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DEA is arresting my Meth husband and he doesn't know...yet

DEA is arresting my Meth husband
May is here and my husband will face meth charges, and still he doesn't know. I live with this horrible secret every single minute of every single day, and he dont know. I'm starting to feel extreamly guilty, i look at him and my heart brakes over and over again, i cant sleep, i lay beside him at night when he finally comes to bed after his long strug out high..and i watch him sleep, and i remember who he used to be, and who he is now and its just heart braking. God how do i live without him, he is looking at so much time in jail, and he doesnt even know his days are numbered. Ive been told by the DEA that i cant warn him, because he would disappear, and you have to understand that this may just as well be the only thing that saves his life because he is killing himself, and our life together is already dead, then why do i ache so bad? Ive been told that ive held up good thru all this, but i sware i think im gonna just fall apart..and im afraid..i keep telling myself its gonna be alright, but the closer the day comes, im not so sure..the only thing i can justify it is thinking that if this didnt happen still one year down the road we'd be right where we are now, only he may be dead by then...Keep us both in your prayers please...thanks for listening
TnSkye Re: DEA is arresting my Meth husband
Believe it or not, this life becomes our comfort zone. As with any addiction, when something threatens to take away our comfort, we feel fear, anxiety, grief, dread, a whole menu of emotions.

Even though we know it is for the best, it takes a while to FEEL it.

Maybe while he's in jail he'll find himself, maybe he'll find God, maybe he'll make plans for a better life and learn how to achieve that when he gets out. Whether or not you get back together, seeing him happy and healthy would make it all worth it, right? For me it would.

Until it happens, just remember to keep breathing. Often when we feel anxious, we hold our breath and this does lots of ugly things to our bodies.

Spend this time thinking of how you'll spend all your extra time. Not 'caring for' an addict really frees up alot of time. You need to find things to keep you from getting bored and to keep your mind focused on something other than him.

Maybe you'd like an online diary to keep track of your thoughts? I've been doing this for almost 2 years and when I go back and read what I've written in the past, it amazes me how much I've changed and grown.
JAN2006 Re: DEA is arresting my Meth husband
Oh I know your pain, it is very hard to see the person we once knew, then do to meth, that person is not the person we fell in love with.

Sure I loved my husband also, but during the end of my marriage, I saw things in him like he was different, not him self.I married him in 2000, things just were not the same, he was staying up all night long boy was I ever tired .

He would lose job after job, he would sometimes sleep all day long. He had a son who I just loved, and his son loved me. My husband started getting very mean, in the year of 2001 he killed my dog, she was a tea cup poodle, so I made him move out. Oh sure we keep getting back together you know the on and off thing. No I could not prove he killed my dog, but he was the only one home at her time of death.
I would cry for days over this , and since I came to this site , all my husband would do as I was crying was ask me if I minded if he took care of him self, meaning sex wise that is when I knew for sure he was using meth, it was no more hear say from some of his friends that would tell me he was using meth, no I did not believe it when they would tell me.
So one day I asked my husband are you using drugs? Then the fight would be on because he knew dam well I would not put up with any drug use.
Sure I used to look in his car, look every place I could around the house, it drove me crazy, I had to stop this and the only way I could is to have him move out again. So my divorce was in the year of 2004. His problem became my problem as he would keep calling me trying to get back together so we were never apart really when I think back, it was this very site I found my answers about meth, and he did tell me he was hooked on meth, and was hanging out with the wrong people. What hurts me the most is he does not remember all the good times we had . He now sits in jail for braking his probation , he did not last 3 dam days after put on probation, and no I will not get him out I did one time, but no more for me. I am sure he has done lots of damage to his brain, and by reading on this site what meth does to you its very sad, it so hard for me because of what I have learned on this site, what meth does to a person there is no going back he is like the walking dead. I do not know him any more. Trust me you did the right thing, and just be strong, its hard to watch the one you love kill them self right in front of you.
Stay and post many people will come and help you.
If you ever need to talk pm me ill give you my email.
Lots of love to you
Re: DEA is arresting my Meth husband
this may just as well be the only thing that saves his life because he is killing himself, and our life together is already dead,
Have you ever heard the phrase: End the Madness?

It's time for you to end the madness. You are exactly right in predicting where you would be in one year if you did tip him off, and he didn't get locked up, and was on the run, calling you and expecting you to support his evading the law, and needing money for dope.

I think that's what they call, accomplice, or harboring a fugitive, or something like that. But beyond that, look at the big picture, like you already have, and see where you would be in one year, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years. If you don't let him own up to his drug addiction and the damage it has caused his life, as well as the lives of others, how in the hell do you think he will ever learn?

He won't. He'll die. The meth will kill him. This is my humble opinion.

My name is Lori and I was a meth addict for 13 years. I've been clean almost 10 years, and I went to prison, to prison, for a year thanks to my addiction. I know what I'm talking about. I met SOOOOOOOOO many women in prison, drug addicts, who said that they weren't "arrested", they were "rescued". They said that meant that had they not been busted, they knew for sure they would already be dead.

Gotta go right now. Keep coming back. We'll sort it all out together.
Re: DEA is arresting my Meth husband
Thanks for all your reply's it helps put things in prospective...What a horrible thing this drug addiction
what a tragedy.


Re: DEA is arresting my Meth husband
Hey! To this day, my son Jason is grateful for the year in prison he served, he was doomed to die from meth and he knew it. Shrinking from 165# of solid muscle to a whithered skeleton of 115#, 6 feet under was next.
He's still meth free...... 9 years later!
The "system" often provides a bottom when we can't find it on our own, it can't end the madness but it can slow it down enough to consider our recovery options.... if we're so inclined.
IMO, the worse case scenario for your addict is to continue down the highway to hell that he's on.
Very few of us get clean, and stay clean, without a rude awakening[s]. 6 feet under ain't it!
Re: DEA is arresting my Meth husband
i don't know what to tell u. i turned my boyfriend in and he hated me 4 that. he would call me from jail and call me every name in the book. he was locked up for 7 months and after 3 months sober he relapsed. his not gonna stay clean unless he wants too. u can't make anyone stay clean. i know it's breaking your hard right now but eventually his gonna
have a huge resenment against u. i am not saying this to scare u but i am just speaking from experience. i was with my boyfriend for 5 years and i had to let him go. i hope things work out with u. best of luck
Re: DEA is arresting my Meth husband
Rose Nina, thanks for that, but no one knows i know...he dont and ill die with this secret, for more reasons then one...ive never been on meth, never really been on anything before, i have tried things when i was in my 20's im in my 50's now but i never got into it...so still i find it hard to understand why once they have time to get off the stuff why they would ever ever choose to use again, my god they would have to feel so much better and it be an awakinging for them wouldnt you think...i dont know...im just now understanding its infact a sickness or addiction rather then a CHOICE...im tying to understand.
again thanks for your prayers and reply's

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Husband / Boyfriend Use of Meth

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