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My Daughter's an Addict


Lucky
UGotIt
My Daughter's an Addict
I just found out 2 days ago my 18 year old daughter is addicted to meth. Lucky for us she confided in a family friend that she needed help and the friend told us immediately. Needless to say I'm heart broken but want to do everything I can to help her.

As soon as we found out we picked her up from her apartment and we currently have her on total lock down. Someone is staying with her 24/7. I have gone through everything she brought with her and have restricted her visitors to 3 friends who I know don't use, under the condition that they come to my home and she is not allowed to leave with them.

I've spent the last two days searching for information on this ungodly drug. Being a Mom, I didn't even know what meth looked liked. I just feel so stupid now. All the signs were right in front of my face and I had conversations with her about every one them...Why is your face breaking out like that? Why do you sleep for 12 or 14 hours straight when you come over? What's on your clothes you smell? Even took her to the doctor for a mystery rash that just won't seem to go away.

She has always been over weight and had self esteem issues. So apparently this was her perfect drug it helped her with both, the weight and self esteem. She started a diet about 6 months ago and was doing very well, she had dropped 30 pounds then the diet thing started to slow down and a friend told her she should try meth it would really make the weight come off, so she gave it try...And the weight did come off, she's lost another 30 pounds over the last 3 months. Being stupid about it I was excited for her and thought she had just finally made up her mind that she was going to do it this time. She told me she has only been using for 3 months, which when I look back at the signs that's when I started noticing the things I mentioned, so I think she's telling me the truth.

I'm just wondering how bad this is going to be. She was using for 3 months and told me she was buying about 3/4 of a gram every other day that she was smoking. I don't have a clue to know if this is alot. Are her chances alot better since it's only been 3 months? Of course I was paying for every bit of it because I just put her money for school and her living expenses in an account for her and she wasn't paying for any of that, she was buying meth with it. I am still allowing her use of her cell phone, internet and the access to 3 friends. Is this too much not enough, I don't want her to run away because I really think she wants help but I want to do everything I can right now to try to stop it.

Thanks to all for any info you can give me. I've needed to do this since I found this site but was just having a very hard time even typing in 'my daughter is an addict'.
     Replies...
eyes
open83
Re: My Daughter's an Addict
hello and welcome, im glad you found us...i dont really have a lot of information for you from a loved ones point of view, i am a recovering addict myself..
but from what i have heard you are handling this very well...
i am living with my parents at the moment, i home detoxed here and they were really good about it, they didnt set any rules on me, bar one, dont use...
it was my choice to get clean and that i did, this site and the internet saved me, dont take that away from her..for the first 3 weeks i was here all day everyday....
when it comes down to it, if she really wants to get clean, she will, and if she doesnt truely want this she wont regardless of what rules you put in place...
so i will be praying for you and your daughter in the hope that she truely wants this...
might i suggest you encourage her to come and say hello. it was talking to other addicts that really made me want to stay clean, maybe it will have the same effect on her
angie
Ncali
Re: My Daughter's an Addict
I think it is good that you set these rules. Just as long as she understand that they are being set because you want to help her and Not because you think she is a bad person. That is VERY IMPORTANT. We usually have this idea of oursleve as being these bad people ... I think the rules might be a good way to keep her willingness in check.

If she REALLY wants to be sober she'll abide by the rules ... structure is good for her until her head clears enough.

Check into finding some meetings for her.

my prayers are with you all.
pcejp Re: My Daughter's an Addict
My heart breaks for you and, trust me, you are not alone. I am the mom of a 17 year old recovering meth addict. She is someone relatives would tell me that they hoped their daughter grew up to be as nice as her and hoped that they had the relationship with their daughter as the two of us had.

Please, don't beat yourself up for not seeing the signs. In the beginning they were so subtle and addicts are great at covering up their addiction. As far as her usage in the beginning she minimized it. My daughter was losing weight and I attributed it to cheerleading practice. She had white splotches on her face and I attributed it to the suntanning bed. As far as how much your daughter was using, I can't help you regarding amounts. As much as my daughter knew she needed help as she couldn't stop on her own, she still didn't want to give it up. My daughter used for five months and I know she tells me it isn't the length of time, but the miles.

Keep in mind you didn't cause this, can't control it, and you can't cure it. You can be her support and encouragement. Learn everything you can about this drug. I never thought I would be so education on meth, but it has helped me get through this past year and understand that her drastic change in her personality was the drug use, and not her.

Luckily for us, she is a minor and went to intensive treatment for 30 days and then directly to a halfway house for 90 days. She had a lot of self esteem issues and low self worth areas that were worked on during treatment. As of right now, she has 7 months drug free. She attends NA or CMA meetings weekly. Another thing I have learned is that her maintaining her sobriety is totally in her hands. But she knows that I support her 100% and constantly praise her for how proud I am of her remaining drug free.

Best of luck to you and your daughter and remember you are not alone. But there is hope. Is she willing to go to outpatient or inpatient treatment?

If you need anymore information, please feel free to PM me.
lily Re: My Daughter's an Addict
I remember finding out about my brothers addiction and concentrating on HOW, WHEN and WHY it happened rather than trying to focus on the NOW and how I was going to help him.

I found the kci chat room and asked a million questions, and over a year later, I'm still asking the odd question.

My point is this, keep educating yourself about this drug because meth addiction is deep, and the more u know, as sad and frustrating as the information may be, in the long run, it will help u help her.

Having said that, even after all the support, love and warm care u provide her with, remember that the decision to not use again lies in HER hands.

A relapse, if it does happen, is in no way your fault.

