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Ever given permission to your loved one to use meth?


Nyte
Passion
Have you ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?

I have been wondering about something ... and so now, I'm just gonna ask ...

Those of you that have addicted loved ones ... have you ever knowingly given money to the addict in your life to pay for their habit ... have you ever looked at them and felt so bad for them that you actually said ... why don't you go pick up a bag ... go ahead .. get high ... and even though you knew you shouldn't give a heads up for them to use ... you just wanted them to feel better and to be happy ..and the only time their happy is when their high ... so just to have a somewhat of a good day .. you gave your approval for them to pick up a bag and use .. spent the day with them .. knowing they were high ... yet getting along fine with them?

Just curious ...

I'll admit ... In the beginning I sometimes let Scotty get high even though I would rather he wouldn't have ... Scotty and I had used together when I was out in La La Land too ... but once I got clean I never used with him again ... however like I said in the beginning of my recovery ...

             I gave my okay for him to get high and be around me ... and it makes me sick to my stomach to think I did that ... Even though I know that he didn't need my okay and would have used whether I wanted him to or not, but I surely feel bad for co-signing his behavior ...

Whew, glad I got that out ... I didn't realize how poison to me that really was ... Yes, folks I find I have guilt ...
     Replies...
khbird Re: Have you ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
I have told Jim that if he had the urge to do the meth that to do it at home..so I know he is alright and is safe from doing wrong. I am not crazy about it..but Jim won't he just lies to me and said he don't have the urge, than later takes off in the car for a day or two. comes back strong out. I do not use drugs or never have so I really don't know why they have to take off to do the drugs and stay gone..unless he is ashame about it. who knows..
Naiev
Newlywed
Re: Have you ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
Yes I did.

So he would stay and wouldn't leave me.

He left anyway when we couldn't afford the amounts he wanted.
imlostinky Re: Have you ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
Yes.

Way back when we first got married, I used to buy him alcohol so he would get drunk.
It was the only time he would open up and talk- really talk.

Then there were times when I was working I would buy his pot.
Pot to me was the lesser of the evils- he never got crazy on pot like he did when he was drunk.

Then there I was 20 years later, ok'ing his buy of crank.
Tried to bargain- tried to say ok as long as you aren't doing it behind my back.I so hated his lying to me and other people knowing more about my husband than I did.
Lasted all of that first hit he took off that foil.
Then the next day after I lived up to my end of the bargain, I told him it was time to go our seperate ways- he wouldn't live without it, I can't live with it.

He's still here - clean-er but not recovered or in recovery.
I'm still here because it hasn't gotten bad enough for me to leave.
Stalemate.
Naiev
Newlywed
Re: Have you ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
That's how I started..."Ok, you can only do it here when I'm with you, and you can only smoke it, not shoot it."

That lasted about 1 1/2 weeks before he started not coming home for a day or two, and then would have the little bruises on his arms.

HA! I was a fool!
unwise Re: Have you ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
Pot yes but never meth.
draftmolly Re: Have you ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
Long ago in a previous life I ok'd a beloved's use of alcohol and pot because I thought it was wrong to try and change someone. I knew if I didn't like his use *I* needed to make the decision to shut up or leave but not to change him. I realized that in my acceptance of his use I had been the one to change, compromising my own core values and I dispised both of us because of that.

Now, I refuse to have drugs or alcohol in my life...period and when my husband told me he was using that was it for me... zero tolerance!
blueheart Re: Have you ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
No, but I've seen mothers do it on "Intervention" twice now.
blondie Re: Have you ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
HI
"Yes" When I was married (he is know my ex) I would make sure all the bills were paid with the money that I made, that way I knew that he had enough money for his drugs. He was always in a much better mood high on meth, anyways until he started comming down.
DeeDee Re: Have you ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
HELL NO! I would never ever do that. However it's my son I am talking about. I do not have a husband who is an addict it's our son. But in all honesty I wouldn't be with my husband if he used. But you can't divorce your child.
I guess it's easy for me to say that because I'm not in a situation with a husband who uses. But I would never ever give money to my son and contribute to his habit. That would say "I approve" and I do not approve of his drug habit and the hell it has caused this family.
MJBAJK Re: Have you ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
No I didn't. I wasn't given a choice, didn't find out about the use until it and he had already destroyed our relationship. But I do know I wouldn't have okayed it. Ironically, we had a conversation about meth at the start of our relationship. We had both had friends die from using and I told him I would never be in a relationship with someone using meth, it scared the hell out of me even though I didn't know much about it. He said he would never use it either (he was using at the time)I found out 7 years later when the violence and hallucinations started.

At the same time, maybe a part of me did "okay" his using, as I saw a couple of signs a year or so earlier, weight loss, low appetite, sleeping less, and asked him if he was using "something funny" He denied it and I chose to believe him.

Rachel
sue76
Re: Have you ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
In answer to your question. No. The only time I ever said " Go get high then!" was in anger Not real proud of that but it is true I do not intentionally do things that I know would hurt him and I expect the same in return. I personally could not live with myself if I encouraged his addiction like that.
forget
suzette
Re: Have you ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
my mom said there were times when she knew I wanted the money for speed when I'd call her from vegas to ask her for cash,
...sometimes she said she gave it to me thinking I would get in less trouble if she did.
...like she gave it to keep me from stealing, dealing, or prostitution is a pretty big one for vegas too.
I did'nt go that far.

I knew that she knew, I was lying,
.... and she knew, I knew, she knew I was lying
...she said it was like this game she had to play to keep me on the phone, that I had slective hearing and ignored some of her questions and she let it go just to hear my voice.

I was a very bad girl. *sighs*
loverofa
meth
addict
Re: Have you ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
This is a GREAT POST.
No, I can't stay I Ok'ed the use. In my case I (do/did) not leave with my loved one. He would become pissy and I knew he want me to leave. I knew what he was ging to do when I walked out of his house, but could not stop him. In the beginning he would not use around me. Then the time came where I would not leave. So he had no choice, but to hide in his own home to use. My thought process if he OD's I wanted to be there to take him to the hospital. I would call it enabling, not condoning. I think he had to go down his own road to recovery. THE 3 C's. I can't take the blame. And he does not blame. I would of done anything to stay with him, even when he was using..SICK THINKING. I am proud to say he has his 1 year birthday on OCT. 4..I love you man..LOAMA
loveman
hatemeth
Re: Have you ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
My addict was "nicer" when he smoked pot. It eased the pain of the meth hell for me. I know it sounds horid, but its true
Tender
Heart77

 
Re: Have you ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
Yes....I gave money for POT. But for me pot vs meth...I thought in my head worse of the two...I would rather him smoke POT than do METH...
Nana44 Re: Have you ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
I let son drink at the house, sometimes even bought his brand of beer. I guess that is contributing just as much as giving him money for meth. Somehow I didn't see the connection - that an addict needs something to be addicted to.

Still learning
XOutlaw
Woman
Re: Have you ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
I used with both of my ex-husbands. I used with boyfriends. I used with my other friends. I guess by the sheer act of using it with them, I was condoning the behavior.

See also:

Effects on the Family and loved Ones from Crystal Meth Topics


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