Looking for a Crystal Meth replacement

trying
to
function

Crystal Meth to me is what coffee used to be...

I posted before, saying how I stopped using crystal to get high, besides the fact its not the same, an how I simply need it to get by. I stopped for a week here, and there, but its past that point now. i cannot afford to spend the next 2-3 weeks in bed. the physical withdrawal is what stops me from quitting. I know it affected me mentally. I dislike people before I meet them, had a social life involving being out every night to not caring if I just stay home and smoke. besides that, I've been doing some really productive @#%$ within the last few months that blew my mind. I was smart in high school, but dropped out, got a 1275 on my s.a.t., and took home a ged. I've pretty much been a burnout musician since then. within the last few months, I tested it, no joke, my IQ raised 11 points. I never worked out a day in my life, now I'm doing 100-150 push ups a day. I read 300 page books, on an offline. I smoke 1/4 gram a day, everyday, just to get out of bed, otherwise that's my new home where no productiveness will come out of me. when I did coke here and there, drank, took ecstasy, I was an addict to my parents and the world. I'm hitting a pipe, now I speak clearly, intelligently, and have an enormous vocabulary. I mean what the "@#%$". shouldn't I been dumbing down? now depression was something I always had, whether or not I do all of these strange but good habits or not, isn't my main concern. I would rather be depressed and energetic then depressed and sleeping all day. another weird thing....I used to have colds and flu's all the time, all year round. since the day I started to smoke 8 months ago, not sick one day? BASICALLY, SORRY FOR THE ESSAY....BUT IF THERE WAS A SUBSTITUTE, PILL, VITAMIN, ANYTHING TO AVOID THE 2-3 WEEKS OF BEING IN BED, DEAD TO THE WORLD, I WOULD QUIT TOMORROW! I CANT AFFORD TO GIVE UP 2-3 WEEKS, I'LL LOOSE EVERYTHING, NO MONEY, NO PAYING BILLS, AND RAISING QUESTIONS I REFUSE TO ANSWER. I KNOW COMING TO AN ABUSE BOARD ASKING FOR A SUBSTITUTE WONT GET ME AN ANSWER, BUT IT WILL GET ME TO QUIT. I DON'T CARE HOW UNHAPPY I AM WITH LIFE, I WILL STILL BE PRODUCTIVE! LIFE SUCKED BEFORE METH, AND WILL AFTER...ALL YOU CAN DO IS LIVE AND TRY YOUR BEST, AND THAT'S WHAT'S HOLDING ME BACK FROM STOPPING THIS 8 MONTH NIGHTMARE.

Replies...

recovering
freak

Re: Crystal Meth to me is what coffee used to be...

Hey i guess withdrawal or crashing after meth is normal.
I don't think there are any substitutes except METH itself.

Quote:
I CANT AFFORD TO GIVE UP 2-3 WEEKS, I'LL LOOSE EVERYTHING, NO MONEY, NO PAYING BILLS, AND RAISING QUESTIONS I REFUSE TO ANSWER

If you can't afford that 2-3 weeks I guess you're not ready to stop.
You'll still lose everything eventually and maybe you'll end up losing your life.
Nothing can stop you if you're ready to quit, just like all the recovering addicts on this board, we went through sh*t to quit and stay clean. No easy way out!
Get yourself ready to quit and more support and help will be on your way.

eyes
open83

Re: Crystal Meth to me is what coffee used to be...

Quote:
I cannot afford to spend the next 2-3

perhaps you will re-evaluate what you can afford when you OD or lose your sanity completely, perhaps it will take loosing everything you own or any sense of being alive you have left before you re-evaluate...there will be a turning point in your use when it just cant go on, and you will not need a substitute, the only substitute you will need is the desire to live a healthy life and not die...

i hope that time comes soon..i hope you loose what ever it is you need to loose for you to stop real soon...

death or life, there's no substitute that's just the way it is, if that sounds like bullshit to you now, it will make sense one day...

trying
to
function'

Re: Crystal Meth to me is what coffee used to be...

