KCI The Anti_Meth Site

My son is a meth addict...help!

Gem48	My Son is a Meth Addict...HELP!!! Hi All, My son just had his 33rd birthday and he is a methamphetamine addict. He used meth in the past and got off for a few years. He started back a year or so ago using periodically. He is now using at least a few times a week both cocaine and meth. He has all the bad habits and/or behaviors of a meth addict. In addition, he is bipolar which exacerbates his problems. He is actively paranoid and psychotic (people following him, people in the walls, everyone conspiring against him, etc.). When he was 25 I tricked him into committing himself. That is when the bipolar was diagnosed and he was placed on meds to help him manage the mood swings. However, he refuses to acknowledge his mental issues and refuses to take the prescribed medications. Instead he insists to this day that what he sees and experiences with people is real and the rest of us are against him. He is quickly walking a path of self-destruction and I fear for his future. My question? If you were I, what would / could you do to help him?
Replies...
dark fairy420	Re: My Son is a Meth Addict...HELP!!! welcome to the board. hopefully you will find peace and knowledge here. also hopefully others will be along soon that can help you more. first off let me say you can not and will not help him. he has to help himself. you can support him and tell him you love him dearly but he needs to get the help all by himself. if he doesn't think he has a problem or doesn't want to quit there is nothing you can do. i know its sad and as a mom you want to help and protect your children. but right now you need to "let go and let god" you are only going to emotionally drain yourself if you take this into your hands. trust me I'm going through the same thing with my ex husband whom I love dearly. hopefully your son wants help and you can push him in the right direction. I'm sorry for your situation. my thoughts and prayers are with you. I know its scary and it hurts. but this board has helped me a lot by just understanding what am addict feels and also hearing about others loved ones. I've been told that it does get easier. so lets hope that it does.
sdm sanjose	Re: My Son is a Meth Addict...HELP!!! *Quote:* My question? If you were I, what would/could you do to help him? There are people that will tell you that you can do nothing. I do not believe that. I believe that you can do something if God is involved and the timing is right. The hard part is waiting and recognizing the right timing. Prayer is a must but sometimes so is action. The reason I believe that is because of the experience we had with my Niece. If there is no other way and it is available, facilitate some kind of force. My niece was like your son and the family got the Psychiatrist (thanks to God) to give an order to take her in by force. The crises team chased her and grabbed her and took her to an IP treatment facility for 75 days. She could not even leave the building. For several weeks she blamed everyone else then she said in a low voice "I have let my children down". After IP treatment she was monitored for 1.5 years and she utilized NA and Church. She got her 3 children back and now has a car and a 3-bedroom home. She is now 2.5 years clean and is very family oriented for the first time in 15 years. She is now completing some computer courses at the community College. We never thought she would recover this much. I would also look into the justice system. Does he have any warrants? Here in Southern Arizona we have success with Drug Court. Some people think that force does not help but I have seen it help. IMO force does not change a person's will but it can help that person lean in the direction of changing their will. In my niece's case she was unable to help herself for the last several years of her 15 year addiction and the forced treatment was instrumental in her recovery and the restoration of her family and freedom from 'the nightmare' When a loved one realizes that 'He is quickly walking a path of self-destruction and I fear for his future' What do you have to loose by trying force?
Loraura	Re: My Son is a Meth Addict...HELP!!! Cocaine works in a similar manner as meth, the main difference is that it takes much LESS time for the body to break it down (thus a much shorter high) and it does not block the re-uptake of dopamine, so it doesn't cause the same level of long term chemical imbalance that meth does.
Gem48	Re: My Son is a Meth Addict...HELP!!! I thank all of you for your words of wisdom. I read all the information I found on this message board and it is what motivated me to join and post my question. I fully understand the level of addiction with which my son is dealing. My problem is getting him to understand it. He is in total denial as he is wasting away. I agree that I cannot do this for him. When this started I was told over and over again by doctors, treatment facilities, etc. that he is an adult and that I cannot do anything until he wants to do something. I accept this reality, but I also find it impossible to stand by and watch my only child slowly kill himself. I did manage to trick him into treatment, but that ploy won't work again. I don't know if there is a drug court, but I will look into this possibility. I certainly don't feel that at this point I have anything to lose and I will try anything. I was told by a drug counselor that I must let him hit "rock bottom" before he will seriously accept treatment options. I just keep wondering when that will happen. My heart aches for him and the pain of watching him and doing nothing is unbearable. When I look at him I see the baby I loved and nurtured and I don't understand how we got to this place. He hides everything from me, but his friends let me know the truth because they have been his friends since he was 11 and they do love and care about him. I was thinking about an intervention. His friends and his lovely girlfriend of five years are all pulling away, but he has replaced them with his "drug" friends and does not seem to realize or does not want to realize what he is losing. Do any of you have any experience with formal intervention procedures and/or results?
