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My daughter, age 16, tried meth this weekend
Heather
CA |
My Daughter, age 16, tried meth this weekend
My
almost 16 year old daughter tried meth this weekend, and I am so
mad and so scared. She said she only did it the one time, but I
don't really believe. I worked so hard to get off meth, it took
just about everything I had to get off it, and I just can't
believe she did it. She even looked me in the eye the night
before, and swore she would never do meth, especially after
seeing what I went through on it.
Monday night we had an argument about it and she got in the face
and was screaming F you to me. I slapped her and she punched me
in the face, giving me a black eye and a long scratch down my
cheek. I had to push her off of me. After that I called the
police, and they searched her stuff and talked to her. They
didn't take her in though, due to overcrowding down at juvi. It
turns out that they recognized her from some previous contacts
they'd had with her. At least they were on my side, and
hopefully they will watch out for her if the see her around. It
was so embarrassing having the police coming to our house, and
it's so embarrassing walking around with a black eye. Those are
just so not my kinds of things.
Anyway, my daughter is on total lockdown. I am driving her to
school and picking her up. She is not allowed to leave the
house, and she cannot use the phone or computer.
She is also failing almost all of her school classes so I made
an appointment to meet with the school nurse and school
psychologist to help get her back on track at school.
The big problem is that my daughter is almost 16 and is a
sophomore in high school, and her ambition in life is to be a
squatter, go to shows and get high? What do you do when your
child just doesn't care about anything other than being with her
loser friends? She keeps threatening to run away, which she did
during this last summer. She was gone for five whole days. I had
no idea where she was for five days. Of course she thinks it's
no big deal. Now she's threatening to run away again, but to not
come back.
I told her that if she does drugs and won't live by my rules,
she will have to leave. I will not put up with that crap in my
life. I have been off meth for almost 3 years and I've been off
alcohol for 6 months next week. I will not give that away,
although it is a struggle right now.
I know this sounds terrible, but when she told me she did meth,
there was this little voice in my heading wondering if she had
any left. Scary. I would never do drugs with her, but those
thoughts still pop up.
Anyway, enough out of me. Thanks for letting me vent. I'm really
scared for my daughter and would appreciate input on how to
handle this situation.
I love this website and everyone on it. It really helped me get
sober and it's helped keep me sober.
Love y'all |
Ldy
Lesa |
Re: My Daughter, age 16, tried meth this weekend
wow....I feel for you. Although I can not really give you
advice....I would truly try to find a professional to help you
though. Someone that may be able to work with her...scare her to
choose the right path. But at least you have a few years that
you control this to some degree. You can have her placed into
rehab. I'm sure there are others on here that can help you more
than I can right now...but I wanted to let you know I read this
and my heart went out to you. Best wishes. |
nano
banano |
Your daughter.
I'm so sorry for what
you're going through.
I only wish my son was still 16....In your position I now know
what I would do, if I could turn back time.
If a family member is a danger to themselves or a danger to
others (in your daughter's case, you could say she is
both....she's harming herself and she physically harmed you.)
...I think you could get a "mental health warrant" or what ever
it's called.....where she can be held for 72 hours, at least,
for a psychological evaluation....then as her parent, you could
place her in rehab and get her counseling.....there are free
programs available if you have no insurance.
You still have some control when they're this age....in a year
or two you won't!
Just IMHO.... |
Tender
hearts
KS |
Re: Your daughter.
You could have been
telling the story of my youngest daughter. After she ran away
with a 24 year old predator (she was 15 at the time), the system
stepped in and took custody of her. She was originally placed in
a group home, but the second night she tried to run away with
another girl. She then got to spend 60 days in a lockdown
facility before she spent a year in a foster home.
It was one of the worst periods of my life. But you know what?
It was the best thing that ever could have happened to us. It
took all of that for her to see that home wasn't so bad, she was
making all the wrong choices, and she's making a lot better
decisions now since she's been back home with me. I was able to
take parenting classes geared towards teens during that period,
we both had individual therapy, and we both learned a lot.
When she came home, the aftercare coordinator had us make up a
behavioral contract that she had to sign and abide by. She was
also subject to random UA's.
Sure we still have our problems, but it is so much better now,
and I thank God that things happened the way that they did. |
sierra
Nights2 |
Re: My Daughter, age 16, tried meth this weekend
HeatherCA, I'm thinking' I remember you. When you were drinking
did you have some kind of altercation with the police? You were
hurt???????
Anyways if this is you, I wondered about you often. You simply
went away.
I'm so sorry about your daughter. I would simply die if my son
hit me. The idea that he would do would hurt more than the
actual pain of being hit. This has to be so hard for you.
Darling, I don't know what to tell you. Lord knows I haven't
done everything right with my son. It's hard.
I'm sure will get lots of good advice. I'm wishing' for you and
your daughter the very best.
Congrads on the clean time, drugs and drinking.
