Nyte
Passion |
Have you
ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
I have
been wondering about something ... and so now, I'm just gonna ask
...
Those of you that have addicted loved ones ... have you ever
knowingly given money to the addict in your life to pay for
their habit ... have you ever looked at them and felt so bad
for them that you actually said ... why don't you go pick up
a bag ... go ahead .. get high ... and even though you knew
you shouldn't give a heads up for them to use ... you just
wanted them to feel better and to be happy ..and the only time their happy is when their high ... so
just to have a somewhat of a good day .. you gave your approval for
them to pick up a bag and use .. spent the day with them .. knowing
they were high ... yet getting along fine with them?
Just curious ...
I'll admit ... In the beginning I sometimes let Scotty get high even
though I would rather he wouldn't have ... Scotty and I had used
together when I was out in La La Land too ... but once I got clean I
never used with him again ... however like I said in the beginning
of my recovery ... |
|
I gave my okay for him to get high and be around
me ... and it makes me sick to my stomach to think I did that ...
Even though I know that he didn't need my okay and would have used
whether I wanted him to or not, but I surely feel bad for co-signing
his behavior ...
Whew, glad I got that out ... I didn't realize how poison to me that
really was ... Yes, folks I find I have guilt ... |
| Replies... |
| khbird |
Re: Have you
ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
I have
told Jim that if he had the urge to do the meth that to do it at
home..so I know he is alright and is safe from doing wrong. I am not
crazy about it..but Jim won't he just lies to me and said he don't
have the urge, than later takes off in the car for a day or two.
comes back strong out. I do not use drugs or never have so I really
don't know why they have to take off to do the drugs and stay
gone..unless he is ashame about it. who knows.. |
Naiev
Newlywed |
Re: Have you
ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
Yes I
did.
So he would stay and wouldn't leave me.
He left anyway when we couldn't afford the amounts he wanted. |
| imlostinky |
Re: Have you
ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
Yes.
Way back when we first got married, I used to buy him alcohol so he
would get drunk.
It was the only time he would open up and talk- really talk.
Then there were times when I was working I would buy his pot.
Pot to me was the lesser of the evils- he never got crazy on pot
like he did when he was drunk.
Then there I was 20 years later, ok'ing his buy of crank.
Tried to bargain- tried to say ok as long as you aren't doing it
behind my back.I so hated his lying to me and other people knowing
more about my husband than I did.
Lasted all of that first hit he took off that foil.
Then the next day after I lived up to my end of the bargain, I told
him it was time to go our seperate ways- he wouldn't live without
it, I can't live with it.
He's still here - clean-er but not recovered or in recovery.
I'm still here because it hasn't gotten bad enough for me to leave.
Stalemate. |
Naiev
Newlywed |
Re: Have you
ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
That's
how I started..."Ok, you can only do it here when I'm with you, and
you can only smoke it, not shoot it."
That lasted about 1 1/2 weeks before he started not coming home for
a day or two, and then would have the little bruises on his arms.
HA! I was a fool! |
| unwise |
Re: Have you
ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
Pot yes
but never meth. |
| draftmolly |
Re: Have you
ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
Long ago
in a previous life I ok'd a beloved's use of alcohol and pot because
I thought it was wrong to try and change someone. I knew if I didn't
like his use *I* needed to make the decision to shut up or leave but
not to change him. I realized that in my acceptance of his use I had
been the one to change, compromising my own core values and I
dispised both of us because of that.
Now, I refuse to have drugs or alcohol in my life...period and when
my husband told me he was using that was it for me... zero
tolerance! |
| blueheart |
Re: Have you
ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
No, but
I've seen mothers do it on "Intervention" twice now. |
| blondie |
Re: Have you
ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
HI
"Yes" When I was married (he is know my ex) I would make sure all
the bills were paid with the money that I made, that way I knew that
he had enough money for his drugs. He was always in a much better
mood high on meth, anyways until he started comming down. |
| DeeDee |
Re: Have you
ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
HELL NO!
I would never ever do that. However it's my son I am talking about.
I do not have a husband who is an addict it's our son. But in all
honesty I wouldn't be with my husband if he used. But you can't
divorce your child.
I guess it's easy for me to say that because I'm not in a situation
with a husband who uses. But I would never ever give money to my son
and contribute to his habit. That would say "I approve" and I do not
approve of his drug habit and the hell it has caused this family.
|
| MJBAJK |
Re: Have you
ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
No I
didn't. I wasn't given a choice, didn't find out about the use until
it and he had already destroyed our relationship. But I do know I
wouldn't have okayed it. Ironically, we had a conversation about
meth at the start of our relationship. We had both had friends die
from using and I told him I would never be in a relationship with
someone using meth, it scared the hell out of me even though I
didn't know much about it. He said he would never use it either (he
was using at the time)I found out 7 years later when the violence
and hallucinations started.
At the same time, maybe a part of me did "okay" his using, as I saw
a couple of signs a year or so earlier, weight loss, low appetite,
sleeping less, and asked him if he was using "something funny" He
denied it and I chose to believe him.
|
Rachel
sue76 |
Re: Have you
ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
In
answer to your question. No. The only time I ever said " Go get high
then!" was in anger Not real proud of that but it is true I do not
intentionally do things that I know would hurt him and I expect the
same in return. I personally could not live with myself if I
encouraged his addiction like that. |
forget
suzette |
Re: Have you
ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
my mom
said there were times when she knew I wanted the money for speed
when I'd call her from vegas to ask her for cash,
...sometimes she said she gave it to me thinking I would get in less
trouble if she did.
...like she gave it to keep me from stealing, dealing, or
prostitution is a pretty big one for vegas too.
I did'nt go that far.
I knew that she knew, I was lying,
.... and she knew, I knew, she knew I was lying
...she said it was like this game she had to play to keep me on the
phone, that I had slective hearing and ignored some of her questions
and she let it go just to hear my voice.
I was a very bad girl. *sighs* |
loverofa
meth
addict |
Re: Have you
ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
This is
a GREAT POST.
No, I can't stay I Ok'ed the use. In my case I (do/did) not leave
with my loved one. He would become pissy and I knew he want me to
leave. I knew what he was ging to do when I walked out of his house,
but could not stop him. In the beginning he would not use around me.
Then the time came where I would not leave. So he had no choice, but
to hide in his own home to use. My thought process if he OD's I
wanted to be there to take him to the hospital. I would call it
enabling, not condoning. I think he had to go down his own road to
recovery. THE 3 C's. I can't take the blame. And he does not blame.
I would of done anything to stay with him, even when he was
using..SICK THINKING. I am proud to say he has his 1 year birthday
on OCT. 4..I love you man..LOAMA |
loveman
hatemeth |
Re: Have you
ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
My
addict was "nicer" when he smoked pot. It eased the pain of the meth
hell for me. I know it sounds horid, but its true |
Tender
Heart77
|
Re: Have you
ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
Yes....I
gave money for POT. But for me pot vs meth...I thought in my head
worse of the two...I would rather him smoke POT than do METH... |
| Nana44 |
Re: Have you
ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
I let
son drink at the house, sometimes even bought his brand of beer. I
guess that is contributing just as much as giving him money for
meth. Somehow I didn't see the connection - that an addict needs
something to be addicted to.
Still learning |
XOutlaw
Woman |
Re: Have you
ever ok'ed your addicted loved ones use?
I used
with both of my ex-husbands. I used with boyfriends. I used with my
other friends. I guess by the sheer act of using it with them, I was
condoning the behavior. |