Loraura	Re: My Son is a Meth Addict...HELP!!! *Quote:* My problem is getting him to understand it. Unfortunately, I know of no way to accomplish this with an active addict. And even if they do understand exactly what they are doing to their brains, they are still COMPELLED to use. Compulsion doesn't require a person's approval and agreement before action takes place. I hope he comes to the conclusion that he should stop, and that seeking help would be the best thing to do, as soon as possible. In the meantime, take care of YOU.
luve piphany	Re: My Son is a Meth Addict...HELP!!! Gem48, you might pick up a Hazelden Guidebook called Love First- A new approach to Intervention for Alcoholism and Drug Addiction by Jeff Jay and Debra Jay. It gives a clear and understandable guide to intervention and all that it entails-good and bad as well as instructions on how to put it together yourself. The book is comforting even if the loved ones are not going to do an intervention. I found the book to be hope filled and it gave me some "permission" to love the addict as an addict. Prayer is very powerful! The trick is letting go and letting God love the addict and His will- will be done. God bless ya
Gem48	Re: My Son is a Meth Addict...HELP!!! Again thanks. I will order the book today. I appreciate everyone's help and ideas. One additional piece of information about my son. He is very religious and one of his "excuses" for using meth, etc. is that he believes we are coming to the end of the world (the rapture) so he uses that as an excuse in a variety of ways. He thinks it does not matter what he does. We have all talked to him about his body being God's temple, etc., but nothing works. Any ideas or arguments to counter his using God to justify his actions would be appreciated. I keep telling him that God loves him and would never condone his behavior. Thanks again...
vctry7	Re: My Son is a Meth Addict...HELP!!! Gem, I think you should have him read "Meth = Sorcery" by Steve Box. I believed as long as I said I was saved that I could do anything and I would still go to heaven. I don't think that is true, now. I can't quote scripture, but I know somewhere in the Bible Jesus says if you really love him you will keep his commandments. I am not trying to start a religious debate. Just sharing my views and giving my best advice. My other favorite book is "Meth - They Call it Ice" by Dr. Mary Holley. It has alot of Christianity in it.
grhank	Re: My Son is a Meth Addict...HELP!!! So is mine. Actually I have three sons. Two have done time. One of them is currently back in as he chose Drug Court. The other after nearly a year out has decided to try living that rotten life that nearly ruined is future. Maybe he doesn't see one. I sometimes also have said the same thing. They do have to want to help themselves. but I have never stopped trying no matter how hopeless it has seemed at times. The feeling of helplessness and despair will seem more horrific sometime than others. You do need support. So many times I have visited this site if only not to feel so alone. It's not like we all have friends, family or co-workers who are going through the same thing and know what you're going through. Whether you find a support group or just a forum like this. talk to others. That at least gives you the ability to get it off your chest. I have been struggling with this evil in my life for over 7 yrs now. Some one asked me recently how it is I know not to give up. I didn't know any other answer except that I see hope still and I can't give up on my children. My heart goes out to you and what you're going through. I do seek comfort in many other ways also. Writing a journal, listening to Christian music (along with all the other genres), I pray and I visit sites like this or talk with others who can comprehend how you feel. Keep Strong. You're a Mom. God made you strong. HUGS !
mj	Re: My Son is a Meth Addict...HELP!!! From another mom in despair... One year ago I we found the meth paraphernalia in my daughter's purse, which finally explained her bizarre behavior. Now, a year later, I think she might be "sick and tire of being sick and tired." She is in recovery, as of yesterday. We had to "turn her over to God," it was all above and beyond what we could or knew how to handle. I agree, sometimes there are instances, such as NOT bailing them out of jail, helping the D.A. keep them in longer (to sober up)...stuff YOU can do to help them heal. Forced, no. My prayers go out to you. They say the more you can surrender it, the more the natural consequences/spiritual forces will intervene. I live on faith, and have to say, that this site has helped me see insights that we non addicts cannot comprehend. Hope this helps a little...