I appreciate your advice, and I have lost what was most important to me, actually a few things, and none were meth related. I mean there's only so much I can say on this board, but bottom line is....I get paid everyday. I owe bills, people, and have something that could change my life hanging over my head that could be a dream come true. unfortunately, it could be today, tomorrow, in an hour, or in a year. 2 weeks secluded, not being able to move, I'll either loose my dream, or my life when I cant pay the people I owe (not meth debts), besides my apartment and everything else. I took ecstasy religiously for 3 years, and dropped it like I tried it once and hated it. coke for 2 years, the same, xanex, etc. I have a strong mind, but its my body that can't fight the exhaustion. I tried, and I never experienced a withdrawal (and I had my fair share of them) where I was awake for maybe 10 hours in 7 days. when I say substitute, I mean, coffee, no doze, some @#%$ I don't know about, some kind of energy booster to get me going. as long as I'm busy, and didn't smoke that day, and keep myself around people who did know that watch me like a hawk, I'm good. only reason I gave in every time (3 times) was after sleeping away a week, I set myself back on important things I cant make-up. life didn't please me then, I dealt with it, it doesn't please me now even worse because of this, but I hit rock bottom before. life probably won't please me after meth is over, but I will still go about my business, regardless if I'm unhappy or not. all I ask is, what can I take to keep me functioning, I find the right answer, my next post will be 7 days clean, life isn't too much better, but I AM FUNCTIONING WITH THE REST OF THE WORLD

imlost
inky

Re: Crystal Meth to me is what coffee used to be...

Hi Tryingtofunction

Quote:
had a social life involving being out every night to not caring if I just stay home and smoke.

Awww, the joys of meth- isolation.
Who needs anybody? after we got this pipe here- don't need anybody or anything, just that pipe.

Quote:

besides that, I've been doing some really productive @#%$ within the last few months that blew my mind

Oh your mind has been blown, I don't doubt that.
But I don't think it's the productive sh!t you have been doing.

Sorry guy, but I have seen the "productive" sh!t that gets done on meth- it sure didn't impress me any.
Not in myself after I quit.
and not in my husband when he picked back up.

I'd be willing to bet you put that pipe down and clear your mind, you will experience the same sickening feeling we did -on how we could ever have thought anything we were doing while stoked up on meth was productive.

So now that you haven't impressed me with what you are doing that is so great on meth, maybe I can have better luck impressing you on what you are missing out on.

Connecting.
There is absolutely no one you connect with- the only bond you feel is with the pipe.

Self respect- yeah I know , you are 11 points smarter on meth, I heard you.
But can you look yourself in the mirror and say Damn, you are someone to be very proud of?

Life.
You are missing out on life. Every single day you are running through a mile a minute and not seeing a thing.

Now I could go on more - but I'd be willing to bet I have pissed you off in sentence #1 and by now you have long since tuned me out.

But cool off, come back, read again- and just think.
Ask yourself these questions-

When is the last time you saw , really saw a sunrise? a sunset?

When is the last time you walked barefoot in the grass?

When is the last time you looked someone in the eyes and saw pure love coming back to you?

When is the last time you really liked yourself?

I bet it has been a real long time. Too long.

You can quit- the withdrawals will suck. But you just take it one day at a time.
Trust me, when you get clean, when your mind clears, you will be glad we said this to you.

Now a healthy diet can make all the difference in the world when withdrawing.
Stock up on some protein rich food- you will need it.
Get you some fruits and veggies- juices.
That will help.

Go to the GNC center, pick up some L-Tyrosine. It is an amino acid- it helped me through the foggy mind when I quit all those years ago.

and get you a program. and outpatient treatment. Something.
You will need all the support you can get, a cheering section to help you hang in there.

and please keep coming back. We are proof there is life after meth and we do recover.

You can beat this - you really can.

trying
to
function

Re: Crystal Meth to me is what coffee used to be...

You are right, I did read the first few lines an get pissed, but one thing I've learned is take advice from someone who walked that path. You are wrong about some things though. I appreciate sunrises, sunsets. as much anger and as much as I've isolated myself, I still will never put my emotion for the good aspects of life away. if anything, I actually started to appreciate things like that more, and wish I didn't have to smoke to get out of bed to witness it. as far as walking through the grass barefoot, that wasn't me even before I did my first drug. as far as self respect, I had one of those "meth" dreams the other night, and after that, I realized I do have respect for myself in a strange way, but I do. look, I'm not saying meth made me Einstein and I must follow this path forever, but I do know what I'm capable of. my goal is to be clean and still continue the projects I completed, the ones I didn't, and the ones I want to. that's the test. I'm willing to deal with every part of the withdrawal except for the fatigue.

Rancid1

Re: Crystal Meth to me is what coffee used to be...

Quote:

I'm willing to deal with every part of the withdrawal except for the fatigue.

I remember the feeling man. I remember when I wanted to quit so badly but I didn't because I had things to do.

I remember how I felt as things got worse. I remember loosing my job because I overdosed on meth at work in order to stay awake. I remember the voices in my head that scared me clean.

Things can always get worse. You DO still have things that you cherish greatly that you WILL loose if you continue to use.

There are reasons that you feel smarter, stronger, happier, more competent on meth. That is what it is supposed to do. It also has a few side effects. Like it makes you weaker, dumber, depressed, and incompetent.

