wemis
calif |
The worst part of my recovery
I won't say much because its
hard to explain because my recovery is going great (one week
short of 8 months) but the biggest problem I have is I am afraid
to live. I don't like to meet new people and I prefer solitude
to any social activity. How do I get past this? |
| Replies... |
Hemet
chik |
Re: The worst part of my recovery
I understand you... |
| Sfj |
Re: The worst part of my recovery
Slowly try to meet people
who understand what you've been through.
CMA worked for me.
CMA Website |
forget
suzette |
Re: The worst part of my recovery
a lot of us understand
you.
....I'm a meth addict w/o meth that goes to work and home.
I don't want to even deal with all that.
welcome |
| DSALO1 |
Re: The worst part of my recovery
Congratulations on 8 months.
Why are you afraid to live? |
forget
suzette |
Re: The worst part of my recovery
because we don't want to
live w/o speed.
.....................we forgot how....right?
that's my problem.
.....excuse me for interrupting, if I'm wrong.
*smiles* |
wemis
calif |
Re: The worst part of my recovery
I used to think that
without speed I was weak, and after being on meth for 27 years I
guess it can take a while to be "normal" again |
lori
T007 |
Re: The worst part of my recovery
All I can say is so proud
of you 27 years of using and 8 months clean that's GREAT. I'm
not an addict just a mom who's son is one. Again proud of you. |
| Penel0pe |
Re: The worst part of my recovery
I used for 26 years, am
about 4 1/2 months shy of 3 years clean, and I know what you
mean.
This too shall pass - meanwhile, get to know some people that
have walked this path before you. This website is a good
start... but you got to get out of the house too!
SFJ gave you a link for CMA. I get my recovery through NA.
Narcotics Anonymous Meeting Locator
Either program can help you get past your fear of living -
outpatient rehab is another option.
There's a bunch of us out here who understand you, trust me on
that...
and welcome to the board! |
forget
suzette |
Re: The worst part of my recovery
damn! I used 22, PAWS did
23...
.....wow!
for he's a jollygood speeeeeeeed freaaaaaaak!
....that nobody can denial! |
Jamie
J1979 |
Re: The worst part of my recovery
I totally understand what you mean. I found
that thinking about it made it worse, I just had to go for it.
Meaning if there was something I wished I could do I just made
myself get out there and do it. Going back to school was really
scary because I was so afraid I was too old at 27 and that I had
made myself stupid from all the drugs I used. I was also scared
of being around people. The first day of going back to school
was a little tough but it go easier day after day. Soon I was
asking myself why I making such a big deal to begin with. My
main problem with trying new things is social phobia. I forgot
how to relate to people when drugs aren't involved. It's not as
hard as I thought it was though. I'm still getting used to it
though. Making phone calls and handling day to day things that
needed to be done overwhelmed me at first. I just made a list of
things I needed to do and did one thing a day until I had
crossed everything off my list. I'm pregnant so I can't take
antidepressants or anything. I feel that they might help some
people if you are having a real hard time. |
| DSALO1 |
Re: The worst part of my recovery
Dear wemiscali,
Are you familiar with the 12 step program? |
chris
gonz |
Re: The worst part of my recovery
Hello,
My name is Chris, I did my last speedball over 13 years ago.
Currently, I'm sick with hepc and waiting for my 3rd round of
treatment.
Before I fell ill, I had 7 years clean from everything, now I
smoke some pot, prescribed.. for the last 3 years.
Anyway...
What worked for me, it was getting past the paranoia feeling,
the feeling that others knew of my past hard addictions, that
they were talking about me behind my back.
I remember when I finally realized that nobody was talking about
me when I left the room and unless I dressed in something truly
shocking... people didn't even remember what I had on the day
before. There were times, I realized that if I was quiet and
stayed busy, some people wouldn't even notice I was there.
So.. my suggestion is that you not worry about what others think
or what you think they may be thinking.
Realistically... people who haven't lived their lives like we
have, have MUCH BETTER things to do than trip on a new face in
the crowd.
Unless you share your past, drama, whatever with others, no body
knows. So, it's up to you what you want people to know about
you. Not to be dishonest, but selective about what you share and
those you choose to share with.
Jump into life, a clean-normal life with two feet if you have
to.
Don't keep missing out on the world out there, cause there's a
lot to see and do. So many cool faces to meet. Everyday out
there you'll meet someone new and experience new things.
I hate being confined to my home as much as I am... plus it
creates a state of depression being cooped in. People are meant
to enjoy the outdoors and all the great things the world has to
offer.
Don't not get yours. Go for it, while you can.
Stay strong and positive. |
Tender
hearts
KS |
Re: The worst part of my recovery
I'm 16 years clean, and
still prefer solitude to social activity
What helped me? 12 step programs (attending meetings/getting a
sponsor/working the steps). I found I am 'comfortable' around
others in recovery, and that is my socialization.
I'll never join a bowling league or softball team, never cared
for company parties. I don't do the PTA thing (though I did join
one year and enjoyed it!), never carpooled with other mothers
for school events, and prefer the company of my dogs to other
folks most times
It is better. I don't have those horrible anxiety attacks just
from leaving the house and having to do something like buy
groceries or get gas in the car. |
wemis
calif |
Re: The worst part of my recovery
I have gone to NA and CMA
meetings once or twice a week for the past 5 months but over the
last two weeks I haven't had any interest. I am not a shut in
person by any means, I go hiking with my wife and our dogs and I
ride a road bike and a mountain bike and I work 40 hours a week |
Broken
N2 |
Re: The worst part of my recovery
Hey I know what you mean
and how you feel. I too feel that way!!
I think in my case it is depression and am seeing a Dr. and a
Therapist. The Dr has upped my meds to the max..400mg and it
does seem to help.
I also recently made some goals in my life for the first time in
four years. I am tired of living this way...I am tired of
missing out on life...and I am tired of running away from my
problems. I am ready for the first time in a long time to face
life and what comes my way.
Anyways just know your not alone at all...and my opinion of how
to overcome it...is to just do it...I think.. ....hell what do I
know I'm an x-speed-freak..
120 days clean |
| DSALO1 |
Re: The worst part of my recovery
Dear wemiscali,
What made you lose interest in NA/CMA? |
nine
years
clean |
Re: The worst part of my recovery
Wemis: I'm over 10 years
clean and I still feel like an alien when I'm around normies. I
don't feel like I fit in with them. Their life experience is so
different than mine.
But you know what? I don't have to fit it anywhere but in my own
heart and mind. If I can be comfortable in my own skin, I don't
care about the rest.
I've never been a introvert, so I guess that has helped me live
amongst the normies. And the older I've gotten, the less and
less concerned I am about what other people think of me.
I would definitely suggest you hook up with recovering addicts.
It helped me immensely. Just knowing that I wasn't an alien, and
that there were others out there just like me, helped me to
accept myself and move forward.
The solitude thing isn't good right now. It can lead to boredom,
one of the biggest threats to our clean time. Fellowship with a
group of people who understand your struggles is a good thing.
You always have us, of course. |
wemis
calif |
Re: The worst part of my recovery
Thanks everyone for your
comments, it helps to hear from people who have been there. |
| Penel0pe |
Re: The worst part of my recovery
Quote:
So.. my suggestion is that you not
worry about what others think or what you think they may be
thinking.
Chris makes a good point.
What MOST people are thinking about at any given time is...
THEMSELVES! |
