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How to keep your kids from becoming addicts

Sfj How to keep your kids from becoming meth addicts
The following is from Dr. Mary Holley’s book, “Crystal Meth, They Call It Ice.”

Mother's Against Meth
"The spiritual health of a teenager is extremely important to resisting pressures to use drugs. The strength of this association was described eloquently by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University. Teens who never attend worship services are four times more likely to abuse drugs as those who attend services weekly. Adults who never attend worship services are eight times more likely to abuse drugs.
There are many factors going into that figure, income, education, marital status of the parents for example, but the most important variable was the spiritual condition of the teen’s father. The father’s attendance at church was the single most predictive factor for prevention of drug abuse among teenagers in this study. The most important thing you can do to reduce the risk of drug abuse in your family is to take your kids to church.”
I can easily see some scoffing at this and calling it bogus posting. But look at the 12-step programs. By far, they are the most successful of all peer-to-peer programs helping alcoholics and addicts to recovery. Twelve step programs are very adamant about the spiritual nature of the program. The quote above, of Dr. Holley, does not specify a particular denomination or religion. It does place an emphasis on the spirituality and the demonstration of that spirituality by the father.
I’m sure that more controversy will follow.
DSALO1 Re: How to keep your kids from becoming meth addicts
Yep,  I agree with her. The steps can be found in the scriptures.
There are many reasons one would choose to use drugs.
So much of the time it is to escape pain of various types:
depression, anxiety, low self esteem, hopelessness, despair, worthlessness
the steps begin to restore people in their souls.
The scriptures embodies the steps.
Healing of the soul is what overcomes the "beast".

Just as our laws were formed from the 10 commandments
to keep us safe and orderly, the 12 steps were formed from the word of God to make get us well and find peace and healing for our souls.


Re: How to keep your kids from becoming meth addicts
although i never attended "worship services" as referred to in the quote...
i will comment on having spiritual parents and how, if at all that affected my decision on taking/abusing drugs...my father was an alcoholic....he sought recovery when i was 6 years of age, he has not touched a single drop of alcohol or any mind or mood altering substances since his first meeting....

he is/was a very spiritual man,12 step spiritual, and was very open and expressed his spirituality to me....i grew up with much talk of "A Higher Power Of My Understanding"....i was never preached to or pressured into any religion of any sought...but grew up around a very spiritual father...that didn't have ANY effect on me at all that i can recall...

I'm sure statistics and numbers and studies from professional and professors will say I'm wrong, but in my opinion THERE IS NO WAY TO STOP YOUR KIDS BECOMING ADDICTS short of locking them in a room all there life....i grew up around the big book...i grew up in meetings....by the age of 12 i was sitting in meeting listening, crying because i related to the speakers....as i had already started drinking and using heavily at that age...i knew the serenity prayer when i was 10.  .but still i pursued that life....

what will be will be and in my opinion you can't stop that...
gigi177 Re: How to keep your kids from becoming meth addicts
Then my daughter is one of the anomalies in the statistics. She has gone to either Catholic or Episcopalian schools her entire life. She went to Catholic church every week. She was even youth lector and youth Eucharistic minister from 2nd grade on. My hubby and I have been married for almost 37 years. She had a very stable, loving family home in which to grow up in.

So what happened???
Re: How to keep your kids from becoming meth addicts
The father’s attendance at church was the single most predictive factor for prevention of drug abuse among teenagers in this study.
Damn, I guess I messed that statistic up-
Could it be my father's attendance in church and his devout belief that spare the rod and spoil the child that helped me go against statistics?
He never missed a Sunday. On either - church or beatings.

Now do I think a stable home with a good foundation can make a difference?
Why sure.  But it is the absolute against substance abuse?

Self esteem, coping skills, self confidence- that all plays an incredible part on whether or not your child will do drugs.
Genetics play a huge part of the addiction aspect.

JMO of course.
Re: How to keep your kids from becoming meth addicts
I NEVER sent my kids to church or any sort of worship services.

None have become addicts or even tried speed. 2 are grown.
I was/am very open about the dangers of drugs as well as my own addiction.
I, on the other hand went to church every Sunday until I was about 13 years old.
I think love, honesty and trust go a lot further in the home than services on Sundays.  IMO, individuality is the key to survival...knowing yourself,  believing in yourself,  loving yourself and  treating others like you'd want them to treat you... in the bible, but also common sense.
Re: How to keep your kids from becoming meth addicts
I think you know what I'm going to say. I definitely agree with the Doctor. I'm sure there are many exceptions, but attending services regularly has got to help.

