KCI The Anti_Meth Site

On my way to inpatient rehab, I am so scared!

Chelsea	On my way to inpatient rehab, I am so scared! My plane leaves tomorrow and I am on my way to inpatient rehab all by myself and I am scared to death! I don't want to go, I already miss everyone and I miss my family! How will I ever make it through those first ten days??? Can anyone help me with some advice????
imlost inky	Re: On my way to inpatient rehab, I am so scared! It's only scary because it is an unknown. After a few days, it won't be so scary anymore. You haven't shut any doors. If at the end of your treatment time, you want to go back to who you were and where you were, that is still an option. In the meantime, you give it your best. Go in with an open mind- and just see. My sister entered and completed a 12 week in treatment program with a very reputable facility. She had been shooting up for over 2 years at the time. She has been clean now for 10 years- paid for the treatment herself- and considers it to be the best money she ever spent. This very well could be the one thing you do that saves your life. Be sure to check in when you get done - let us know how you are doing.
So much guilt	Re: On my way to inpatient rehab, I am so scared! Hi Chelesa I guess my first question would be, why don't you want to go? This is all about you and ending an addiction. Are you not ready for this? You have to choose what you want in your life. Are you ready to stop using? I will hope and pray that your answer is yes. Life is so short and you can do this if this is what you want to do.... My 22 year old son took his life this past August. Austin battled a 10 year drug addiction, in and out of rehabs. He tried to make them work, but I know he shared with me over and over again that he was just doing it for me and his dad. He wasn't ready. By time meth got it's hold on him, he couldn't live without it or live with what it did to him. I miss him so much, it is unbearable some days. Please visit his website, light a candle, read his story and may Austin's story give you strength to not be afraid of going for treatment. www.austin-hesse.last-memories.com God Bless You and please keep in touch. I will be thinking of you.
guest who	Re: On my way to inpatient rehab, I am so scared! Chelsea, a lot of it probably is the meth trying to convince you not to go. Everyone and your family has missed you too, while you were not yourself (doing drugs.) They will miss you while you are gone but what you all are going to reap when you are well is soooooooooo much worth it. You are going to learn so much about yourself. I am excited for you! You'll make it, imagine how proud you will be of yourself and how nice it will be to spend time with those you love, SOBER, when you get out. It's natural to have t hose feelings but you are going to be just fine. Bless you.
teqa peq	Re: On my way to inpatient rehab, I am so scared! Chelsa Fear of the unknown. Take a deep breath, hold it for 10 seconds and then let it out. Don't' let the fear hold you back from what you know you must do. Keep telling yourself that this is the first day of the rest of my life and it's going to be awesome. Think about it as the first day of college excited for the new life yet fearful of leaving home for the first time.
Chelsea	Re: On my way to inpatient rehab, I am so scared! I was just visiting Austin's website and I had tears in my eyes the entire time. I completely can relate to Austin. It is the hardest thing I have ever gone through before, it is so hard. I don't even like it and I know I am destroying myself but I still keep doing it. It is as if I am stuck. I do want this more then anything to go to rehab and be fine and come back clean and stay clean. If not I will die. I think with Austin, he wanted the same thing, to beat the killer drug and have a normal life, it is so very hard though, sometimes I think impossible. I know that although I don't show it much, sometimes not at all, I still love my family more than anything. I have put them through hell with my addiction and my family is just like you were to Austin. I also was kicked out of my house because my mom couldn't allow me to be a meth addict in her home anymore. What you did wasn't wrong, and he knew you did it because you wanted him to get better and he knows you loved him and although he never would admit it, he knew you were doing the right thing when you kicked him out. I will go to rehab tomorrow and take Austin's story with me to help me have the strength to get through this so I can live for myself, for Austin, and for all the other's who are struggling with this life shattering never ending battle with meth.
teqa peq	Re: On my way to inpatient rehab, I am so scared! Got this from another site I am on. Loved it and wanted to share! Four Choices of the Present Moment In the present moment we can choose NOT to be controlled by Fear. In the present moment we can choose NOT to be controlled by Aggression. In the present moment we can choose NOT to be controlled by Pride. And in the present moment we can most certainly choose NOT to strive foolishly to Control others. There is power in mindfulness. There is power in awareness. There is power in being fully aware of a negative feeling or impulse during the IN-breath and then to choose relaxation during the OUT-breath; for that exhaling relaxation, no matter how slight it may be, contains within it: -the potential for enlightenment itself, -the potential for liberation itself -and the potential for freedom itself. Remember, the freedom we seek is NOT the idealistic freedom from the mere presence of negative feelings or impulses, for that would be a lobotomy! NO, the freedom we seek is from the Tyranny of negative feelings or impulses; freedom from the control of negative feelings or impulses and even freedom from our tendency to Grasp at them.
nine years clean	Re: On my way to inpatient rehab, I am so scared! ChelseA. I would have LOVED to have had the opportunity to enter inpatient rehab to help me end my 13 year meth addiction. But my insurance didn't cover inpatient. So I did it cold turkey, in the rooms of NA, and with the love and support of the fellowship of NA. Thank God it worked for me, but how much easier it would have been to have real medical treatment for a real medical disease, such as meth addiction. Please take it one day at a time; give yourself this gift, for it is the gift of life. You'll be fine. Be brave; be strong; be willing; be grateful.
