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Step-daughter, has 2 children, is a Meth addict

New here...step-daughter is an addict...
we were told to turn our back on her.. she has 2 children 11 & 6 she is married he also does meth, he snorts she shoots up...she was clean for 6 years....has been back on it for over a year...is now hallucinating and she has blood poisoning...we took her to E R. (against her husband's wishes, he threw us out of the house but we took her anyway, she could not walk, her feet were huge looked like huge red boots with sores all over them)....
The doctor talked to her in private. she herself is in recovery. had lost her son....told us to pretend she is dead and we HAVE TO GET THE KIDS...she is afraid that my sd is at the point she could get homicidal....we are old very old.....I am so very tired...we have gone thru this for almost 25 years at one time had custody of her 2 older ones...

just needed somewhere I could talk and aren't you all the lucky ones...thanks for listening...

she had said she could only trust us hence taking her to ER, last night she could only trust her husband and we were taping her thru the TV....

Oh, could he be putting the meth in her food/drink??..she swore she had not had any for about 2-5 days (it changes) but no crashing and still hallucinating....we do not trust him AT ALL....
Re: New here...step-daughter is an addict...
Whoa! That was gut wrenching to read, my heart goes out to you people.
I think you better stick around and learn more about your step daughters plight, there are many parents here going through the same thing who are here in mutual support.
Keep in mind these three pertinent facts...[3 C's]
1. You didn't cause
2. You can't control it
3. You can't cure it

Another tip....no Cash for the addicts! It will be spent on meth. Guaranteed!
AND! Based on your description of your step daughter and her husband....the children NEED to be elsewhere. ASAP
You have NO reason to trust either one of them.
Meth addicts lie through their teeth, it's par for the course, it doesn't matter who you are, you won't hear the truth. Also guaranteed!
Those young children are paying a very high price for their parents actions, they're living in the outer limits of meth hell. IMO they ARE in danger!
Consider THEIR rights! the parents insanity is emotionally damaging and dangerous to those kids.
No child deserves to witness psychotic, delusional, and possibly homicidal parents.

Welcome, and please use this forum, you're going to need it.

Edit...don't give up, friend, your post will be getting replies. Give it a little time, and trust me...the support and understanding here is priceless, and there is a LOT of empathy here for your situation.
no more
Re: New here...step-daughter is an addict...
I've been thinking about it, I've read your story more than once, to let it sink in. I want to be careful of my words.
I think Danimal's response was perfect and I also think the ER doc is right.

The kids are not safe with parents who think people can tape them thru the TV. They aren't safe.
Are there other family members who they could be with besides you?
Get the kids out. No one wants to call the authorities on people, but what choice do you have?
The stepdaughter and her man you can't help.

Keep coming back here, there is a lot of reading material and other boards you can visit.
Re: New here...step-daughter is an addict...
Don't leave. I know that when I log onto this site I often read all the posts that interest me first, then I go back and reply to the one's that I feel I have something to add to. This is a really good site for support, I hope you find it here. I'm a new member and I've found this site to be really helpful and informative. Stick around and keep posting!

Now about your post--Meth psychosis is very real and things can get violent in a split second. There have been incidents where parent's on meth have violently attacked their children while delusional and high. I recall my Mom telling me about a news report of a man on meth that killed his son because he thought his son was the devil or possessed by the devil. Just reading your post makes me scared for you and the kids. You mentioned being old and tired of dealing with this problem but you have to be the voice for these children and get them out of there. Even if you cannot take care of them yourself getting them out of harms way is the best thing you can do. It is really unfair that our addicts put us in these kind of situations but most of the stuff they try to involve us in is just crap to enable them to continue using. This is different, this involves innocent children. They didn't ask for this anymore than you did so please step up and get them out of that insane situation. Keep us posted. Good luck.
Re: New here...step-daughter is an addict...
Hi, and welcome to KCI!

