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Swap meth addiction for alcohol?


sickids
gurl

Swap meth addiction for alcohol?


My husband and I are trying to both get clean from meth because we both realize how damaging and horrific the effects can be.
Here is my question though. My husband seems to think that we should be able to still drink every once in a while seems how neither of us have ever had a problem with alcohol. Last night we went to a barbeque at my sister in laws house and he drank a few with her husband. Which I got sort of upset about. I wouldn't kiss him or make love to him last night because I was so angry. Was I wrong for being so hateful towards him.
I feel that it has to be all or nothing. I guess that's just how I am. But, he is afraid if he jumps into the deep end without wading first he'll drown. In other words, is it ok when you are beginning your recovery to stop one thing at a time and progress to full recovery later being free of all substances?
I am soooooooo scared this is going to destroy the happiness we share in our relationship and divorce is not an option, because we both come from families of divorce and are committed to breaking the cycle! Should I make a compromise and see if he slowly lets go of it all or should I give him an ultimatum to stop everything NOW!???

     Replies...
imlost
inky
Re: Swap meth addiction for alcohol?
It isn't your recovery to work- it is his.
All you can do is fix you.

I will say though as a voice of experience, be very cautious jumping into another substance. It is too easy to substitute addictions- and it is way too easy to use alcohol to run from life.
My husband has been on a cycle of something for all of his adult life.
What began as alcoholism went to meth went to pot went back to meth went back to booze.
If nothing changes then you can bet nothing will change.

I find for me the best way is head on, clean mind leads to clean living. Garbage in, garbage out.
It is hard sometimes but for me, it really is the best way.

It isn't for you to control. All you can do is voice your opinion. Ultimately, it is his choice -
I hope he chooses wisely.
Alcohol sucks
mtgl
7771
Re: Swap meth addiction for alcohol?
I agree. I had no idea that my husband was substituting different substances for his relief. Etoh, pot, cocaine, loratab, etoh, finally meth and that took him down. But if he didn't have one available he would do the other. They taught my husband that in recovery that one drink will set off your brain into reacting so if it doesn't stop with one or two drinks then it can eventually lead to other things. My husband knows that to stay clean and sober he can never drink again. (and like you said he has never had "a problem with alcohol")
Penel0pe Re: Swap meth addiction for alcohol?
ETOH... someone's been working in the medical field!!

I agree - work your program - take care of your own recovery.

For me, getting loaded on anything doesn't work out, so beer would constitute a relapse in my program. Different people have different opinions on this subject.

For me personally, beer would be a ticket back to the baggie, I am sure of that. Been there, done that!
Indiana
shedevil
Re: Swap meth addiction for alcohol?
sickidsgurl

Through personal experience, if you give an ultimatum then please be prepared to follow through with it. I learned that the addict will not take ultimatums seriously. They view them as empty threats.

Also, they will resent you for trying to control them. If you want the addict to "wake up and smell the coffee" then try working on your own stuff. Take the focus off of him so he can't use your actions as an excuse to use.

This can be very effective. Especially if he can't blame you for his issues. He can then only accept responsibility for his own actions.
forget
suzette
Re: Swap meth addiction for alcohol?
I would say yeah, sure, have a beer.
....I don't like booze, so I can have it if I want it. I just don't want it.
since I'm not counting the days in between beers.
.....and I could care less when that opportunity presents itself.....it's a preference.

HOWEVER.

....If I DO have that drink. I gotta MAKE SURE I can't get to any speed.

booze lowers inhibitions.
.....I call it the "WTF drug" because whatever you shouldn't be doing becomes WTF! lets do it.

so there you have it.

good luck.
sickids
gurl
Re: Swap meth addiction for alcohol?
Thanks ya'll. I guess there are a lot of different opinions out there. Tonight I asked him ( not ordered ) him to please not drink at least for tonight, he agreed not to. And tomorrow i will ask him again. I think he understands how important this is to US, not just me not just him but us as a married couple.
I do agree though about focusing more on my own addiction then his. But, as a married couple for either of us to succeed it will be easier if both of us have the same plan to reach our goals as a couple. I will talk more to him about this tomorrow. Thanks all, but I still am not sure exactly what to say when I do approach him with the subject...??
vctry7 Re: Swap meth addiction for alcohol?
I am not an alcoholic, but my husband is. Therefore, through the years I never drank because he couldn't. I told him I would not live with a drunk. My parents were drunks, my first husband was a drunk. So, he did not drink. He knew I would leave in a millisecond. Mind you, this was before meth. We smoked pot, which kept us in the drug lifestyle, which led to meth. We both got hooked on meth.

I do not drink now for 2 reasons instead of just 1. I know that if I drank it would lead back to meth eventually, because it lowers my inhibitions. Also, it just doesn't fit with our drug and alcohol free life.
danimal
55
Re: Swap meth addiction for alcohol?
Like meth addiction, alcoholism can be very "damaging and horrific", sit in on a few AA meetings if you have any doubts. If that doesn't convince you, have a look at some brain scan images, you'll find some striking similarities in regards to brain damage.
It's thee biggest killer by far.
Substituting one drug for another is only inviting more disaster, especially for "recovering" meth addicts.
IMO a successful relationship filled with happiness is contingent upon clarity of mind and freedom from all mind altering chemicals, esp. for two recovering meth addicts!
By the time we have become meth addicts we've pretty well demonstrated how responsible we are with any mind altering substance, can we honestly declare that alcohol will be any different?
Alcohol severely retards the healing process, if it doesn't squelch it entirely, & we do have a LOT of healing to do.
Booze has tells my brain..."wrong drug, do meth now!"
NOT a risk I'm willing to take, and if my car will run on it...I don't think I should be drinking it. 
"WTF drug" describes it nicely, so does "a ticket back to the bag"...very likely a one way ticket.
As with meth, alcohol IS cunning, baffling and powerful, and it is a VERY progressive, insidious disease.