Chelsea	Re: On my way to inpatient rehab, I am so scared! Here is a poem I wrote recently Broken A baby girl I had On a day not long ago A relationship gone bad A mommy she don't know A heart shattered and gone No way it will repair Not knowing what went wrong Or why her mommy isn't there Each day that passes by I pull farther away I wish someone could tell me why It's so hard for me to stay This little girl is growing fast Mommy's missing all her firsts Her very first step has gone and passed Knowing I missed that is the worst I hope one day I'll come around And kiss my past goodbye She'll be so happy once mommy's found The thought of it makes me cry
Chelsea	Re: On my way to inpatient rehab, I am so scared! Here is a poem my mother wrote about meth A Mothers Pain You took away my husband, I no longer am a wife. You took away my daughter, I no longer have a life. A precious, little baby girl lost her Mom and Dad. You've taken everything I love, I've never been so sad. You're ugly and you're evil, you're scary and you're mean. You are the most destructive thing that I have ever seen. Please give me back my family and give me back my life. The pain that you have caused me cuts deeper then a knife. I hear you and I see you, no matter what I do. Meth, why are you killing me, I never touched you.
no more mething around	Re: On my way to inpatient rehab, I am so scared! (((HUGS))) Go give it hell, girl. Please come back and tell us how it goes. I would be scarred, too !!
teqa peq	Re: On my way to inpatient rehab, I am so scared! Chelesa You are soo soo lucky to have such a wonderful mom who continually expresses her love for you. You must be a wonderful young women or she would have given up. She knows the real you, the one that you have buried with anger and resentment, The one that is hiding behind walls so high that you can't see anymore. Go to that rehab and bring that girl back with you. She's that magical little inner child within you and you have lost touch with her. Go get back in touch with the real you. And then you will be the wonderful Mom to your daughter just like you Mom was for you. Your in my prays
imlost inky	Re: On my way to inpatient rehab, I am so scared! *Quote:* It is as if I am stuck. That is the grand illusion of meth Chelsea. You are not as stuck as you feel. In the beginning, it is hard. You feel as if you are stuck in quicksand and every step bogs you down that much further. It gets better with time. You hang in there- you go to your treatment facility. Chelsea, the day will come when you look back and you wonder why you didn't go sooner. All of this - all the false security- you will see it for what it is, an illusion. You don't need meth to live. There is no life with meth. There is no high with meth that can match the high you will find in life. When you get through to the other side, when you get out of the quicksand, you will know what I am talking about. There is a lifetime still of firsts with your daughter. So many I can not even begin to list them all. You don't want to miss another day for meth. You have missed too many as it is. You go tomorrow and you know you are so not alone here. All of us will be with you- you will be in our thoughts. You can beat this- there is life after meth. So much more than you have ever imagined.
danimal 55	Re: On my way to inpatient rehab, I am so scared! Fear not Chelsea, and remember...there IS one thing harder than kicking meth......... continuing to use it. You're going to the "safe zone" where you'll feel safer and more cared for than you have in a long time. "Stuck" describes meth addiction quite well and you're about to get un-stuck, your mind may be squirming but your spirit is already celebrating.....ours too! For now lets keep it simple, imagine one hand is full of love and the other is full of fear, which hand do you want to eat out of? "God" [love] is the first to leave and the last to return in the face of meth addiction, so be munching' on that love you've got a hold of. The mask of the great deceiver is about to come off, YOU are finished being a slave to the Epitome of Sorcery. And you have an entire forum who's got your back, and trust me..... we WILL celebrate with YOU. Not just a little! Freeeee at last! Good luck!
luve piphany	Re: On my way to inpatient rehab, I am so scared! FEAR False Evidence Absent of Reality did I remember it right Dee? Well, this one works for me when I'm scared...I read it and then I think it over... God's greatest blessings to You Chelsea-go find You
iw2q06	Re: On my way to inpatient rehab, I am so scared! the thought of going away from my family into rehab always scares the @#%$ outta me. the fact that there's someone who is going to do it (as in you) makes me feel a whole lot better. I'm happy u are going to go. u are making a great decision and are changing your life to better.... i hope when u come back I could learn lots of what they teach you. your an inspiration.
pepper 4308	Re: On my way to inpatient rehab, I am so scared! I won't pretend to understand your anxiety - but I will say you need to be so proud of yourself for taking this step. It means you're ready for change. Go into it with open eyes, open heart, open mind. You have the love of family and they will be there for you when you're done - with open arms! My prayers are with you and I can't wait to hear from you when you're done.