Take it from those of us that used for many years and finally found the strength to quit. You will have to deal with the withdrawals. That is a fact of your life right now. Keep doing what you're doing, and I can promise you things will only get worse.

green
brier

Re: Crystal Meth to me is what coffee used to be...

I thought for years that if I didn't have meth I couldn't function. It was the first thing I wanted when I started my day. All I can say is Thank God, I don't have to rely on anything to get me going anymore. Good luck with your addiction, when your ready for some help, it will be there all you got to do is ask. Really, you can live without it!

Lisa

Re: Crystal Meth to me is what coffee used to be...

Hi trying,

I know EXACTLY what you're talking about - exactly.

I functioned VERY well on meth - I always completed my projects, I took pride in my appearance, I took terrific care of my son.

When I stopped, I went through a nightmare of withdrawals. I, too, had things to do. Important things, like running a household and paying bills.

The withdrawals were so bad, so intense, I ended up relapsing three times after the first month or two. Finally, on the fourth time, I'm getting it right. I'll have five months clean tomorrow.

Anyway, here's a tip that'll probably save you from at least SOME of the horrors of withdrawals: Go to American Mythology (it's run by Suzie - if you read this board at all I'm sure you know who she is). She has a method (which I've since forgotten) of cutting down on the amount of meth you do by eating it in capsules. I wish I would have tried that - it seems safe and makes perfect sense.

Can anyone here link trying to AM? I don't know how.

Just register, introduce yourself, and ask how to get off meth. Suz will come to the rescue, I guarantee it.

IT CAN BE DONE, But It Ain't Fun.

Rachel
sue76

Re: Crystal Meth to me is what coffee used to be...

Suz's site
Here is the link that Lisa wanted you to go and visit. You should come on over and check it out.

recovering
freak

Re: Crystal Meth to me is what coffee used to be...

Quote:
I realized I do have respect for myself in a strange way

In a strange way? How strange can it be when you need meth to function?
withdrawal=fatigue, fatigue=withdrawal.. simple? No easy way out!
One day you'll understand what we are talking about when you're clean .
All I can say is STOP before its too late.

Loraura

Re: Crystal Meth to me is what coffee used to be...

When you're done being terminally unique let me know.

You fully believe that you are different from all the other meth addicts in the world. And that thought, right there, will keep you a meth addict.

If you want to know exactly what you are doing to your brain, and why every time you use meth, you are making the withdrawals worse, and the exhaustion phase take LONGER

Meth
Phobia

Re: Crystal Meth to me is what coffee used to be...

Dear Tryingtofunction...

I think you would probably get pissed off at what I am about to say but I am just going to give you my humble opinion straight up...

Firstly, just a gentle reminder that the people who have responded to you have been addicts (or have dealt with addicts) WAY longer than your 8 month stint - not that I'm trying to say that this makes them superior to you in any sense but they have gone through a lot more shyt because of that and they KNOW exactly what they are talking about.

From what I read so far, it doesn't seem that you're ready to quit - in fact, you're either still in denial or trying damn hard to rationalize using meth and nothing you're saying makes much sense to a non-addict like me - I would like to believe that a meth-free head can definitely think better than a meth-filled one.

Quote:

I get paid everyday. I owe bills, people, and have something that could change my life hanging over my head that could be a dream come true

Paying bills and getting paid is a way of life that most of us goes through and if you want to keep on paying your bills then you need to stop now. Before every single dollar from your pocket goes straight to the dealer. Meth addiction is progressive and you're headed no where and to a dead end...and I mean literally DEAD!

If you are all that you said you are - smart, high IQ etc etc then I suggest you best stop now before it's too late. You might find yourself even smarter after getting clean.

The only consolation I feel now is that you've come here and you've posted. That's a good sign to me...so use it to your advantage. The people here added together would probably have hundreds of years of experience so its your loss if you want to let this opportunity pass you by...

Drop your ego and be humble...and bite the bullet to save yourself.

Lisa

Re: Crystal Meth to me is what coffee used to be...

Hey Guys...No offense, but if I were getting' these types of replies when I first posted, I'd still be using!

How 'bout some understanding and compassion? Not everyone responds positively to "tough love". Not to say we should sugar-coat it, but telling people what's wrong with them, that they're not ready to stop, etc. isn't always the way to help.

I remember the compassion Danimal, Just Ol Ma, Penelope, T, and so many others showed me, and continued to show me while I worked my way to five months clean. If anyone had replied to me the way you guys are doing here, I would have packed my bags, taken my dope and disappeared pronto.

Just something to think about. Sometimes a little understanding goes a long way.

danimal
55

Re: Crystal Meth to me is what coffee used to be...

