KCI The Anti_Meth Site

Lack or low sex drive from meth - is this normal?

karma 123	Lack or low sex drive from meth - is this normal? ummmmm kinda personal question but it is honestly bugging me... when I was using i loved sex. like loved it as much as meth. dirty rotten slamming good sex. yeah. but now, i cringe and make excuses as to why i shouldn't be doing it. I am getting really worried...? before I was always in a using / sexual relationship where my partner never cared much about me but I guess it was mutual? but anyway... since being clean i have met an amazing person and i really actually like him. BUT i can not do it. and when we try i get all coy and scared and come up with every stupid excuse under the sun as to why we shouldnt be doing it... i thought I would get passed it but i just can't. he is obviously now got serious insecurity issues cause i keep pushing him away we start, i stop half way... like what is wrong with me? and i am simply not enjoying it. i am scared i have been mentally scarred by all the using and abusing i have taken in the past or is this just normal...? sex drive gone? i just dont wanna do it with anyone... i mean maybe brad pitt! i dont mind the kissing... but the rest, nope. zip zero zilch. just cant do it. need advice cause my friends dont understand. plus... i have already screwed up this relationship.... don't wanna do it again! i do know they say not to even consider having a relationship in the first year of recovery... but no sex for a year? (actually seems quite possible right now!) and thats a scary thought.
Replies...
Venus Jones 69	Re: Lack or low sex drive from meth - is this normal? This is not too personal. Sex and crystal are so interwoven that I'm surprised there aren't more questions about it on this board. RE: your sex drive: is your aversion only to sex or do you masturbate on your own? Also, how much clean time do you have and for how long did you use? My bf and I used together for over five years. When we quit, we went from having sex almost every day (in some form or another) to not having sex at all. Neither of us had any interest in sex whatsoever in the first 6 months of recovry. It took longer for his drive to come back than mine. We didn't have sex for over a year - it was almost like the sex was a trigger because it was so interwoven with our using days. He used to beg me for us to get a bag just so we could could have sex again. Thankfully, I resisted this temptation and I'm pleased to report that we're having great sex again. It's even better because it doesn't take 24 hours and 10 different porno movies to achieve orgasm. (: From what I've read, you have to reprogram the brain to enjoy sex again because it's so tied in to the crystal. My advice to you is don't force it. It's very frustrating, but you may have to accept the fact that sex is not in the cards for you right now. You might be surprised that once you take that pressure off yourself, your drive starts to come back.
karma 123	Re: Lack or low sex drive from meth - is this normal? thanks.... thats sorta what my head had been telling me... that I am simply not ready and to just accept it! have been using drugs / alcohol on and off since age 15... i am now 28... only recently clean to meth though, this year, it has been hard but much anticipated. love being clean, and although i miss my porn like sex.... hopefully that girl can one day come out again while i am clean and sober... wonder if thats possible?! I am sure it is...! anything is possible if you put your mind to it
Venus Jones 69	Re: Lack or low sex drive from meth - is this normal? Karma, Porn- girl will definitely return!! It takes time but I promise you she's still lurking - just taking a well-deserved break!! She was always on call when you were using - she must be exhausted. (:
karma 123	Re: Lack or low sex drive from meth - is this normal? i guess i want porn girl back cause i feel so damn insecure now.... i also think that may have alot to do with it... you know, sex for the first time with someone, totally straight. worried about bumping heads, hitting teeth while kissing, all those bad things....! it just isn't meth sex. i guess i was also extremely comfortable with my old partner as well... now it's a new person, (that i like), no drugs.... and you wanna impress and all i got is me... little old me... but this time i am not meth-ed up to the clouds. scary stuff. simply rather not do it and deal with it.... i think thats what I am doing...? who knows! more i think about it the more i think i realise what and why I am doing it.... whole point of my post i guess! oh yeah, forgot to mention, no problems with masturbating so i guess i still have sex drive... think it is the confidence i have lost?