KCI The Anti_Meth Site

Would you like to be a drug addict?

Sfj	Would you like to be a drug addict? Who wants to be a drug addict? Yesterday's selection from "Just For Today" discussed the notion that we don't dream about becoming drug addicts when we are children. One of my favorite all-time authors is Alexander King. He wrote, among others, the following books: "May This House Be Safe From Tigers," " I Should Have Kissed Her More", and "Never Trust A Naked Bus Driver". You may have never heard of those books or the author, but when I was a teenager, and able to choose grown-up books instead of the 'Young peoples' books recommended by my prudish English teacher, I loved everything I could get my hands on read all of his books. King was a drug addict and talked about his struggles in his books. I read those books before I ever did any drugs. The Beatniks, Kerouac, Ferlinghetti, Ginsberg, Bukowski and others, regularly smoked pot and took bennies. (speed) I admired them before I ever took drugs. They were free thinkers and willing to take risks in what they said, how they said it and advocated mind expansion before the term was in vogue. Hippies became popular in the summer of 1967. The best-selling magazines, Life, Look, Time, Saturday Evening Post, and many others provided coverage of a great happening in San Francisco's Haight Ashbury neighborhood. "Summer of Love" "Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll." "Make Love, Not War" "Turn on Tune in and Drop out" Man oh man, I read those stories and I was on my way. Timothy Leary, a Harvard Professor, became our LSD Guru. Rock Stars, Janis Joplin, Jefferson Airplane, Grateful Dead, and many others - right here in San Francisco. The Doors, and in England, The Rolling Stones, Beatles, Cream. Johnny Cash sang the Cocaine Blues in Folsom Prison. There are more examples than we can possibly imagine. Movie Stars, Pop stars, TV stars all have celebrities living deep in the drug culture. Sex Pistols made it look fun, exciting, daring, dangerous, and everything that is antithetical to boring dull and mundane. I met a girl who honesty said in a meeting one time that her goal in life was to be like Nancy Spungen, the girl friend of Sid Vicious. ?Her life was so exciting; it was exactly what I wanted.? The heroes of Substance Abuse. W. C. Fields, Kurt Cobain, Whitney Houston, Jim Morrison, Ray Charles, Jimmie Hendrix and the list could go on and on. One of my favorite movies, at least as far as acting is concerned was the performance of Lee Marvin in ?Cat Ballou? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059017/ He was a very convincing drunk, and he made substance abuse look inviting, exciting and attractive. Oprah made a big impact a few months ago. She had a segment on youngsters addicted to meth. The show opened with a few very attractive, young, vibrant, and frankly privileged girls who were shown being chauffeured, dressed in the latest fashions, living in modern decadent splendor and displayed on a big-time Syndicated National TV show. Instant celebrity 'for being a drug addict. How attractive is that'? The cocktail party is often the default place for social gatherings among the elite. When news media, TV and the newspapers find info about a big drug bust they will often show large stashes of drugs and even larger stashes of cash, yachts, fast cars and even faster women. We have become jaded watching the six-o'clock news with stories of multi-million dollar drug dealers, jet-setting to Vegas, Bangkok, Miami, Honolulu and Manhattan. How glamorous is that? The Christians are not exempt. "The Cross and the Switchblade" was a favorite for decades. The intellectuals are not exempt - Hunter S. Thompson, William S. Burroughs. Amphetamine using political leaders like John F. Kennedy and a brutal tyrant dictator such as Adolph Hitler. Drug addiction is not the exclusive domain of the poor and lonely and downtrodden. It is also deeply entrenched into the world of the glamorous, "Rich and Famous." The examples could go on and on they are endless. Did anyone want to become a drug addict? yes someone probably did
Replies...
sunshine skye	Re: Would you like to be a drug addict? Sadly, looking back, I did. I idolized so many of those people. BUT!!! Today I'm training to run a marathon. I love me! And I love you too!
lax2	Re: Would you like to be a drug addict? There's sure some truth to this idea... I knew I wasn't a rock star, though I always fanaticized about having a hit record. Of course I can't sing or play an instrument well. But living in Hollywood, as long as I was partying with the same $h!t as anybody else, as I looked to the hills from my Apartment, and buzzed around my Apt. from room to room, and along the blvds. where the nightclubs and limosines circled I sure felt like a rock star. It was the closest I could cum in my drugged out haze. Too bad I didn't devote the same amount of energy to my Entertainment Industry career as I did in my pursuit of the sex, drugs and rock n roll lifestyle. I might have actually succeeded at getting a TV show on the air or discovered and managed some serious talent. Who knows I could have been a casting agent or a Record Co. Executive. But all my energies went to the party and recovering from the weekend enough to do it all again the next weekend. For the most part I had fun at it for many years, but it does us no good for me to dwell on that. I know I am lucky to have survived it all.
Penel0pe	Re: Would you like to be a drug addict? I'm already a drug addict, J!
forget suzette	Re: Would you like to be a drug addict? *Quote:* Would you like to be a drug addict? ...is there something else you can show me?