When u feel comfortable with her leaving your house again,
keep her occupied with other interests, in the company of good, non-using, trustworthy friends.

Hopefully, she will slowly re-build a clean life with the loving support of her family.

And most importantly, dont forget about your well being. The effect that meth addiction has on loved ones can be treacherous and heart-breaking.

The site below helped me alot:

www.sfjaye.freewebspace.com/

The chat room may also help. There are people who visit there who are in the same position as u.

www.kci.org/meth_info/chat_room/chat_room.htm

Good luck and keep in touch.
Spiritual
warfare
Re: My Daughter's an Addict
I work with teenagers in recovery and you have made a good first step. Her most apparent problem may be the meth addiction, but drugs are just a symptom of the problem. Its kind of like if you have high blood pressure and you go to the doctor for some help. The doctor gives you some medication to lower your blood pressure and that appears to solve the situation. What caused the high blood pressure to begin with? Same with any addiction. If she is willing get her involved in some 12-step meetings or seek some professional help. There are alot of options out there for someone who wants help with there addiction. The first step is always asking for it.
forget
suzette
Re: My Daughter's an Addict
hello, I'm an 22 year meth addict.

she'll soon become depressed.
..... if the speed really took root, she'll want to return to it....
...........especially when she gains the weight back.

You must explain that the meth distracts you while the part of her that wants to use..gets much bigger, until you can't recieve pleasure naturally.
....it eats your dopamine and steals you from yourself.

you gotta tell her, that the weight is'nt as important as
mental disorders aquired from prolonged speed usage.

it's a material, unanimated, piece of material waste, that took my life.

....it DOES matter, every time you stay awake, and see shadows and hear whispers..it's taking your well being from you, blinding you with false well being.

....it urge will be damn near irrisitible, you need to tell
her if she chooses meth, that's what she'll get, and plenty, but NOTHING else.
....no home, education, dreams, relationships, peace, career
those things take TIME ...and speed gets all your time if you let it.
fast.

I want to die now, it burned me up.

if she gets more speed
.....speed will get more of her.

hold on tight my friend.
.....watch her closely.
keep coming here, and educating your daughter.

....she might need other speed freaks to talk to, that helps.
I mean us *smiles* recovering speed freaks,
......we'd be privledged, and honored, to tell her all about what meth REALLY does.
....we're really here to prove it.
le
grumps
Re: My Daughter's an Addict
Hi Lucky,

Glad you found us. I am a recovering meth addict, and there is a lot in your story that struck a familar cord with me.

First, I want to say that it's a really positive sign that your daughter fessed up to someone that she needed help after only 3 months of using. Because now that you know, there is no turning back. She can't play the denial card on you. You are not finding out about this years into it.

Man, I can really relate to the whole weight thing. Many addicts get a real head trip when people start making all these excited comments about how "good we look" because we are shedding weight like crazy. Don't beat yourself up for it, it's just natural in this day and age. I think that a big part of your daughter's getting well is having some kind of counseling or therapy to help her deal with her self-esteem issues.

Meth, once you start doing it, awakens this beast inside that is relentless. It won't leave you alone. There is a LOT of work that goes into escaping it.

This site, as well as Sfj's site was instrumental in my realizing that I could stop using meth, and that recovery is possible.

It's been a year since I've used meth. I have had many slip-up's, mistakes, and to this day I still struggle with staying away from other drugs and alcohol. But I've exposed the beast, and my secret will never be safe again.

Perhaps your daughter would be intersted in coming to this site?

It sounds like you are being really supportive and loving to your daughter, and that is really important. Often times addicts have a lot of shame and self-pity when they emerge.

Ok I am rambling. In a nutshell, welcome.
meth
mom
Re: My Daughter's an Addict
We found our daughter's pipe around the middle of last year and her needle around xmas. We took her to a treatment out of our state and she has been there around 4 months. We don't know if we are doing the right thing but she is only 16 and we don't have much time till she turns 18. Any advice.
Lucky
UGotIt
Re: My Daughter's an Addict
Thanks guys for all the info. I'm going to try and get her going on this site today. She tried to quit before and her friends ended up turning their backs on her. One of her big fears is that her Dad and I are going to do the same when it gets tough, but we've tried to explain we're here for her 110%. I try to talk to her about it but I can't help her with things like...I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin, I'm dreaming of doing meth, or how she can't seem to make up her mind about anything and she's already worried about gaining weight.

Thanks again, I'm sure I'll have lots more questions.
scared
mom
Re: My Daughter's an Addict
methmom...

To me it sounds as if you have done a good thing. 
I sincerely hope the rehab will help your daughter and she will come back to you clean and happy.
djmom
11
Re: My Daughter's an Addict
Wow - these stories are always so sad. Reminds me of when I first found out my daughter was using. It is good to set boundares - set the rules - have expectations - and have consequences for not following the expectations. It is hard when they quit, not easy, I didn't think my daughter would ever leave the house. She didn't want to run into her user friends. She gained weight and hated that, and all those emotions numbed by meth came flooding back. It was almost too much for her to deal with - but she did it.

Methmom - treatment is a good idea, especially now when she is young - how is it going?
meth
mom
Re: My Daughter's an Addict
Thank you for comments. I must confess I never went to message boards or chat rooms until this happened. We think she is doing ok, but not sure. We talk to her once a week thru therapy but we won't see her till summer. We are scared. She says she was taking care of it and won't admit to us that she has a problem. She went from cocaine to smoking meth to injecting it a couple times. That's when we caught her.

See also:

Daughter is Using Meth

In denial about my daughter's use of drugs


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