This X-mas will be 2 yrs. alcohol free, and I've never felt better in my life.

As far as any ultimatums go, make some for yourself, he's a big boy, and like most men, he will do what he wants...when he wants.

Wishing you both clarity of mind and long, happy life together...substance free!
Loraura Re: Swap meth addiction for alcohol?
Replacing one compulsion with another is like changing seats on the Titanic.
Indiana
shedevil
Re: Swap meth addiction for alcohol?

Quote:


Replacing one compulsion with another is like changing seats on the Titanic.

I love it!
I have a question... Does this include food as a compulsion also?

Loraura Re: Swap meth addiction for alcohol?
I'd say ABSOLUTELY.
Using food is not a healthy way to cope.
Food CAN absolutely be used as a drug.
Indiana
shedevil
Re: Swap meth addiction for alcohol?
Hmm...
So if the "recovering" addict is abstaining from "drugs" but is stuffing his face and comfort eating... He has managed to gain 70 pounds since last July... He still lies and displays his old behaviors...
Is he truly in recovery or just abstaining?

Oh well... Not my issue to figure out. Thanks for the info.
eyes
open83
Re: Swap meth addiction for alcohol?
i have an analogy for this question....
think of drinking like driving..
think of using meth like flying..
how many times do you think you would get in the car and drive across country...before you said, hey, why don't we just fly...it will get you to the same place a lot quicker...WHY DRIVE WHEN YOU CAN FLY....

if you don't want to get loaded anymore, my advice, don't get loaded, on any mind or mood altering substance because ultimately one will end up leading back to the other...
Jamie
J1979
Re: Swap meth addiction for alcohol?
I don't drink because whenever I get drunk I crave a stimulant like speed or cocaine. Then after I use the upper I feel like I want to come down so I end up using heroin. Then I'm back to square one--using heroin and uppers again. It took awhile for me to realize this but now I'm very aware of why I cannot drink.
kmb
2006
Re: Swap meth addiction for alcohol?
Alcohol is as deadly as anything else. If you don't believe me, I've got a jar full of ashes sitting on my bookshelf that proves otherwise. I call them "Mommy."

The disease of alcoholism killed my Mom on April 28, 2005.
nine
years
clean
Re: Swap meth addiction for alcohol?
I've said it before, in fact earlier today in another thread, and I'll say it again:

STEP AWAY FROM THE ALCOHOL.

Listen, it's your husband's recovery, like Theresa says, and yours is your own.

But I will tell you from first hand experience that all alcohol did for me early in my recovery was lead me right back, and I mean I did a beeline to the dope man.

My drug of choice was not and is not alcohol. It is speed. Plain and simple. And when I caught a buzz off the beer, I wanted my drug of choice worse. The desire was too strong for me to resist.

Luckily, on the day I tried the "I'll have a beer instead of a line" theory, I was in Port Angeles, Washington, where I went to get clean, and I knew no dope men. But I tried to find one, that's for sure. I tried and tried and tried, but to no avail.

Then I went home and slept off the beer, and I knew the next day when I woke up that I couldn't drink and stay clean. PERIOD.

Had I been in the town that I used in for 13 years, I would probably still be spun today. Odds are, I would still be out there.

So, my best advice is don't go there. If your husband were here, I'd tell him the same thing. Recovery is hard enough without adding alcohol and everything that comes with it, like relapse, into the mix.
still
catest
Re: Swap meth addiction for alcohol?
I never had a problem with booze, either. I actually didn't LIKE to drink. I thought I was just a meth addict, that alcohol would have no affect on my recovery.

Even if my brain doesn't prefer alcohol, I found that my addiction will take ANYTHING that makes me feel different, and will take it to excess.

So I don't like the flavor of alcohol? Simple - I just did shots...I'd do a lot of them and do them as fast as I could so I could get good and buzzed as fast as possible, without getting sickened by drinking a full glass of whatever.

And yeah...it's the "WTF drug".

I really like what Grumps told me when I asked how alcohol affects my brain's healing from meth use. She said:

"It's like watching paint dry in the rain." Totally.

Once we awaken the monster (our addiction), we are vulnerable to ANYTHING, chemical or not chemical, that makes us feel better or different. That's what I'm told, anyway.

I hope he ditches the booze. It's just as evil as meth.
nine
years
clean
Re: Swap meth addiction for alcohol?
Quote:
"It's like watching paint dry in the rain."

Grumpy is full of wisdom.
I never heard that before.
Excellent response.

Grandpa
Don
A drug is a drug is a drug
I was an alcoholic at the age of 15, the booze led me to pot, the pot to cocaine the cocaine to lsd the lsd to heroin and the heroin to meth. After 23 years of addiction and wallowing in vomit and dirt, I began to wonder if I would have turned out the way I did if I would have never taken that first drink of beer.
I hear that alcohol is the number one destroyer, home wrecker and addiction. I hear that alcoholism is the number one killer. Yea it's legal, but so is abortion, legalism doesn't make things right.
I remember throwing up more alcohol vomit than any other drug including Meth.
After 19-years I have not had an urge to drink or use but if I did, alcohol would want to get me back first.
My advice, Leave it ALL alone, get high on each other, you do not need anything else. A beer will split you apart, I Promise!

See also:

Recovery vs. Abstaining in reducing meth cravings

Does changing the environment help in quitting meth?

To the addict who still suffers

Meth addict or drug addict? What's the difference?


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