Lisa	Re: Would you like to be a drug addict? This made me think: looking back, I've always been a reader. I've always preferred books to movies, and sometimes to people. I have an entire library in my home, which holds some of the earliest books I ever read (as a teenager, not a kid). I'd say 90% of these books are about troubled people....drug addicts, rock stars, the "beats" of sixties San Francisco, stories of mental illness, lives of excess, and murder. I've always been attracted to books on the "glamorous" lives of troubled people, which naturally include tons of drugs. So I guess you could say, yeah, I've always been attracted to the darker side of life. Although I never aspired to be a drug addict, looking back, I see what direction my "interests" were headed. It's just in the past five or six years that I've re-directed my reading in the opposite direction - spirituality. But prior to that, I guess in a way I did wanna be a drug addict. Sad.
Sfj	Re: Would you like to be a drug addict? Lisa, Have you ever been to City Lights Bookstore in San Francisco? If not, you'll really love it. When you get here, maybe we can go on a shopping trip. It is "THE" original Beatnik Bookplace.
luvepiphany	Re: Would you like to be a drug addict? Jerry Garcia kept me from being a drug addict-the final straw for me. Before his death I was thinking it might just be a great career
Lisa	Re: Would you like to be a drug addict? Hi Sfj, City Lights is my all-time favorite bookstore in, of course, my all-time favorite city! I started going to San Francisco when I was thirteen (in 1969); it was, believe it or not, only $17.00 for a round-trip ticket from L.A. By the time I was seventeen, I was driving up there for weekends with my boyfriend. We'd hit City Lights each and every time. I still have every book I've ever bought there. We thought we were incredibly sophisticated and worldly; in reality we were "intellectual hippie wannabes". We'd go to City Lights, buy some books, drink espresso and smoke our brains out in North Beach, and discuss Kerouac, Ginsberg, Thompson, and Burroughs. Some of my happiest times were at City Lights. I'd LOVE to go on a shopping trip with you, and I'd like to turn my son onto City Lights, too. He's just the type to love it. Love, Me P.S. I didn't know anyone else ever read "The Cross and the Switchblade!" I read it and reread it eons ago (I actually think I might still have it). Unfortunately, it didn't have the effect it was supposed to have on me --- I was ATTRACTED to the sleaze, not repelled. I wonder how many other people read stuff like that and have the opposite reaction rather than the reaction that was intended?
Sfj	Re: Would you like to be a drug addict? Yeah, I've talked about people doing things that "backfire" a lot on this forum. Sometimes they just don't understand. Of course, sometimes I don't understand either, that's why we discuss things like that.
Penel0pe	Re: Would you like to be a drug addict? I am a big Vonnegut fan. Yes, he is bizarre. That's why I love him... and Speaking of books by addicts, either Lisa or SFJ - ever read any Bukowski? Try "Tap Water Music" if you haven't... he also wrote "Barfly" and a movie was made from that... but the BOOKS are where it's at. Either of you read "The Family" by Ed Sanders? Great reading if you like to read about drug addicts and sociopath...
Lisa	Re: Would you like to be a drug addict? Hi Pen, Yep...read "Barfly", but not until after I saw the movie. You're right - another book better than the movie. What a surprise, right? I guess I have every book on the Family ever written, so yeah, I read "The Family" by Ed Sanders. I have it; I don't know why - I guess it helps complete my Manson library. (Yeah, I'm weird). Anyone ever read Richard Brautigan - "Trout Fishing in America" or "Dreaming of Babylon"?
