Naiev
Newlywed |
You Know What's Weird About Loving An Addict
The following posting is something I read on
another board that I frequent - written by 'Billy'sBabyGirl'.
It so simple yet so true.
Quote:
You know what's weird about loving an
addict, is you feel so damn guilty about making the right
choices. And do you know why we feel so guilty, because it's
what we haven't done before.
We have let them manipulate us. We've let them steal from
us. We've let them put us into debt. We've given them 3rd
and 4th chances. We've let them cheat on us. We've put our
lives aside trying to save their lives. We've lost who we
are for them.
So when we finally put our foots down, we feel guilty. Not
because we don't deserve to put our foots down, but because
we feel as if we're betraying them. But all along we have
been betraying ourselves for them.
It's weird how we can care for everyone else, but the moment
we start caring for ourselves we feel guilty.
There are over 18 pages of responses. Let
me know if you would like the link to read some of them.
They include:
Quote:
Loving the addict is hard but loving
yourself is harder to do..
And:
Quote:
It's because time and time again we
hear, "It's a disease" and you wouldn't abandon him if he
had cancer would you? That's what makes me feel guilty and
makes me stay.
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| Replies... |
| 4molly |
Re: You Know What's Weird About Loving An Addict
You know it's just funny how we do "lose"
ourselves for the addict and "his" problem. When focusing on
ourselves is what we should be doing. Why is that so hard? |
luve
piphany |
Re: You Know What's Weird About Loving An Addict
Molly, your question brought to mind the very
prophetic and wise quote I read on here..."Their teeth match our
wounds" It's way deeper than the first read.
luvya |
lover
ofa
meth
addict |
Re: You Know What's Weird About Loving An Addict
When my addict was still relapsing...I talked
to my counselor and said to him. " He could not really love me,
I am too clean for him." He looked at me, with disbelief in what
I just said.
Sick!!! |
luve
piphany |
Re: You Know What's Weird About Loving An Addict
That's too funny!!!!!!!!!
Wish I could wear my loverofanaddict badge in public!
I had someone actually ask me if I was on drugs the other
day-Someone, I may add, that knows what is going on in my life-I
just about fell over-I almost laughed out loud, I almost cried.
I said, "I hate drugs" What a bizarre thing...I wonder what I
would be like if I did do drugs-(maybe the cigarettes and caffeine are making me
someone I don't know....)
I swear, ya can't win for tryin--the disease is obviously way
more catchy and holding than we know.
Makes me paranoid....to have normal human reactions-what's
normal?
In the end, it is said that everything will be turned upside
down. It's looking like the end from my view. |
amart
1279 |
Re: You Know What's Weird About Loving An Addict
That guilt factor is so true. Not only is it
hard to love ourselves, but essentially codependency allows us
to focus on saving THEM so WE don't have to face what's wrong
with OURSELVES. it's almost ironic. I mean after all, they have
an "excuse" they are altering their mind's make up, physically
and mentally addicted to a SUBSTANCE. What's our excuse? |
k8
kanguru |
Re: You Know What's Weird About Loving An Addict
Quote:
You know what's weird about loving an
addict, is you feel so damn guilty about making the right
choices.
There's something about the wording in
that first sentence that bothers me. It implies that the cause
of this problem lies with the addict....like they made
us this way.
That subtle shift masks the true source of the problem - and its
solution.
Recognizing that the problem lies in our not placing sufficient
emphasis on taking responsibility for our own wellbeing, is the
starting point to recovery. |
Indiana
shedevil |
Re: You Know What's Weird About Loving An Addict
Quote:
Recognizing that the problem lies in
our not placing sufficient emphasis on taking responsibility
for our own wellbeing, is the starting point to recovery.
Very well put! It took me forever to get
that through my head! When I finally did that was my moment of
awareness. It hit me like a ton of bricks.
THIS is the reason why I was
able to make a lot of progress in my own personal recovery...
Please ponder over this... It is a VERY valid point! |
