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My daughter, age 16, tried meth this weekend


Heather
CA
My Daughter, age 16, tried meth this weekend
My almost 16 year old daughter tried meth this weekend, and I am so mad and so scared. She said she only did it the one time, but I don't really believe. I worked so hard to get off meth, it took just about everything I had to get off it, and I just can't believe she did it. She even looked me in the eye the night before, and swore she would never do meth, especially after seeing what I went through on it.
Monday night we had an argument about it and she got in the face and was screaming F you to me. I slapped her and she punched me in the face, giving me a black eye and a long scratch down my cheek. I had to push her off of me. After that I called the police, and they searched her stuff and talked to her. They didn't take her in though, due to overcrowding down at juvi. It turns out that they recognized her from some previous contacts they'd had with her. At least they were on my side, and hopefully they will watch out for her if the see her around. It was so embarrassing having the police coming to our house, and it's so embarrassing walking around with a black eye. Those are just so not my kinds of things.
Anyway, my daughter is on total lockdown. I am driving her to school and picking her up. She is not allowed to leave the house, and she cannot use the phone or computer.
She is also failing almost all of her school classes so I made an appointment to meet with the school nurse and school psychologist to help get her back on track at school.
The big problem is that my daughter is almost 16 and is a sophomore in high school, and her ambition in life is to be a squatter, go to shows and get high? What do you do when your child just doesn't care about anything other than being with her loser friends? She keeps threatening to run away, which she did during this last summer. She was gone for five whole days. I had no idea where she was for five days. Of course she thinks it's no big deal. Now she's threatening to run away again, but to not come back.
I told her that if she does drugs and won't live by my rules, she will have to leave. I will not put up with that crap in my life. I have been off meth for almost 3 years and I've been off alcohol for 6 months next week. I will not give that away, although it is a struggle right now.
I know this sounds terrible, but when she told me she did meth, there was this little voice in my heading wondering if she had any left. Scary. I would never do drugs with her, but those thoughts still pop up.
Anyway, enough out of me. Thanks for letting me vent. I'm really scared for my daughter and would appreciate input on how to handle this situation.
I love this website and everyone on it. It really helped me get sober and it's helped keep me sober.
Love y'all
Ldy
Lesa
Re: My Daughter, age 16, tried meth this weekend
wow....I feel for you. Although I can not really give you advice....I would truly try to find a professional to help you though. Someone that may be able to work with her...scare her to choose the right path. But at least you have a few years that you control this to some degree. You can have her placed into rehab. I'm sure there are others on here that can help you more than I can right now...but I wanted to let you know I read this and my heart went out to you. Best wishes.
nano
banano
Your daughter.
I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

I only wish my son was still 16....In your position I now know what I would do, if I could turn back time.

If a family member is a danger to themselves or a danger to others (in your daughter's case, you could say she is both....she's harming herself and she physically harmed you.) ...I think you could get a "mental health warrant" or what ever it's called.....where she can be held for 72 hours, at least, for a psychological evaluation....then as her parent, you could place her in rehab and get her counseling.....there are free programs available if you have no insurance.

You still have some control when they're this age....in a year or two you won't!

Just IMHO....
Tender
hearts
KS
Re: Your daughter.
You could have been telling the story of my youngest daughter. After she ran away with a 24 year old predator (she was 15 at the time), the system stepped in and took custody of her. She was originally placed in a group home, but the second night she tried to run away with another girl. She then got to spend 60 days in a lockdown facility before she spent a year in a foster home.

It was one of the worst periods of my life. But you know what? It was the best thing that ever could have happened to us. It took all of that for her to see that home wasn't so bad, she was making all the wrong choices, and she's making a lot better decisions now since she's been back home with me. I was able to take parenting classes geared towards teens during that period, we both had individual therapy, and we both learned a lot.

When she came home, the aftercare coordinator had us make up a behavioral contract that she had to sign and abide by. She was also subject to random UA's.

Sure we still have our problems, but it is so much better now, and I thank God that things happened the way that they did.
sierra
Nights2
Re: My Daughter, age 16, tried meth this weekend
HeatherCA, I'm thinking' I remember you. When you were drinking did you have some kind of altercation with the police? You were hurt???????
Anyways if this is you, I wondered about you often. You simply went away.

I'm so sorry about your daughter. I would simply die if my son hit me. The idea that he would do would hurt more than the actual pain of being hit. This has to be so hard for you.

Darling, I don't know what to tell you. Lord knows I haven't done everything right with my son. It's hard.

I'm sure will get lots of good advice. I'm wishing' for you and your daughter the very best.

