KCI The Anti_Meth Site

Quit Meth - Joy felt for the first time

Autumn 15	Quit Meth - Joy felt for the first time i saw my boyfriend for the first time since sunday and it made me more happy then i have been for the last 6 yrs or so. As it turns out we have both stayed sober for last 4 or 5 days. We laughed for about an hour. We have both gained at least 15lbs and looked like we are about to fall over on our feet. I loved every second of it. He reassured me that he will still love me even if i gain another 50lbs. He looked into my eyes and told me he loves me for me and said besides you look cute with a little meat on your bones! That visit meant more to me then any other ive had with him in our entire relationship. For once we could drive around and not spend every moment searching for the cops or all of the monsters hiding around every bend in the road. Who knew that just 4 days could make so much of the paranoia dissappear? It felt wonderful just to laugh. I want to thank all of the people who answered my last post. It may have already been a solved problem, but i didnt know it yet and it meant a lot to me to be able to vent with people who know what i'm going through. thank you. I for once am enjoying my existence and i only pray that lasts! thanks for listening
Replies...
jacks mom	Re: Quit Meth - Joy felt for the first time COOL! But how do you gain 15 lbs. in 4 or 5 days? Just curious...I don't use so I don't understand it that much.
nine years clean	Re: Quit Meth - Joy felt for the first time *Quote:* He reassured me that he will still love me even if i gain another 50lbs. How sweet. He's a good guy. A keeper, as us old ladies say.
Cante Ista	Re: Quit Meth - Joy felt for the first time I think you are fooling yourself. First of all, I looked at your profile. Your 20 yrs old? In your first post you said he's been doing this for 15 yrs? That means you have never known him with out meth. This "problem" is far from being solved. You also said that you had been doing meth for 6 months? You said you tried to quit a 100 times but couldn't? How do you expect him to just quit after 15 yrs if you couldn't in the past 6 mo's? Nothing about any rehab. Nothing about any programs. Gained 15 lbs in 4-5 days? Thats 3 lbs a day? I was born at night, but NOT last night. Remove the rose colored glasses, girlfriend. You need to stay away from him if YOU want to stay clean.
JUST CATS	Re: Quit Meth - Joy felt for the first time Thank you Cante Ista. You couldn't have said it any better. Things are not okay. I don't believe it for a minute. Stop fooling yourself and get some help for you and your bf if he really wants it. After 15 years, he is not going to quit, just like that over night... Be honest with yourself. That is a good first step to take...
Autumn 15	Re: Quit Meth - Joy felt for the first time Our problem with quitting was not the quitting itself but the lonliness felt when tried. Before when we would try we would each be stuck inside our rooms staring at the 4 walls that would close in on us. We couldnt leave the house for fear of running into the users we knew before. thats why it never worked before. And just for your information he was not using the entire 15 yrs. he would go through periods of time in which he would quit as well. Since we have each other now, i belive it can work because we can see one another and not be so alone. he called me this morning and asked if i could take him to a job offer he recieved. BIG improvement. Miracles do happen perhaps you need to stop being so cynical and learn to have a little faith. Yes life sux sometimes, yes I now its going to take a Lot of work. But I am most defintly NOT going to give up on him when I can see how hard he is trying.
mistee rane	Re: Quit Meth - Joy felt for the first time Yes it is possible for long time users to quit without rehab. I used for 13 years daily, relapsing twice. I have 77 days clean today, and I didnt go to rehab. You will need more support than each other. Go check out an NA meeting, if you dont like the first one, keep going to meetings until you find one you like. I have met some of the nicest people at meetings, and they are very supportive. Good luck to you and your boyfriend, you can do it, but you have to BOTH want it, and it wont be easy. Just take it one day at a time. Today you will not use.
