KCI The Anti_Meth Site

Daughter using Meth, addict indecision?

backdoc3	Daughter using meth, is her indecision because of meth? My daughter is totally indecisive, doesn't care, no motivation, no fear. We are still in contact with her and she talks to us fairly openly. She just lost her job (slept till 5pm), we cut off all support 3 weeks ago, will owe rent Feb. 1st, has no car, we are in Iowa so it's fairly cold, she's sheltering her whole clan in her apt. When we ask her things about her future she just says I don't know, I'm not sure, whatever, shrugs. She wants to go on food stamps now, and be taken to apply for public housing. This is off the subject but can you just get assistance for no other reason than you are a meth attack?? My husband and I are clueless about the whole welfare system apparently. So my question is about the decision making process and "stress" so to speak. One minute she's going to go on food stamps, one minute she's going to move in with "a friend" who doesn't have a job or place "yet" one minute she's leaving town, one minute she's going to apply for a job clear across town and she has no car! She was clean for 10 days over Xmas but we know she has used since Dec. 30th. From this behavior can anyone tell how much she is using or for how long? We don't notice the happiness ever it's her common sense! We tried explaining to her exactly what meth is doing to her brain and her response was "interesting". When we ask her how often she uses (now that it is out in the open) she just answers I can handle it. I guess we are wondering why she doesn't want $$/job to pay for it! Does crime come right away? How do ya get the stuff when you are broke? We are such naive newcomers as parents to this world, but learning quickly!
Replies...
Guene	Re: Daughter using meth, is her indecision because of meth? My daughter did the same thing, went and got food stamps, later I found out they use them for drugs or to get food for friends who have drugs. It all goes hand and hand, they find out about all these free things and they use them, for any reason they can. I'm sorry again this is so painful for you I know. We are a good family, we gave her everything and she had a good home and when she went on food stamps I just couldn't believe it.
backdoc3	Re: Daughter using meth, is her indecision because of meth? I thought of that as well, told my husband I'm sure she'd sell them. What state are you in? We are in IA and my huby thought it was done differently now to prevent that, something like a debit card. Whatever, so it's true than we as tax payers give food and shelter to the users for no other reason than they use? I really thought you had to have a disability or a child, or some good reason to not support yourself!
Guene	Re: Daughter using meth, is her indecision because of meth? We live in Ca. and they do get a card in this state, but they can still buy them food and then trade for it. This drug is so bad and everytime I come here or see it for my own eyes I could just cry.
cleansober	Re: Daughter using meth, is her indecision because of meth? Backdoc3, in california, homeless people can get foodstamps, hundred a month i heard, don't know how that could feed anyone,and the ones with kids can get cash, free medical, and job training,cheaper rent and stuff like that.
TnSkye	Re: Daughter using meth, is her indecision because of meth? I know people around here who buy the cards. One man thinks the person he buys them from is 'ashamed' to be on food stamps. He doesn't know she lets her kids go without food and buys drugs for her and her boyfriend instead.... Where there's a will, there's a way.
backdoc3	Re: Daughter using meth, is her indecision because of meth? Nope, but I'm sure it is around the corner as I stated since she has no $, no job, and won't be able to pay rent by Feb. 1st. I asked before, naive, do you go right to crime, or I just don't get it! How do you get it with no money/income! It would seem to me with any brain cells left you would want to hang on to your income source! Question: anyone else on this board from Iowa? Meth is such an epidemic here with all the farmland.... we have tough laws but no long term available treatment (more than 30 days) I don't THINK......
Loraura	Re: Daughter using meth, is her indecision because of meth? WOOHOOO!!! Now if they'd just do a drug test before they gave them tax payer assistance, I'd be even more happy!
danimal55	Re: Daughter using meth, is her indecision because of meth? "How do you get the stuff when you are broke"?? Lie, cheat, and steal....standard procedures. Most of us run a game that involves dealing to support our habit, along with other un-mentionables. Most of us reached a point where a job was totally out of the question. Meth addiction is VERY costly... and with no income, we resort to the un-thinkable.
Silent SonIII	Re: Daughter using meth, is her indecision because of meth? I used for 27 years the last 18 of them I used Meth. I've been clean and sober for close to five months now. The thing that I experienced and still even feel somewhat today was how much I had stopped caring. I didn't care about much and if there wasn't any dope left then the only thing I cared about was re-upping. So when you are going crazy wondering why she has stopped caring for normal everyday things, keep in mind that is not the real person, that is the dope in control. When I was able to function without the drugs in my blood then slowly my ability to give-a-shyt started to come back. As long as you are trying to reason with the drug you're on an uphill struggle. God Bless and Good Luck
Cindy Luu	Re: Daughter using meth, is her indecision because of meth? I am here in Iowa. I started to write yesterday and deleted it because I am not real sure about the welfare system when it comes to food stamps. I do know if you get money, you also get a letter in the mail for job classes. Child care is payed for. If I remember correctly, you can get welfare for only two years and then you are up a creek. Like I said though, I don't know how that works for just food stamps. Maybe the laws have also changed since 2000. I hear the pain and frustration in your writing. I know when I was going through so much stuff with the ex and my daughters, I was calling anyone and everyone tnat I could get to listen. I felt helpless and a crazed woman. I guess the only two cents I could offer is this. Talk to her, talk to her and talk to her. Just keep it up. Even if it seems like a waste of time, I don't think it is. I remember when I felt I had lost, I went to plan two or three or four. I just started talking about what situations might come up, where the crap might lead them if they come face to face with it and so much more that I can't seem to think of write now. I then had to let them out of my car into the world and hope something I said would stick, hit home and maybe save them. I guess I will close for now. Nice to meet you close neighbor.