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In love with person who introduced me to Meth

question222 In love with person who introduced me to Meth
Hello everyone. I have been a meth user for about a year and a half. My problem with it is that I am in love and been in a relationship with the person who introduced me to it. It's been my only source, and the only time I ever use it. I do not think I am addicted to it, because I never crave it, and do not do it as regularly (about every 2-3 weeks for 1-2 days) as an addict would.

My only reason for continuing to do it this long is that I got to spend time with that person, and get a "reality" break from my own stress filled life.

My problem right now is that my last few times I've used it, I have had very bad effects from it. This has been from my extremities (including stomach muscles) have started to tingle and go dumb to completely trying to "lock up", to feeling arrhythmia in my heart and trouble breathing enough (not feeling like I was getting enough oxygen).

I have had side effects before, like having a lower than normal pulse rate and feeling faint.. But never as extreme has the last few times.

Right now, I'm 36 hours since the last time I've used, and have slept for 10 hours since. However, I'm still feeling my heart beat somewhat erratically and having a slight difficulty breathing. I keep reminding myself to stay calm, because most of the time. How you react to it, determines what you feel and how bad it will get. But honestly, I'm a little scared in the back of my mind right now because my side effects have never lasted as long as they have now.

Thanks for any advice you can give me...

Re: In love with person who introduced me to Meth
I know you love it.......so do I.......I quit.
so can you.
back away.....before you go to bed and don't wake up.

danimal55 Re: In love with person who introduced me to Meth
Welcome 222!
Glad you made it here...instead of going down the tubes.
That IS an awkward love triangle...the "person"..."meth" & YOU.
And meth IS calling the shots if you think you have to do meth to be with her.
If you don't think you're addicted, try not using for 60-90 days.

Meth is telling you everything is fine, and you keep going back....meanwhile your body is screaming at you to stop before it shuts down.
"very bad effects"....get worse.  Listen to your heart....while it's still beating.

IMO you need a "reality break" from her and her dope, the two of them will turn your world upside down.  They WILL BE the source of your "stress filled life"...if they're not already. Guaranteed.
If you take the meth out of the relationship you'll be most surprised at the true "reality" of things.  It is..... Powered By Meth.

The best advice is to make this forum a habit for a while and get educated on exactly what you're doing to yourself..  and why?  And explore your recovery options, 1 1/2 yrs. of meth use is going to require some recovery skills.

Your soul needs a healthy space suit to be spiritual and happy...and survive, and your suit is speaking to you.  So listen up.  Meth lies to us....we lie to ourselves...and we head over the cliff like Lemmings.
Some of us land here....and we're glad you did too.
And we all know one thing...WE DON'T HAVE TO USE.
The last time is the best time...and we'll all hope and pray collectively that *YOUR* last time was 36 hrs. ago.

Be here.

Re: In love with person who introduced me to Meth
That's funny.. You are not addicted
My sweetie used every 2 weeks. It takes that much time for your body to recover from the last slam.
Danimals right.   take the meth away and see if you still have a relationship.
In my experience when my addict was using his heart was pounding so hard that it sounded like he just ran a marathon. Now that he is sober his heart sounds like heaven.
It took me about a year after his last use to realize this fact.

Suzette's right.. stop.. before you can't.
If you are not an ADDICT then it will be easier now than later.

Welcome ..we're here for yah 24/7
Captain24 Re: In love with person who introduced me to Meth
I know where you are coming from. In your logical mind you know the answer is "just stop doing it, look how its making you feel". I usually have a fairly mellow high, but once in a while my heart will freak out and beat really hard about 5 times. It scares me, then I look like a real tweeker when I am sitting with my stethoscope on listening to my heart beat. Even though you know your body is doing something it shouldn't, you keep using. I need to follow the logical advice too, I think your body is giving you a chance by warning you. I will take my own advice as well

JamieJ1979 Re: In love with person who introduced me to Meth
You don't have to use drugs daily to be a addict. In fact when I used speed I rarely used two days in a row. Usually I would do it and then wait another week or so to do it again. I didn't have a dealer either in the beginning, I only used when I was around certain people. Was I a addict? Yes- but I didn't think so. I still had a job, apartment, money, my health, my sanity, how could I be a addict right? I just didn't see what was really going on until things got really bad. That's how addiction creeps on people. Rarely does someone go from casual use to down and out homeless overnight but yet we constantly compare ourselves to late stage addicts when trying to determine if we have a problem. Most of the time the answer is yes we have a problem but it's in the beginning stages so comparing ourselves with late stage addicts is kind of stupid but it serves a purpose. We feel that we don't have a problem because we aren't in late stage addiction where a person's life can fall completely apart and their drug use is very obvious.

The guy I've been with for the last 4 years uses drugs, I used to do drugs with him. I was a addict prior to meeting him although my addiction did progress a lot faster after we got together. If you take the drugs away you will be so surprised because the relationship is often not what you think it is without the dope. No doubt I still love my guy as a person and as the father of my soon to be born son and I care about him as a close friend but that in love feeling is gone. Maybe I'm just fed up because he still struggles with using and I've gone clean. Maybe we just have different goals in life now. Different dreams, different hopes. We definitely are walking separate paths. I've gone back to school and I've managed to get clean and stay clean with lots of help. Drugs that make a relationship can often break a relationship. Taking the drugs out of the picture can totally change your perspective on the whole deal. Do you feel you have to use drugs to bond with this person or to fit in and be a part of their world? Do you ever do things as a couple that doesn't involve drug use? Looking back at my relationship I can see everything we did revolved around using dope. Sure we did some normal things like go out to dinner, movies, bars, the gym, but more often than not we used drugs together. We sure didn't start out dating. We got together over drugs, sad really. I now know I want more than that. I want a real relationship, one that involves plenty of normal fun activities. I look forward to a future relationship with someone that doesn't involve using drugs.

vctry7 Re: In love with person who introduced me to Meth
I do not think I am addicted to it, because I never crave it, and do not do it as regularly (about every 2-3 weeks for 1-2 days) as an addict would.

Then try going just 2-3 months. I didn't think I was an addict either. I thought you had to use constantly and be a junkie on the street to be considered an addict.

I also said I never had cravings, I only thought about using. I wasn't obsessed with a feeling of needing to have it in the beginning. Now, I think there are just different levels of cravings. To me, just thinking about using is a craving.

I also never had intense cravings during the first month of being clean. They hit after the first month and got worse for a looong time.

Think about it, if you weren't addicted why would you use something so deadly that is making you feel so bad? And could also send you to jail? Why would you risk that?

question222 Re: In love with person who introduced me to Meth
I really appreciate everyone's posting.
It's now Friday, and 5 days since I last used, and I really think a light bulb came on in my head that I really want a real relationship. Thank you Jamie for your post, that's really how it is and how it feels. We started out 9 months of spending time together before the drugs ever started, but if it hadn't been for the drugs, I am not sure where it would be right now.

I know I need to quit, and I have decided I am going to. I don't want to throw my life away, and I want to have normal fun again and not just fry my brain by running at maximum all the time.

I know I deserve more, and I know he doesn't deserve me now.

Thank you again to everyone.

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