BentBut Not Broken	Re: Would you like to be a drug addict? Unfortunately, it didn't have the effect it was supposed to have on me --- I was ATTRACTED to the sleaze, not repelled. I wonder how many other people read stuff like that and have the opposite reaction rather than the reaction that was intended? I've never read any of these books. Growing up, our home was filled with all kinds of adult reading about many topics, but never things like this. Maybe that's why this stuff makes me want to puke, who knows. Seeing drunks and folks high on pot made me RUN, not walk, in the other direction, especially pot-heads. That was the worst I grew up with in high school (what a blessing looking back knowing my addictive personality). I think the "sleaze" factor is what made me get physically sick each time I smoked pot--it went totally against all I had been taught growing up. Hmmmm, neat insight. As far as getting drunk, that I only did twice in 42 years to the point of "falling-down" or "fighting-mad" drunk. Luckily, the "falling-down" drunk was at a bar that was owned by folks who had always known me and they took my keys from me. They stayed at the bar all night long letting me sleep it off. They woke me up with the blackest and strongest coffee I have ever seen and McDonald's-this-n-that buffet. They made me eat and drink to get my keys back. I know they saved my--and probably others--life not letting me drive. "Fighting-mad" drunk was with my ex-husband after several hours at a marriage counselors office. He finally pronounced "I'd rather drive long-haul than work in town and have what you (meaning me and his parents and all the rest of his firefighter married friends) call a 'normal' marriage." Oddly, I didn't get drunk till after he got verbally abusive to me that night....then and again, deep inside me I think I sensed he was going to blow up somehow and I had to be "on-guard". I know I raised the roof with him after he tore into me and then grabbed my arm! I pulled away from him so fast because he surely scared the breathe out of me, but my face was blank and I stood quite firm in front of him. I guess I kind of wanted him to move one step more and hit me so I really could go off on him. Instead, he went to bed and I got the booze out. The more I drank, the less I swore he'd sleep before he had to get up and go get in that friggin truck he loved (and the dollars it raked in--mostly those dayum dollars) more than me. After he did leave for work, I took some Goody powders and made coffee and called on all the folks I could at 4 a.m. to get a moving crew together. I was a pro at packing and knew I had only until 1 p.m. that day before he'd be back in and he sure was not going to find any resemblance of a wife at home. No more would I be of service when he needed it, for all I cared, he could get a ho on the road. Yes, I did use the red lipstick writing "Good-bye" (from one of the country songs he and I used to love so much) on the walls as I left out with the last load at 10 a.m. thanks to my crew of help. Before our divorce was final, he asked me out to dinner, as friends. I kinda thought that odd since we hadn't spoken after that night except via our answering machines--rarely then, and only as it related to the divorce process. What the heck...I went. We had a really nice time and caught up on each other and our families and I never asked about his job--no way Jose. Towards the end, conversation dwindled and that odd silence settled in. I really did want to leave, but..... .....after what seemed forever, and in unison of all things, we both said, "I'm sorry." We looked at each other with watermelon eyed expressions and both busted out laughing like two kids. We knew we each truly meant what we said which has allowed us to remain friends to this day. Forgiving is such a wonderful thing!!! My therapist has always told me I'm not the kind who could be an alcoholic because of all the alcoholism of my brother and of elder family members I watched as a child (in sheer horror at that) get drunk, fall down, fight verbally, and physically. She has told me many times that with me being a smoker, I COULD easily become addicted to smokable drugs, which I do know to be true. Thanks for things to think on Jaye as we work through this thing called life. You really mean a lot to me and are such a help to sooooo many folks.
Penel0pe	Re: Would you like to be a drug addict? *Quote:* My therapist has always told me I'm not the kind who could be an alcoholic because of all the alcoholism of my brother and of elder family members I watched as a child (in sheer horror at that) get drunk, fall down, fight verbally, and physically. With the reality being that people who grow up in those households are exponentially more likely to become addicts and alcoholics... I on the other hand lead a sheltered life in regard to any substance use, and I am an addict - go figure. And Lisa, I also have a Manson collection.
Lisa	Re: Would you like to be a drug addict? Pen, somehow I KNEW that ya would! BTW, I also grew up very sheltered, loved and cared for. I was an only child, and absolutely ADORED by my parents, who both had a couple of glasses of champagne on New Years, and that was the extent of their "partying". There is NO history of drug or alcohol abuse (or even USE) in my family tree. I guess I broke THAT record! LOL And Pen, I remember reading Vonnegut in high school, but not being able to get through it. If you recommend him, maybe I should try 'em again.
Jamie J1979	Re: Would you like to be a drug addict? I was always attacked to the dark side of life too. My Dad was a functioning alcoholic and it made me hate booze but love drugs, go figure? That's not to say I didn't experiment with booze because I did when I was a teen. I drank socially from age 16-18, then I drank like a alcoholic from age 18-19. I had fake ID since age 16 so by the time I was 21 I was burnt out on the bar scene. I never go to bars and I can't recall the last time I was drunk. I remember idolizing drug addicts when I was growing up. I live in Seattle and many young people idolized Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love and their heroin addictions.
Penel0pe	Re: Would you like to be a drug addict? *Quote:* And Pen, I remember reading Vonnegut in high school, but not being able to get through it. If you recommend him, maybe I should try 'em again. Breakfast of Champions Read that one. I am currently reading Player Piano - I just started it though...
scorpio	Re: Would you like to be a drug addict? *Quote:* Did anyone want to become a drug addict? I don't know that 'want' is the proper word for me. I grew up in a house full of drug addicts. My mother drank and ate pills, her husband was a drunk. One of my older brothers did a lot of hallucinogenics, the other did heroin. Every one who visited or hung out around our house, as well as the people in the neighborhood did SOMETHING. For me it was more a matter of 'what kind' of a drug addict I would be. I chose meth because I hated drunks and heroin didn't look appealing, pot made me paranoid, and my brother was insane on angel dust..........
Rubyy 2zday	Re: Would you like to be a drug addict? Oh, the excitement! Everyone around me modeled the addicts lifestyle. - Funny and carefree, sexy & thin, crazy & silly - It was a perfect fit. ..Oh yea, I saw the downside too. So many (including Mom & Sis) went away to jail when I was young... so many died... so many sick... so many sad. But by then I was filling the shoes nicely. ..Like a hot stove, I had to have the burn directly on my skin before I cried in pain..