Congrads on the clean time, drugs and drinking.
Don't be a stranger anymore.
Loraura Re: My Daughter, age 16, tried meth this weekend
Quote:
Monday night we had an argument about it and she got in the face and was screaming F you to me. I slapped her and she punched me in the face,

Resorting to physical violence with your children is a serious breakdown of a functional family.
Please seek help for the whole family.
Meth experimentation is not the only thing going on in your family.
Violence at home, with the people who are supposed to love you (both ways, her to you and you to her) is just one more thing to have to cope with. One more thing pushing her TOWARD drug abuse.

Lives
With
Wolves
Re: My Daughter, age 16, tried meth this weekend
You need some outside help.
I would look into some sort of Rehab. Are you working? Do you have insurance? She is still young.
I think she needs help now.
nine
years
clean
Re: My Daughter, age 16, tried meth this weekend
Although I know it is wrong, I probably would have slapped my 16 year old kid too if he/she got in my face and started dropping F-bombs. I probably would have, but I'm not proud to say that.

I would definitely look into family counseling. I know it sounds ominous, and scary, but there are some good people out there who can help bring some sanity back into your home.

My prayers are with you. Stay strong.
Guene Re: My Daughter, age 16, tried meth this weekend
Lori(not 9er), I know getting mad and using your hand to slap someone is wrong, but Jamie did the same thing to me and let me tell you when someone is yelling at you using the F-word and right up in your face, well. I did lose it and I slapped her too. I felt bad, and I saw a look in her eyes I will never forget it so long as I live, It was hate, pure hate. I don't think that she is a violent person, but sometimes things happen and you just can't help the things you do. I'll have to live with that the rest of my life, but I can tell you some stories of what Jamie done, but I won't, I'd rather get over it.

Heather, Let me tell you something, I went through 8 years of he$$ with my daughter, her father and I did everything we could to help her and she didn't even care, Please get help now, don't wait to long, do it while she's young. Find a counselor or do something, but don't wait. Love and hugs
loverof
ameth
addict
Re: My Daughter, age 16, tried meth this weekend

I agree with nano's quote:

Quote:


as her parent, you could place her in rehab and get her counseling.....there are free programs available if you have no insurance.

Quote:


You still have some control when they're this age....in a year or two you won't!

Not to blame you, but she is probably having issues with your past use and the adjustment period. On top of being a teenager. The police know her?? That is a good sign that this is not the first time, the other is the grades dropping.

Having a daughter myself, this is a parents worst nightmare. We want our children to learn from our mistakes. There are things we can let them learn by doing, this is not one of them. She sounds angry with something and she needs help to vent that anger. Her social crowd sounds like trouble. We can not always make them stop seeing each other inside school, but we can outside.

You owe this to your daughter...Keeping your sobriety up is the best thing for both of you.

Good Luck and Welcome back

sunshine
skye
Re: My Daughter, age 16, tried meth this weekend
Hi Heather,

I'm really, really sorry to hear this is happening. A lot of the other mom's of teens can probably give you some good advise about your next steps but I wanted to let you know what I saw in what you wrote.

Unfortunately, she's probably been using meth for the past 6 months or so. And now she's at the point when she's doing it more often than not and stuff's starting to get out of hand. But that's just my skeptical opinion, I could be wrong.

Having been the user (I'm 3 years clean too) I'm not sure which route of action is the best in her case. A lot of us have to get to the point where we see for ourselves how continuing on that path is going to ruin us (bottom). I don't know if you can force someone to quit and have them stay quit without them seeing that it's the best choice.

If I were you (my son is almost 10) I'd probably do some drastic stuff at this point. The cops are aware of the issue. Maybe they have some good ideas. Lockdown? Boot camp (I've already threatened this with mine)? Remove her from the situation (relocate her away from her using buddies with family or something)?

Much peace and love.
lax2 Re: My Daughter, age 16, tried meth this weekend
Heather Congrats on your Clean Time.... and Stay clean (& sober ) No matter what THAT IS GREAT. I'm thinking you should keep coming around here, If only to let this $h!t  out as it happens. This is your family HERE too... We are here for each other. You have clearly got a lot on your plate. You will find much love and understanding from
all sides of this tough issue. Loved ones, parents, daughters, and users as well as ex-users come here. I remember you from when you were getting sober and I am so glad you have stuck with it. You are surely infinitely more equipped to deal with what is going on now with your daughter. TTYL.
 
sickids
gurl
Re: My Daughter, age 16, tried meth this weekend
Heck I would slap the shyt outta my daughter if that ever happened you shouldn't feel bad for that!

But she should be embarrassed for treating her mother that way totally uncalled for!
It must really hurt. But, she needs help and you are the only one that can do that for her!
My thoughts are with you and your daughter.

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