Meth withdrawal symptoms: Do I have them all?

here goes. I guess I'm just a glutton for punishment!

I read a lot of posts on this board (and others) from people who have detoxed from meth. Most, but not all, of the posters experience the big three withdrawal symptoms: tiredness/sleeping for days, hunger/overeating, and depression/the blues. Some people have more symptoms; hardly anyone has less.

However, I seem to experience EVERY SINGLE detox/withdrawal symptom in the PAWS dictionary, and then some. Physically, I cramp, I ache, I get horrible headaches. Mentally and emotionally, I range from crying uncontrollably and seriously arranging for my own death to severe violence (not ever directed in any other way than smashing things in my house, kicking down doors, and physically hurting myself, never anyone else. It's obviously self-hate in action here).

Does anyone have any idea why my withdrawals seem so severe? Is it because I'm old (49), I have pre-existing probs (auto-immune disease, etc.), or I'm just plain lucky?

This is part of the reason I have such a hard time with pat answers to quitting. The same answer doesn't work for everyone....we're not all "generic" addicts, as Ma so well-expresses it. We may all be addicted to meth, so we all share that in common, but we're all unique and have just as many or more dissimilarities.

Anyway, back to the original question. Why do ya'll think I suffer with so many freakin' symptoms?

Thanks. And, please, be nice. I'm fragile right now.

I am so glad you are posting again...yeaapie

Withdrawls fuc ing hurt. Are you drinking fluids, doing some sort of exercising and most importantly don't be so focused on labeling all your moods swings, just acknowledge the changes. These are good signs ya know...feelings. The thing I am realizing is that everything isnt going to be fixed with a pill, as wise Pen told me. When I starting taking my meds, I was like ok when is life going to be alot better. Meds are helping me a little, but I have work that I must put into it also, ALOT!
Like not stuffing sugar in my body, exercising, relaxing and learning to be PATIENT. When you are so use to instant false gratifications, you can convince yourself that you should be instantly healed when you decide to stop using.
Why is everyone else not changing because we have changed. The world doesn't work this way, but boy it would be nice Take it slow Lisa, your doing great and are right on track. Re paitence is a virtue

by the way 49 is hot, your not old...115 is fuc ing old

Hon, you already know my opinions on this. Each of us is unique from our mental and emtional abilities and disabilities to our physiology. What changes that have occurred in all of ourselves, every cell and every thought have much to do with where we are, what we have done, where we have been and what genes we inherit.

Something that at this moment comes to mind, I read it long ago...a young man, his first day in his internship was told the creedo of "First do no harm."

I like that philosophy First do no harm.

Lisa, I know your fragil, take a deep breath. Sometimes we need to stop and just breathe, .....

I have been there and I had terrible terrible with drawl!!! Than I slept for about three weeks waking up only to attend a meeting or eat, somewhere I fit some showers in there I think

Hang in there and I promise it gets better. Do you know the serenty prayer? SOmetimes it helps.


God, grant me the serenty to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

We love you and I promise your not alone!!!

Did you feel that? ((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))

I just hugged you and wispered in your ear "Its gonna be ok"

You're right. I wanna feel better NOW! I don't wanna go through the pain and suffering of withdrawals. I guess I DO need to be more patient...I HATE THIS, THOUGH!

As far as my age goes, everything is relative, I guess! I guess I just feel old...about 149 instead of 49. But of course alot of that's my owned damned fault.

Thanx for the thumbs-up, girl.

Hi Lisa. I have an idea why your withdrawls might be more severe than others: have you considered the possibility that you are entering into menopause? I ask this because I am also 49, and although I've been clean for many years, this menopause thing is kicking my a**!!

Mood swings galore, hot flashes, night sweats, irritability, anxiety, depression, and more. I have been on anti-depressants for quite a few years now (started taking them after I got clean), but a year or so ago the dr. changed my prescription to an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication because of the symptoms associated with menopause.

Sorry sweetheart, but that might be what is aggravating your withdrawl symptoms. Blood tests will determine if you are in peri-menopause.

Whatever you do, don't give up! Just hang in there. Even menopause doesn't last forever.

Ma,
You already know what I'm goin' through.....you have more insight in your pinky than all the doctors I've seen through the years.