I still feel pretty much helpless, though, in keeping my child from drugs. He's only 7 now and I already worry about what will happen when he's older. I guess I just keep praying and let God do His work, whatever that may be.
Re: How to keep your kids from becoming meth addicts
I don't necessarily completely disagree with the doctor ... but am frustrated that he's saying this is out of my control. So as a divorced mother, whose ex-husband doesn't go to church ... I'm just screwed? Nope, I won't accept that.
Re: How to keep your kids from becoming meth addicts
And as well you shouldn't.
It isn't hopeless.
Re: How to keep your kids from becoming meth addicts
I read her book and highly recommend it.
My son, a recovering Crystal Meth addict, does believe in God. He has pictures of Jesus in his residence, as well as many forms of the Bible.
He went to private, religious schools during his teen years. He attended church.
I do believe his faith has helped him in his struggles to recover.

He is doing well, by the way. He had a relapse last month, moved into the "crack house" as he called it. After two weeks, he ran back home and now, has moved to Las Vegas for a break. He has already gotten a job and is happy and doing well.
Re: How to keep your kids from becoming meth addicts
Funny that I had this type of conversation with my mom the other day and she knows virtually nothing of my situation with loving a meth addict. She has been getting hints from many people that she should "go to church" and in church, she is hearing that God wants her there. So, she tells me that I should go to church. I, then tell her that I worship everywhere, can worship anywhere, that I did go to Sunday school when I was a kid by myself, that I did go to church a lot in my life. She said she thought that she and my dad should have gone to church. I told her that I knew that they loved me and God even if they didn't go to church-that is what I remember believing as a child. I became a Christian when I was 12, I drank and did drugs as a child on through teen years. I always prayed. I always knew that God wanted me to not hurt my body or my soul. It was when I had the chance to go to NA and AA meetings at the age of 18 that I really latched on to my spirituality and I realized why God didn't want me to hurt my body or soul with drugs and alcohol. I never went back to using drugs and never became an alcoholic-instead, I ended up loving addicts. Letting go and letting God was much much easier later on because of my early spiritual relationship with God, but probably not because I went to church. Obviously, everyone with addiction in their genes-jeans, will fight some battle with some addiction sometime.

I think family togetherness is the ticket more than just worship in church.
Re: How to keep your kids from becoming meth addicts
come to think of it 90% of the addicts i have heard share in NA grew up with a catholic or religious child hood.
Re: How to keep your kids from becoming meth addicts
If answers were simple and applied to ALL then we'd ALL be perfect. Everyone's different; what works wonders for some is poison for others.
lax2 Re: How to keep your kids from becoming meth addicts
Yeah I guess it didn't work in our case either....
Cuz My bro and I were forced to go to church and Sunday school until we were confirmed. Dad was even our Sun School teacher for a couple of years.
After church we each got a quarter for candy...I guess as a bribe or reward for not playing sick. We didn't get candy if we played sick.
I remember more than once painting measles on my brother with a permanent marker. He started drugs even younger than I at about 12.
Dad got up every Sunday to teach and sit thru service no matter how hung-over he was from from the night before. Amen.
Loraura Re: How to keep your kids from becoming meth addicts
I went to church usually every Sunday (not a lot of exceptions, but some) with both mom and dad who are still married every weekend from infancy thru leaving for college.
I went to private Catholic school from K-6.
I attended CCD classes through high school (continuing education for Catholics).
I got married in the Catholic Church.
My son was baptized in the catholic church.
However, from K-6, every day, as we were let out of class, we were allowed to form a line at the Rectory (where the priests live) and be blessed by Fr. Charles, who I absolutely adored (and still do, bless his soul). Fr. Charles would bless us, and let us each have a piece of candy. And a hug.
As a result, I found that candy reduced any and all anxiety that had built up throughout the school day.

I didn't turn into a drug addict.
I turned into a sugar addict.
Re: How to keep your kids from becoming meth addicts
I have no opinion on whether organized religion keeps kids off drugs. I'm the child of a devout Catholic mother and an Atheist father. I didn't become an addict, but I married one.

BUT... this seems like a good place to share the poem that hung in hallway of every dwelling my Mom and I lived in (right next to Desiderata) and that hangs in my own hallway today... If you've never read it, I hope you enjoy it.

Children Learn What They Live
by Dorothy Law Nolte

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
Re: How to keep your kids from becoming meth addicts

And the only thing I CAN do is love my kids, try to teach them right from wrong, and hope for the best.

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