More going on than just addiction
|More going on than just
that through out active addiction and even before addiction,
most addicts have other prominent problems that seem to make the
addiction worse and vice versa.
First we think "wow my life sucks, gee I'm fat, or I wish I had
friends" and those are some of the problems that usually lead an
addict to start using in the first place.
Then we start using and along with the many problems that are a
direct result of using (bad health, rotting teeth, trouble with
the law) other problems arise because of the life we are leading
and quite often because of preexisting problems that are
worsened by our drug use.
So we decide to get clean and for a while things are great!
Partly because you get an endorphin rush when your finally able
to produce them on your own again, but mostly because our
relationships with those who really care strengthen, we start to
lead a life with real meaning and feel more worth while, and we
no longer worry about cops, bad dope, or that bug under our
Life is going so great and you think " Hey nothing can happen
now, I'm clean", but even people who have never done drugs
before have bad things happen in their lives. Though I think
newly clean addicts tend to take it a little harder, like " Damn
I messed up my life so bad and finally turned it around.....now
Like me for instance...I've had two miscarriages sense getting
clean. With the first one I though " How can so and so have 5
healthy baby's when she smoked dope during each pregnancy and me
who is clean and not even smoking cigs looses her child??"
Well I am afraid that life does go on and we need to stop
looking at the past as a tally board and realize that no matter
how much we have gone through we are still bound to suffer more.
People gain strength, courage, and wisdom from pain and
suffering. I have learned and grown so much from all the crap I
have gone through. If everything just "poof" got better then I
would have not learned so many valuable lessons that now keep
(or at least help) me from making the same mistakes over and
Never before would I have ever imagined I would be saying
this....but I am grateful for my suffering.
Just some things that were floating around in my head
Thanks for listening
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