You'll be getting an email today (for a change, huh?)

I had every one of those problems and more. I'm older than you also. I think that one of the primary things that saved me from getting any worse was that I was in excellent health in the first place. My point is that your overall health makes a huge difference in recovery. Young people are naturally healthier and therefore they usually recover more quickly and more easily.

After eighteen months of being clean, I finally took up jogging again and that by itself was more helpful than any medication could ever hope to be.

I'm also careful about what I eat. (most of the time)

Red beans and rice, cereal, fruits, and vegetables make up the biggest part of my what I eat. Get lottsa sleep, and drink plenty of water.

These are my opinions but they seem to work for me.
Share with us, the things that you have found helpful.

Lisa, age could be playing a part. On top of the detox, you have the hormonal changes going.
No , 49 isn't old but it is the age range where our bodies do go through changes- much like puberty only we are smarter.
Think of all the emotions of being a teenager, of being pregnant- now put them in reverse.
It will play a part.
The difference is at 49 you know what to expect somewhat.
You know the whys- somewhat.
I have always said your best weapon is your head- use your head.Think things through - talk them through.

I have not done meth in a lot of years but this past year has been hell to put it mildly.The depression- the worst.
I did not leave my room for days- honestly days.
That is just the hormone crap- no withdrawals from anything.

I never had any problems until this past year.
PMS is a word in everybody's vocabulary at my house.
I get through that by recognizing when the nails come out and the hairs stand up and that low gutteral growl arises.
This is all new to me- I did not have these issues as a teen.
I have learned to control my words, control my actions, walk away when I am not fit for viewing.

Aches and pains- yes. That is where the exercise and stretching helps.Use it or lose it.
Definitely stretching.

Another thing Lisa, for the tiredness, there are just those days when I have to take a nap. Most days though if I eat healthy - do my peanut butter and honey toast for breakfast
- take my vitamins, I do muddle through okay.

nineyearsclean,

Yes, I've thought about menopause. I've thought about it ALOT. I had some blood tests taken fairly recently (about 3-4 months ago) and they indicated that I haven't even started pre-menopause yet!!!! With a very few exceptions, I'm still as regular as clockwork, and that, together with the tests that showed nada, the docs won't prescribe anything or even take it into consideration (at least until they can "prove" I've moved into that lovely time of life).

I KNOW, as a thinking person, that 49 is a prime age for menopausal symptoms. I certainly have what could be considered menopausal symptoms. But, until I start skipping periods or something shows up in a blood test, I'll just have to keep that in mind, because no one's gonna do anything for me medically.

But, it IS something to keep in mind.

Lisa,
Talk to your doctor, perhaps he/she can give you something to ease you thru all the withdrawals. Best of luck.

I couldnt stand meetings at first, I sat in the back and I hated everyone. I wouldnt even let people hug me. I hated all people would have panic attacks, my legg would bounce, I would rock back and forth...but I kept going and every time I went I would hear just little things that eventually saved my life.

Its normal to feel like you dont belong there...but trust me...you do.

It just might save your life as well.

Hi T,
Thanks for responding...
Well, I must be weird, but when I'm using, I don't experience one single symptom of menopause, old age, PMS, etc. Now, I'm NOT advocating using, because obviously, I'm trying my damnest to be clean. But IN ME, AND I CAN'T SPEAK FOR ANYONE ELSE, meth must mask these symptoms really well. I'm personable, functioning, feel fine, etc. I've never reached bottom as far as my addiction. The only reason I have for quitting is Jordan. I can't live with the guilt of being a using mom.

So, I guess it stands to reason that since meth masks all these horrible symptoms so beautifully, when I stop, they attack me full throttle and it sends me into a tailspin. Why can't I have "normal-hideous" withdrawals? Why do I have to have "super-over-the-top-stick-a-knife-in my-heart-to-stop-this" withdrawals?

Poor, poor me. Pity party in swing here.

Actually, the Adderall is helping me. For the past two days, I haven't felt like killing myself. So when I posted here last week and asked for some tips from people to maybe "help" me through withdrawals, why didn't anyone tell me about Adderall? (I heard about it from Ma, Bless Her Sainted Heart). I realize Adderall is not a magic pill, and it's not for everyone, and in the end, it can turn into just another addiction, but if it helps me not to harm myself while going through my hell-withdrawals, who cares?