Don't be a stranger anymore. |
| Loraura |
Re: My Daughter, age 16, tried meth this weekend
Quote:
Monday night we had an argument about
it and she got in the face and was screaming F you to me. I
slapped her and she punched me in the face,
Resorting to physical violence with your
children is a serious breakdown of a functional family.
Please seek help for the whole family.
Meth experimentation is not the only thing going on in your
family.
Violence at home, with the people who are supposed to love you
(both ways, her to you and you to her) is just one more thing to
have to cope with. One more thing pushing her TOWARD drug abuse. |
Lives
With
Wolves |
Re: My Daughter, age 16, tried meth this weekend
You need some outside help.
I would look into some sort of Rehab. Are you working? Do you
have insurance? She is still young.
I think she needs help now. |
nine
years
clean |
Re: My Daughter, age 16, tried meth this weekend
Although I know it is wrong, I probably would have slapped my 16
year old kid too if he/she got in my face and started dropping
F-bombs. I probably would have, but I'm not proud to say that.
I would definitely look into family counseling. I know it sounds
ominous, and scary, but there are some good people out there who
can help bring some sanity back into your home.
My prayers are with you. Stay strong. |
| Guene |
Re: My Daughter, age 16, tried meth this weekend
Lori(not 9er), I know getting mad and using your hand to slap
someone is wrong, but Jamie did the same thing to me and let me
tell you when someone is yelling at you using the F-word and
right up in your face, well. I did lose it and I slapped her
too. I felt bad, and I saw a look in her eyes I will never
forget it so long as I live, It was hate, pure hate. I don't
think that she is a violent person, but sometimes things happen
and you just can't help the things you do. I'll have to live
with that the rest of my life, but I can tell you some stories
of what Jamie done, but I won't, I'd rather get over it.
Heather, Let me tell you something, I went through 8 years of
he$$ with my daughter, her father and I did everything we could
to help her and she didn't even care, Please get help now, don't
wait to long, do it while she's young. Find a counselor or do
something, but don't wait. Love and hugs |
loverof
ameth
addict |
Re: My Daughter, age 16, tried meth this weekend
I agree with nano's quote:
Quote:
as her parent, you could place her in
rehab and get her counseling.....there are free programs
available if you have no insurance.
Quote:
You still have some control when
they're this age....in a year or two you won't!
Not to blame you, but she is probably
having issues with your past use and the adjustment period. On top of being a
teenager. The police know her?? That is a good sign that
this is not the first time, the other is the grades dropping.
Having a daughter myself, this is a parents worst nightmare. We
want our children to learn from our mistakes. There are things
we can let them learn by doing, this is not one of them. She
sounds angry with something and she needs help to vent that
anger. Her social crowd sounds like trouble. We can not always
make them stop seeing each other inside school, but we can
outside.
You owe this to your daughter...Keeping your sobriety up is the
best thing for both of you.
Good Luck and Welcome back |
sunshine
skye |
Re: My Daughter, age 16, tried meth this weekend
Hi Heather,
I'm really, really sorry to hear this is happening. A lot of the
other mom's of teens can probably give you some good advise
about your next steps but I wanted to let you know what I saw in
what you wrote.
Unfortunately, she's probably been using meth for the past 6
months or so. And now she's at the point when she's doing it
more often than not and stuff's starting to get out of hand. But
that's just my skeptical opinion, I could be wrong.
Having been the user (I'm 3 years clean too) I'm not sure which
route of action is the best in her case. A lot of us have to get
to the point where we see for ourselves how continuing on that
path is going to ruin us (bottom). I don't know if you can force
someone to quit and have them stay quit without them seeing that
it's the best choice.
If I were you (my son is almost 10) I'd probably do some drastic
stuff at this point. The cops are aware of the issue. Maybe they
have some good ideas. Lockdown? Boot camp (I've already
threatened this with mine)? Remove her from the situation
(relocate her away from her using buddies with family or
something)?
Much peace and love. |
| lax2 |
Re: My Daughter, age 16, tried meth this weekend
Heather Congrats on your Clean Time.... and Stay clean (& sober
) No matter what THAT IS GREAT. I'm thinking you should keep
coming around here, If only to let this $h!t out as it
happens. This is your family HERE too... We are here for each
other. You have clearly got a lot on your plate. You will find
much love and understanding from
all sides of this tough issue. Loved ones, parents, daughters,
and users as well as ex-users come here. I remember you from
when you were getting sober and I am so glad you have stuck with
it. You are surely infinitely more equipped to deal with what is
going on now with your daughter. TTYL. |
sickids
gurl |
Re: My Daughter, age 16, tried meth this weekend
Heck I would slap the shyt outta my daughter if that ever
happened you shouldn't feel bad for that!
But she should be embarrassed for treating her mother that way
totally uncalled for!
It must really hurt. But, she needs help and you are the only
one that can do that for her!
My thoughts are with you and your daughter. |
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