My name is Kristy and I am the wife of a recovering addict.
I second Danimal. The best thing you can do for your step-daughter right now is to help her protect her children from herself and her husband.

My very first post here, I was seeking advice as to whether or not I should report my husband to CPS. We have a 3-year-old daughter. He was not living in my home at the time, but was instead living with another user and her young child. I had no custody agreement in place and my husband had every legal right to take my daughter to his apartment at anytime.
I was scared for both my child and the child of his co-addict.
After receiving support and encouragement from the folks here, I made the most difficult call of my life...
As a result of that call, I was able to legally protect my daughter from her father and the child he was living with was subsequently removed from that situation.

That was 7 months ago. Last week, my husband thanked me for making that call. It kept him from creating more regret for himself and it kick started the downward spiral that helped him reach his bottom and seek recovery on his own.

Today, my husband is 58 days clean. We are both working on our own recoveries. Our family is sober and intact.

Looking back, that call potentially saved the lives of two innocent children and one meth addict. So even though my husband and our child are now on file with CPS, I have no regrets... none.

We are here for you. 
Loraura Re: New here...step-daughter is an addict...
I'm not sure how much you know about meth, and what happens inside the user's brain during use, and long after.
Reading this might help.
Re: New here...step-daughter is an addict...
Please attend Nar Anon or Al Anon meetings. My ex is an addict. Having children involved is the worst.

Please keep coming back. Sometimes people don't get the opportunity to answer right away. Give us a few hours. Scroll to the bottom of the page where you can see which members are on this site and send someone a message if you need help immediately.

We are all here for each other. Welcome to KCI. Now we are here for you.
JUSTCATS Re: New here...step-daughter is an addict...
Oh, could he be putting the meth in her food/drink??..she swore she had not had any for about 2-5 days (it changes) but no crashing and still hallucinating....we do not trust him AT ALL....

Don't leave! A lot of people read posts, while they are at work, and reply later. It's not that anybody is passing you by, they may be at work...

Keep posting and talking to us. I had an addict in my life too, and believe me, I know the kind of h&ll they put you through. Keep coming back, gaining knowledge and support. It really does help.

Meth addicts still suffer the affects of the meth, even if they have not recently used. Many have hallucinations. He could be putting meth in her food/drink, but to me, it sounds just like a typical lie out of an addicts mouth, covering up their addiction. Believe me, I think all of us that are loved ones of an addict have heard some pretty wild stories, and often they swore that they were not using and they definitely were.

scorpio Re: New here...step-daughter is an addict...
Could you imagine being a child who's parents think the TV is recording them? Could you imagine how much more there is to these kids' story. Maybe someday this couple will get help, maybe having the kids taken away will help them want help, and maybe not, regardless, those kids need out. When you take the kids, lay some ground rules out. You can't take them anywhere unless your clean, you can't have them back until you get help. Get the kids some counseling. Good luck, God bless you
Re: New here...step-daughter is an addict...
Welcome to KCI! You will find tons of info and insight into your daughters addiction as well as others who have walked in your shoes or better yet, ahead of you. I, for one, am the mother of a 26 year old daughter and I've had custody of her baby since she was 5 months old. She is now 4. For the exception of 4 months when she was with her mother this year, I have taken care of her. Today, my daughter is back in jail for the 3rd time and I feel certain she is "headed down the road" for a long time. I understand you feeling old and tired. I feel the same way. Everyday is an effort to take care of a 4 year old at my age. You have to do what is right for you. Is there another family member who could take the children? One thing for certain is that your grandchildren are more than likely being neglected. Educate yourself on this drug and turn your daughter over to God. Most of all, take care of YOU. Continue coming here for advice. There are wonderful, loving people here who truly care.
Re: New here...step-daughter is an addict...
thank you all again...
I think I forgot to mention I did raise Dawn since she was about 12.....
Her dad tried to call her twice today and I tried once with no answer and her not calling back.....
tomorrow I am heading to the school to talk to Chelseana.....and then to DHS....
Re: New here...step-daughter is an addict...