I'm sorry, T - I'm not upset with you. Do I sound it? It's just that this is the first day I'm actually functioning in some kind of low-level way.

Yes Ma did post and yes, I did agree - I am so glad the adderall is helping.And no I don't care if it is addicting- I guess I should. I'm just glad it is helping and most glad you are still amongst us.

Lisa, I don't have a lot of experience with medications.All I know of Adderall is the 2 children I have seen the difference in - they are ADD or ADHD.Much improved with them Lisa- much improved.
All I know of Paxil is my sister was prescribed it when she went through rehab for the nightmares she had while going through withdrawals.
Lisa, I don't know what all she went through physically. She doesn't talk about it and I don't push her.
I know she doesn't take the Paxil now because she doesn't like the way it drugs her.
She doesn't like to feel drugged.

Neither do I.

I know when I first quit meth years ago, I took the L-Tyrosine - I had seen it on a discovery program and tried it.
It did help.
I know this past summer when I started at the greenhouse, I took L-Tyrosine.I love it -
but after my hospitalization for kidney problems, I won't take it.
I'm not sure if there was a connection - I just can't risk it.
Another bout may mean dialysis.I just can't risk it.
I sure do miss the L Tyrosine- I did feel so good when I was taking them.Not wired, not hyped, just good.

As to why you feel better with meth, maybe because you are so focused on other things that you don't see or feel these other aches and pains.Could it really be as simple as changing your focus?I don't know.
Or it may be meth does have some medicinal value- I don't know.
Too many unknowns with meth - you don't know what all is in it, the cut , or anything else.
Can't really do an experiment with a substance that is always changing batch to batch.

It took a long time to do the damage we have done to ourselves.It only stands to reason it will take time to undo.
It's a lot harder for me to bounce back at 43 than at 23.
That's for sure.

We all reach a bottom when we get clean, it doesnt always have to be a financial bottom. It could be an emotional, spitirual or even guilt riddled bottom. Our bottom is when we put the shovel down...sure you still have things to loose...you were just fortunate enough to stop digging.

Quote:

Actually, the Adderall is helping me. For the past two days, I haven't felt like killing myself. So when I posted here last week and asked for some tips from people to maybe "help" me through withdrawals, why didn't anyone tell me about Adderall?

Adderall isn't an anti-depresant. It's an ampehtamine. It is for treatment of ADD and ADHD.

If you look at the list of side effects possible from Adderall, it will probably look extremely familiar. They are basically the same as meth.

Adderall stimulates the central nervous system by increasing the amount of dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain.

Quote:

I know when I first quit meth years ago, I took the L-Tyrosine - I had seen it on a discovery program and tried it.

Tyrosine is a pre-cursor to dopamine. This means your body can make dopamine out of it. Recovering meth addicts definately need to make more dopamine.

Phenylalanine and Tyrosine are the only two things your body can make dopamine out of. And to get it, you either need to eat it in proteins (animal proteins are higher in content than plant proteins) or take a supplement, like you did.

Lisa, I love you girl. I know you are waiting for some words of wisdom from me... and the ONLY thing that has really helped me - well, 2 things - is:

1. STAY CLEAN. Suck it up, grin and bear it, and stay the course. I'm just like you - I wanted to feel healthy YESTERDAY when I first quit... and then after 6 months clean, and then after a year... every day it got incrementally better... but it has been slow coming.

2. Wellbutrin. Wellbutrin hasn't cured the fatigue by any measure, but at least I can now keep up with working, parenting, and have recently gone back to school. I had every symptom of depression EXCEPT the sadness - that truly hasn't been a factor for me, anyway.

I'm going to be brutally honest with you now, my friend.

I'm coming up on 43 years old now, and I got clean when I was 41 (My 43rd belly button birthday comes 8 days before my 2 year clean birthday, January 10th and 18th, respectively.) I don't know if it is my age, if it is the sheer volume and period of time that I used (Age 14 till age 41...) anyway - here's the brutally honest part...

