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Do I tell my kids I am a Meth addict?


henrts Do I tell my kids I'm a meth addict?
Please somebody help me. I have two boys ages 12 and 15. I've already told my mother and others that I have been a meth addict for 16 yrs. I have not told my boys though. They think that I drink or smoke pot. It rips me up inside to think how they are going to react to the fact that their mother is a user of the big "M" (meth). any help out there?
     Replies...
TxTigger Re: Do I tell my kids I'm a meth addict?
You need to tell them the truth. Because if you lie to them and they find out that can be a lot worse. Trust me. I know. It is always better to tell them truth than to ever lie. My kids which are 5 & 6 know I did "bad pills" which they now know is drugs. I want them to know I have always told them the truth even in the beginning.

lax2 Re: Do I tell my kids I'm a meth addict?
Can I assume that you are clean now ? If so, for how long ?
If not...well... are you working on a plan to get clean or stop using?

TnSkye Re: Do I tell my kids I'm a meth addict?
I had my husband tell our daughter the truth when she was 9. Maybe your truth will help keep them or some of their friends from ever trying it.

roadwife Re: Do I tell my kids I'm a meth addict?
It's a hard question.

But my kids found out on their own, my 16 yr old found out on the school bus from another kid that their dad did. Not a good way to find out. My 14 yr old found out from her then. My 12 yr old thought dad just drinks too much whiskey until this past weekend, I finally told him. I thought I could protect them from it. Not a good way. Don't expect too much from them, if and when you do tell them. Remember they are kids. Anger seems to come out first but give them time. It's hard on them and they are wiser than most of us adults give them credit for.

I only wish you the best. And I agree, are you going for help? Again I wish you only the best.

roadwife Re: Do I tell my kids I'm a meth addict?
I had to come back and correct myself. I said anger first. No one knows for sure how kids are going to react. That was just my kids. That was my kids and consider they found out the wrong way. Just remember lying won't help them understand and it won't help you either.
imlostinky Re: Do I tell my kids I'm a meth addict?
Have answers ready for their questions.
Have your recovery plan in place.

Yes you need to tell them, they will find out one way or the other -it is best it come from you.
It would be best if when you told them, you could also say I am doing this ,this , and this to help quit and be the mom I know I can be.
They aren't grown no matter how much they like to think they are.And how you handle it will make the difference.
If you go to them shaky and out of fear, they also will be afraid.
If you go to them in control and standing on solid ground, then they will be calmed.

We are only as sick as our secrets. Honesty will set you free- being honest with yourself and those around you.
It won't be easy but you can beat this.
There is life after meth, we do recover- and we are good parents after meth.

Loraura Re: Do I tell my kids I'm a meth addict?
After you have told them, make absolutely positive that you do not bring meth into the house, into your car, into your purse or bags, into any place that they could find it.

The curiosity to know "what the deal is with this drug mom is on" could be enough for them to try it if they found it, and look for it if they feel that they want to find answers themselves.

Do your part to make sure they get their answers without finding out first hand.

FreeOn
Kci
Re: Do I tell my kids I'm a meth addict?
My 10 year old and 11 year old knew mommy was doing something. They were told by many people that it was meth and they thought the smell was pot actually or some kind of drug. when they would ask what I was doing I'd lie but then on Dec.20/2004 12 days after their little sister was born the law came in with the welfare and removed their sister from my arms and handed me a paper and told my kids that their sister tested positive for meth when she was born my kids called the law liars and said "my mommy don't do meth ask her" GUESS what their mommy did...So to say the least it is better to tell your kids ahead of time before they find out otherwise hearing it from you will mean more to them as far as honesty and trust goes. I spend everyday waking on gaining their full trust back and by staying clean and in recovery they love their mother and trust their mother again! Good luck

henrts Re: Do I tell my kids I'm a meth addict?
Thank you for all the support. I have only been clean for 2 days now and this is the first time in 16 years that I ever wanted to quit. I'm tired of the lies, sleepless nights and fights. I look into my boys eyes and want them to have so much more. I'm currently going to NA but moving, so will start more intense treatment once I arrive. I am scared that all these major changes in my life is not the best time to try and stay sober. But you have to start sometime.

FreeOn
Kci
Re: Do I tell my kids I'm a meth addict?
You said "I am scared that all these major changes in my life is not the best time to try and stay sober" Well honey when you want to get clean and stay clean the one thing you have to change is EVERYTHING!!!!So now is a better time than any to start! You can do this!!!  No matter what changes you are going threw NOTHING is worth getting high over!!!

wildcat5 Re: Do I tell my kids I'm a meth addict?
Kids are really smart, if you don't tell them, they will find out then you don't have their trust anymore...

imlostinky Re: Do I tell my kids I'm a meth addict?
Quote:
I am scared that all these major changes in my life is not the best time to try and stay sober.

Henrts, just do your best, work the program, and just take it one day at a time.
Each morning Just for today I will not use. Just for today I choose life.
That is all, just make it through this one day.
Don't worry about tomorrow, it isn't here. If you look too far ahead, you will overwhelm yourself and give up before you begin.

Just for today I will reach out for help because I want to live, I want to be the mother I know I can be.
Just one day at a time.
and know you are so not alone- we have been there, right where you are, that is why we are here. To show you proof positive we do recover and there is life after meth.

and we did it just this way, taking it one day at a time.
Just for today.
You can do this, I know you can even if you don't right now.
I have faith in you. Soon you will have faith of your own.
TinkM Re: Do I tell my kids I'm a meth addict?
Your first priority is to get clean and sober. Alcohol is also a drug, pot is illegal. If you are a meth addict you can not do any mind altering substances. It is not going to help if you stop doing speed and continue to do marijuana maintenance and/or drink. Until you get clean and sober of all mind altering drugs, you will not be able to be teachable to learn why you had to use to begin with. Drugs are just a symptom of underlying problems, take them away and the problems get even worse. I got clean and sober through the 12 steps , I had to do the footwork, and not pick up sometimes one minute at at time. But its doable. First things first stop using and get into recovery, since your drinking and smoking pot you do not have to say anything but your going to stop both of these and when you get to that part of your recovery, we call it amends you can talk to you kids. Since your already abusing two other drugs I would suggest you take care of you first and let it happen when its time to address as I am sure there are more things you have not told them.

If your kids know you drink and do pot I doubt they are going to get to upset about the speed if they do not already know anyway. Pot is illegal and your obviously not worried about what message that sent, so go for it be honest. But be honest for the right reasons, because you want them to know what you are doing is wrong. along with drinking alcoholically and doing a illegal drug. This is called being accountable as a parent and being true to yourself.

The problem with most speed addicts is the day after remorse when things are going badly. As soon however as they get a few lumps in their sheet they are off and running again. You have to have a reason to stop ...do you? If so then get into a program, if its really bad go in house somewhere and get your life together. The kids will leave soon and you will have to get clean and sober for yourself or you will be out there again.

See also:

What do you tell the kids when boyfriend goes to jail for meth?

This question is for parents that used


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