luve piphany	Re: My Son is a Meth Addict...HELP!!! vctry, I'm going to find that book-sorcery=Meth! Mom, meth is a false prophet-a tool of the devil in my book-do some spiritual warfare and pray over your son. Read Revelations with him and he might just get a few hints that he is enmeshed in the active end of the world by seeing everything falsely just like Satan wants it to be seen-black is white, what was good is evil and evil is good... Keep praying to confuse the enemy
Bent But Not Broken	Re: My Son is a Meth Addict...HELP!!! Gem I have no experience with interventions but to say I watch each one on A & E. I have written them and, am highly considering using them on my meth addict friend. I've given him a little over 2 weeks to think it through without him knowing what might happen. Should I use it, I'll let you know how it went.
laurrr	Re: My Son is a Meth Addict...HELP!!! *Quote:* However, he refuses to acknowledge his mental issues and refuses to take the prescribed medications. Instead he insists to this day that what he sees and experiences with people is real and the rest of us are against him. He is quickly walking a path of self-destruction and I fear for his future. Hiii! WOW.. I CAN ONLY imagine WHAT YOU'RE Going THROUGH. I JUST WENT THROUGH TREATMENT FOR MY METH Addiction. I WENT FOR 7 MONTHS. MOST ADULT TREATMENT CENTERS.. WELL, in MY AREA, LAST 30-45 DAYS. I DON'T KNOW if YOUR SON WAS ON METH WHEN HE WAS Diagnosed With Bipolar Disorder, BUT THE DOCTORS Didn't KNOW I WAS A METH Addict WHEN MY MOTHER MADE ME GO &&i WAS DiAGNOSED WiTH BiPOLAR, ALSO. i`M NOT, iT WAS DEFiNiTELY A DRUG-iNDUCED DiAGNOSiS. i THiNK YOU`VE DONE THE RiGHT THiNG FOR HiM.. HAViNG HiM COMMiTTED, BUT AS FOR YOU.. i WOULD RECOMMEND YOU TO BEGiN ATTENDiNG AL-ANON MEETiNGS, OR NAR-NON iF AT ALL POSSiBLE.. i PROMiSE YOU, iT`S HELPED MY MOTHER A LOT. ALSO, TRY &&HAVE A COURT ORDER FiLED SO THAT HE`LL STAY. i KNOW HAD i NOT BEEN FACiNG LEGAL MATTERS, i WOULD HAVE LEFT TREATMENT. THOSE DAYS WHEN i WANTED TO LEAVE, SOMETiMES THE ONLY THiNG STOPPiNG ME WAS KNOWiNG i HAD A COURT ORDER FiLED FOR ME TO STAY. i WiSH YOU ALL THE BEST, &&i`LL KEEP YOU iN MY PRAYERS. THiS iS AN EASY THiNG TO BEAT, BUT iT`S REALLY NOT SiMPLE. GiVE iT TiME, LET GOD BE GOD
Loraura	Re: My Son is a Meth Addict...HELP!!! *Quote:* Gem, I think you should have him read "Meth = Sorcery" by Steve Box. In my opinion that book is a load of crap. I have lots of book on addiction, and meth, and that one was by far the worst that I have spent money on. I sold it back to half-priced books, and when I did, I felt a little guilty that someone else would waste their money on it.
luve piphany	Re: My Son is a Meth Addict...HELP!!! ooohhhh how come?
Loraura	Re: My Son is a Meth Addict...HELP!!! FOR ME, it was all religious brain-washing shock-factor hype. The author is a religious fanatic. I couldn't take his level of... belief, I suppose. I felt he was jabbing it down my throat. My overall impression was "This dude is a complete moron." It worked for him, for sure. Perhaps his style of suggested recovery would work for some others. For me -- I thought it was insane.
Barn cats7	Re: My Son is a Meth Addict...HELP!!! Gem, Purchase him the Life Recovery Bible (Tyndale). You won't regret it.
luve piphany	Re: My Son is a Meth Addict...HELP!!! Loraura, all the Christian writers are going to sound like religious fanatics speaking Chinese if you don't believe in Jesus Christ as savior so steer clear of them or they will just piss you off. Often overzealous crazy Christians write books but like anything, one has to take what they want and then sell it on half price books.. Hey, I'm on eBay but I don't have a clue how to use half price books-makes me mad that I'm so dumb. How do you do it?