Lisa, I STILL don't feel like I think I should with this much time clean. I feel pretty wrecked a lot of the time. I didn't start Wellbutrin for the 1st year of being clean because a doctor suggested that to me. After the first 4 months, I was able to work, but that's ALL. My house fell apart, I had no energy, and I was barely hangin on. After a year, I was seriously worried that I had permanently damaged something. Today, I am being checked over like an old buick at an auto auction to figure out what the hell is wrong with me (By my doctor - a new doctor - a really awesome doctor!)

Now, listen - in the first month clean I had an accident and fell 10 feet on my head onto a cement block, finishing the fall with a 4x4 post right between the shoulder blades - that slowed me down for a couple of months. Then, 3 months later, I got diagnosed with TB, and had to take these really f-ed up meds for 9 months after that. I started the wellbutrin a few months later - felt a lot better, but not 100% by any means. Today, I have recently been diagnosed with spinal stenosis of the neck with further tests pending on my lower back... so there really ARE things going on with me that are probably not related to meth use. With all of that stuff considered, compared to how I felt at 6 months clean, I feel a HELL OF A LOT BETTER NOW!

I think the folks who are reccomending exercise are on to something - I tried it - thats how I decided to get a new doctor when I realized I CAN'T DO IT (Stupid Spine!) I think the folks who recommend good nutrition are onto something - I recently expanded my diet to include more fresh stuff, less fat, and daily B vitamins, a multivitamin, and some vitamin C - it seems to be helping with the energy deficit. However, I just took a 2 hour nap after sleeping 8 hours last night - and that is the norm for me, I sleep a lot, still.

I guess what I could have said in fewer paragraphs is this - be patient. It sucks, but you just have no choice. Take care of your health - meth robs us of our mental and physical health, and we have to be vigilant about how we treat ourselves when we get clean. Regarding Adderall, it is an amphetamine so there is no wonder why it would make you feel better! If it is working for you, and if you are not abusing it (You can abuse it every bit as easily as you can meth,) then do what you gotta do.

I'm always going to root for you, Lisa. I wish you lived closer to me. For some reason, I wish I could take you under my wing more than most.

When I first started having symptoms of pre-menopause, they took bloods tests that came back normal.

But when the symptoms persisted, I went back for more blood tests, probably only 4-6 months after the first tests, and they indicated pre-menopause.

So don't wait too long before you get tested again. You're definitely at the right age. If you smoke, your chances of starting menopause at a younger age increase drastically. That's probably why I started at 47.

I sure hope it gets easier for you. I know my first few months were very, very hard. I just wanted to bury my head under my covers and not come out for days, because I was afraid that if I did, I'd use again. IT WILL GET EASIER, SO PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP.

Keep talking to us, we'll all get you through it somehow.

Two things that I find are necessary to recovery:

First: It is more important to look at the similarities between yourself and other addicts, otherwise you will always find a reason why you are different and can't quit. My addiction is worse, my addiction isn't as bad. I am older, I am younger. My brain is messed up, etc. That is negative thinking, it will only lead to further abuse. The more helpful approach is: I am just like all of these people who sucked it up and quit. They are no better than me. If they can do it, I know that I can do it. I am sick of seeing all of these other addicts like me overcome their addiction while I stay mired in mine. I don't care how painful, I will overcome...

Second: We cannot do $hit alone. We need others. When you feel depressed and isolated, you will tend to choose to self-medicate. It is better to be around other people who understand you and can help you with what you are going through. You will not gain that personal contact through a message board. That personal friendship only comes through going to meetings and sharing with other addicts like yourself. If you chose to avoid being around others and chose to do it on your own, you are setting yourself up for failure.

Sorry for the post if it seems harsh, but it is only the truth.

xblues,
YOUR truth. I've found there's not only one truth. There can be many different answers to the same question, or no answers at all. And just like no two snowflakes are alike, no two people are alike as well. We may have 50,000 similarities, and only one difference. But that difference can be all it takes to, well, make us DIFFERENT.

You may be right. Meetings may be the only way for me. I've tried going, and I found meetings to feed my shyness and introvertedness (?) to a point of wanting to leave the meetings and go shoot-up. (And I've never shot-up meth in my life).

So if they are the only way, I'll have to find that out by exploring all the other avenues that have been found to help. I'm still open to them in the future....but no one will ever dissuade me from believing there's more than one truth.