I quit for 6 years and lost everything when I returned.
......I was a different kind of crazy.
but it took a year to translate what happened into this
realities standards....
.....with time she'll return with a few quirks, like pet cemetery, I guess, sometimes dead is better!
(that was for her when she gets better, she'll get the joke)
how long did she use before the six years?
.........it's very progressive.
and every time you use, it uses you....
...she'll soon know what I do.
every time counts.
.....each time takes more and more of you until there's nothing.

welcome to the board.
...I'm suzie. a big gnarly meth addict, of 28 years.
-6 years I quit, and ran 2 more years....lost everything, homeless and insane...
......then I quit another 14 months-1day because my mom threw a net over me and I'm on the only speed free island in America...
....so here I am.  with tales from the crypt. 

....she's still going?  oh man...
....it's going to get bad!
you got to tie her to a chair in the attic, or get out of the way of the explosion...and yank the kids...
......she won't care.

LdyLesa Re: New here...step-daughter is an addict...
I don't log in here every day anymore.....I refuse to let meth take control of my life, especially since I'm not the one using.

My story is almost duplicate to yours. My step-daughter is an addict to meth as well as alcohol and probably cocaine if not heroin. She's a plain mess. She lives about 3-4 hours away from us.

The drugs have always been part of her life...we just didn't realize it until about two years ago. It just all started getting out of control. Our concern was with our grandson. Finally another family member called child services. Step-daughter was frightened of the visits...thought they would catch something....so she gave her son to them and asked them to place him with family. Her paranoia caught up to her. Because child services did not take him, we had to fight for custody from her.....

We are raising our grandson now. She calls almost every night. She has been in jail....she's never really at any one place very long. She claims that since her arrest, she's not done meth...but I don't believe her because she's not showing any signs of stability. She's not had a job. She has nothing any more.

I understand what you are saying about being old and not really wanting to raise the grandchildren. I felt that way at first too. But I'm so glad he's in my life now. If you can not do this...don't blame yourself. However, get the children out of there. Raise heck until they are removed. I would much rather see them in a safe foster environment than where they are now. There are many things to consider...

How is the school attendance? How are their grades in school?

What are they seeing in their own home? What types of people visit? What do they do in their spare time?

When we got our grandson, he had already missed the better part of the school year. Out of the 120 days or so, he probably only attended about 60 of them. His grades were awful and he did not get along with his teacher. He felt as if she was always giving him a hard time...(what would you do as a teacher if a student was always missing and could not keep up with the other?) Since we took custody, he's only missed 5 days in the past year in a half....and the last three report periods he's made the honor roll (which he's never done before and is quite proud of himself). I've been a part of his life since he was born 12 years ago....my husband and I only married about 2 years ago though. It was right after our wedding that all heck broke loose with her addiction. We were worried...we thought we were done raising children and could spend the time just the two of us. We thought about how nice it was that we could just pick up and go away for a few days and not worry about sitters, school, etc. That didn't happen. But we have no regrets in taking him in to our home.

She too has been hospitalized for the infections. its a type of staph....one that is hard to get rid of. Not being able to walk...her eyes were swollen shut for awhile...its very contagious...did the Dr tell you this? It can be spread to family members.

I would not believe your daughter in anything she says. There's a joke out there....how do you tell when a meth addict is lying? S/he opens her/his mouth.

Keep coming here. There is a lot to learn. This is a great place to learn it. We've got addicts who are still using but want to quit...we've got addicts who are not using who still want to use...we've got addicts who never want to touch the stuff again but live in fear of using...we've got family members who stuck with loved ones during the battles...we've got family members who have lost loved ones during the battle. We are all here and although we may not always agree with each other, we still hold out our hands in support.

Come back.....find some peace.

See also:

Are these signs my step daughter is using Meth?

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