JUST CATS	Re: Quit Meth - Joy felt for the first time Autumn, You keep talking about "him"... What about you??? You should concentrate on your own recovery too. You are a meth user also. You may not have used as long, but the drug is just as deadly. And as far as being "cynical." We have been with addicts for many, many years. We have been through the denial, the lies, the cheating... (I could go on and on) We come, with much experience. I have every right to be cynical. I know personally, I have had my ex/addict look me in the eyes, after getting out of jail, and tell me he will never use again, he knows meth will kill him, and in the same breath lie to me and come up with some excuse to get money for his meth. Where is he now? Back in jail headed to prison for another meth related arrest- after just getting out of jail. We may be cynical, but, we have a reason to be, when dealing with the addicts we love. We have given them EVERY benefit of the doubt and then some. I personally look for the best in situations, but when you have been through this, over and over and over again, it is time to get real and pull you head out of the sand. I hope that recovery works for the two of you, but meth is not a game, as you stated in your first post. And as far as I see it, you are making this all about your boyfriend and not you. You are an addict too. Do it for yourself, because you need to.
Cante Ista	Re: Quit Meth - Joy felt for the first time Justcats, She won't be able to see anything UNTIL she takes off the rose colored glasses. SHE doesn't have a "problem" now. It got fixed.
Autumn 15	Re: Quit Meth - Joy felt for the first time I am well aware of the fact that I have a problem. Do you think I think that i just woke up cured. Bullshit! I have felt every agonizing moment of the last week. I have gone through symptoms of withdrawal, Migraines, siezures, Nausea.... Do you think I am not in a great deal of pain!!! I am not some stupid little girl as you 2 seem to think i am. I have been to the bottom of the bottom, I have lived on the streets. I have had an ex and his 2 friends think it would just be hilarious to hold me down and shove a needle filled with crystal meth into my arm. Do you think that I dont live in fear every single day that i will go see my love and his pupils will be the size of saucers! I am scared to death of never getting out of this losing fight. But it helps me stay strong when I have another to think of and help. No addict is the same. We have different triggers and different things help us crawl out of hell. You are not the only 2 people who exist. I am a completely different person, my boyfriend is a different man then yours. It seems to me that you are lashing out at me in my situation, because you were to stupid to get out of your own. Perhaps you cant stand to think that maybe me and mine can actually grow in our relationship and that we will work because your own was such a failure. Well Mine WILL work because i am not going to give up on it. Love is patient, love is kind, love does not envy, love does not boast, love is not selfish, love is not quick to anger.
jacks mom	Re: Quit Meth - Joy felt for the first time Nobody's LASHING OUT! They're telling you what's what...they've been there! You may want to think good and hard about it.
Cante Ista	Re: Quit Meth - Joy felt for the first time Autumn. I have not posted this info before, but for you, I will. I have been an addict longer than you have been breathing. Tho I quit most hard drugs for a long time, I'm back. Been back for way longer than you been using. I don't have any reason to not use anymore. And as for my "MAN", I left the relationship, MANY YEARS AGO. I didn't stay to try to change any one. I didn't stay to try to control any one. Cause I knew I couldn't anyway. I knew what that rocky road looked like. I knew what kind of heartaches I would be facing. BECAUSE I'D BEEN THERE. I'm an old street kid. Grew up there. Lived in more burned out buildings than you have probably seen in your life. Been places that you can't even imagine going. Rumbled many more times than I care to remember. Watched people bleed to death, burried many of our own. Wanna talk about being scared? Try being about 14, sitting in the middle of the street with the burn of a bullet inside you as your holding your buddy, who is bleeding to death in your arms and your rival walks up to you, puts the gun in your face and the next thing you hear is "pop". He was shot before he could pull the trigger. I'm old and I'm tired. Don't want to argue with you. When your ready to see the truth, then you will. The hardest lesson to learn is the one you fight the most.
JUST CATS	Re: Quit Meth - Joy felt for the first time I am not going to argue with you either, Autumn. You came here for help and info, and I told you how I felt about the situation, just as Cante Ista did. Except it or don't except it, it's your choice. I spoke my mind and you got defensive. Oh well. You seem to have it all figured out. I will share what knowledge I have about meth with someone that wants to listen, get help and not deny the the issues that are brought to their attention. Good luck to you and your bf. I hope you win the battle over meth. It means life or death.
mdfaz alea	Re: Quit Meth - Joy felt for the first time Getting mad is good and bad. BUT the best thing is to take it one day at a time. Even 1 hour at a time or 1 minute at a time. I can only pray that you quit now at your age and not end up at my age. I'm 38 years old and started at your age. I used for 17 years and now have 338 days clean. Time goes by to fast and I wish i tried to quit when i was your age.