At NA last night we were informed that 2 addicts who had been to our meetings are dead, and another had one toke to many and is in Eastern State mental hospital, crazier that shyt....he simply "snapped" suddenly. These peeps thought they were "functioning" just fine.
Prepare to crash. or die. One thing is worse than quitting, and that's continuing to use.
Many of us DID lose it all, more than once.
We do understand, so be here DAILY and we'll do our best to help you out of this insane slavery.
We can do it, you can do it. But you need help, and you'll get it here. Guaranteed.
No there's no magic wand or magic words that make it easy, but the support here can make it do-able.
Just keep showing up...we'll be right here when you need us.
No matter what

Loraura

Re: Crystal Meth to me is what coffee used to be...

Quote:
If anyone had replied to me the way you guys are doing here, I would have packed my bags, taken my dope and disappeared pronto.

Someone who wants to keep using will FIND a reason to do just that. Blaming us for it is their choice and their problem, not ours.

The wonderful thing about this board is that there are many different people, with different styles who will respond.

If you remember, Lisa, you weren't real happy with me when I responded to you when you were earlier in your recovery.

And I understand why you felt that way.

But neither you nor I had to change for our relationship to turn friendly. Only the meth had to go!

I'm glad that there are people here who are very good at showing compasion and understanding. They are needed.

trying
tofunction

Re: Crystal Meth to me is what coffee used to be...

well everyone is right and not so right....

Quote:
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If anyone had replied to me the way you guys are doing here, I would have packed my bags, taken my dope and disappeared pronto.
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I mean I never seen responses like this on this board. now I've been a meth addict for 8 hard months (everyday), but I've had 8-9 years in other drug experience, I know what it can do to you. and I don't feel I'm unique, I seen like 50 posts on this board off all of these other people doing some of the strange activities I thought never existed but to me. my best from is the only other user of meth I know, everyone else smokes weed everyday, or coke on weekends. and he acts the same way I do. it programs ours brains while screwing us up. I just woke up, I slept from right after my last post until now, I could smoke, but I'm not, I'm probably going to go back to sleep cause I could barely f**kin move. I mean I don't want a meth pill, is there some vitamin or caffeine related anything I could use in the mornings for at least the first few days until it lets up? I'm going to be in bed all night unless I smoke, but I would flush the last away right now if a cup of coffee would keep me going. although we at one point shared a mind state from the using behavior, we all do have different minds and motives. if you told me right now that a 2 triple espresso coffee will give me the energy to get up, shower, get dressed, get in my car, and continue my day I send you an email with a picture of me crushing my pipe and flushing the meth, I know how my mind works, have I had the urge to drive my car off a bridge and didn't understand why? yes? and things were going good around me, but not in my head. I see the anger right away, I never fought people, I always grew up with older, more intimidating people who handled it for me, which never happened to often. its finally hit me after I hit someone! I never had a fight in my life, I've had 3 in 8 months, 2 of which with people twice my size, it took away my fear. now what's this, so far you've been taking my quotes "out of text", so I'm following that with this statement "forget about the fear part, I'm not happy I was able to do that and did. I'm not looking for street fights, and having some fear is a part of life, without it, is dangerous to yourself and others, so I'm not glorying the fact that I'm a thug gangster now, I'm saying its not me to be so angry that I'm taking it out on people I could've easily said @#%$ off too, or what's up, instead of that evil I hate you tweeker look" that you understand I'm sure. I mean besides all of, I've been worse, so I do know the mental side effects, but if I'm kept busy I'm busy, like I won't give myself a chance to let it get the best of me, I just need some sort of boost, I know I'm going to be going through withdrawal, but I need something I could use like coffee, etc, that will get me out of my house and ready for whatever, whether I fall asleep out there, feel unhappy, whatever, I'm out there, and being outside after a good nights sleep, in the summertime, running around Manhattan working, meth will be deader then disco.

ecstasy was slowly screwing up my flow or pattern of life.
quit it...no desire to touch it for years
alcohol, I was bad, especially with coke, they're like bread and butter
I stopped that because it was screwing up my way of life, my nose, and I was always skinny and tall, 6 ft, 130lbs. after coke and liquor for 2-3 years, I was 118lbs I'm a meth addict, I'm 140lbs, and it is screwing up my life because I can't start the day without that boost. I stopped the up for 3-4days, sleep for 3-4. I sleep every night. but if I cant get up without that boost, then it is screwing up my way of life....
see a pattern, I know its time to quit.

maybe I need a beautiful girl to drag me out of bed everyday, especially one who went through this before, 20-30 maybe?

Rancid1

Re: Crystal Meth to me is what coffee used to be...

That's the thing man. There isn't a substitute. Nothing that I know of will make you feel like getting out of bed for the first 2 weeks.

lax2

Re: Crystal Meth to me is what coffee used to be...

quit meth now or pay later