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Adopting granddaughter from family of meth users

Adopting granddaughter from family of meth users
Hello. This is my first time on this message board. I am 38 years old. My ex-husband recently died from meth. My oldest son is an addict. His girlfriend is an addict. Her parent's are addicts of meth and heroin. My sons girlfriend had a baby 5 1/2 months ago.. she (baby) test positive for meth.. the mother also drank until she was 7 months pregnant. The baby has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and the baby lives in a foster home. I work for the state of Oregon as a caseworker for elderly abuse. I will be getting my grand-baby soon. I will be adopting her soon. I do not know what is in store for me. I guess at this point nothing will surprise me. My ex-husband did a great job in raising our son, teaching him a trick of his trade..  . I feel so sad, utterly alone, when it come to what the baby has in store for a later life. I will do all what I can for her.. She is grandma's lil strawberry. I love her with all my heart.
Re: Adopting granddaughter from family of meth users
Hooray for you!!! It's so nice that this little baby has a grandma to take care of her! I'm sure with educating yourself of meth addicted/fetal alcohol syndrome babies, you'll be able to handle whatever IS in store for you and it sounds like you have that type of job that can provide the knowledge.

My friend, last year, took in a meth addicted baby girl the day after she was born. She had about 5 days of detox to go through. The mother has had three or four others taken away but keep getting knocked up......I won't EVEN go there.

This year the adoption went through and we got to be at the little girl's first birthday!

I'm sure you'll do well and happy grandPARENTing!
Re: Adopting granddaughter from family of meth users
Thank you. You sure get support from this little chat. When I try to talk to my relatives about this or even try to share a feeling they roll there eyes at me. Like there so much better then other, or they just don't want to get involved. Sometimes I just feel so much sadness for my little granddaughter. She has been in foster care right after she was born. She has no one to call her own. she has had 3 foster care parents. her mom and dad do visit, but visiting is very limited. it make me just want to cry.. They too just think oh well, If we lose this one, well just replace it by having another one.. My god! What are they thinking?
Re: Adopting granddaughter from family of meth users
You can't worry about the others. Some folks will never get over the fact that even good people end up messed up in drugs.

My daughter, who is the addict in my life, clean 1+ year and doing GREAT, had spent most of her time in the town I grew up in which is fairly affluent. The drug treatment program that my daughter went to is in the town we live in now, (not affluent AT ALL but affordable), and is the place a lot of her friends were sent when their meth use got bad. There were a couple of the parents that really didn't want their 'precious child' intermingling with a bunch of drug addicts in treatment classes! One even referred to them as 'low life drug addicts'...like being a rich addict puts you in a much higher level. PFFFT!!!

Funny when there are folks that believe THEIR kid being addicted isn't the same as a low/middle income kid being addicted! Meth addiction is meth addiction.

You're doing a good, (though scary), thing. I couldn't imagine starting at my age of 44 raising another baby YIKES!!! But, yea, the people who think their better or wonder why you are doing this...WHATEVER. I don't know why people get so uppity about crap that has NOTHING to do with them.

You'll do with what you have and what you know.

And as far as the mom and dad...have they heard of birth control? Aye yi yi! 
micole Re: Adopting granddaughter from family of meth users
God Bless you and all the other Grandma's!
Penel0pe Re: Adopting granddaughter from family of meth users
You are in good company here - lots of grandma's here who will offer you lots of support.

Your granddaughter is lucky to have you.

I would ask social services (Or whatever agency placed her in foster care) to give you all the information they can about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. I'm sure they will be more than happy to provide you with some education, and we are here to provide you with LOTS of support.

Welcome to KCI.
Re: Adopting granddaughter from family of meth users
I am one of those G-moms. I have 2 grandsons I'm raising. A 2 and a 4 year old. There are days I won't lie that you will feel totally overwhelmed. But the rewards far outweigh those tiring days. My little guy just turned 2 Wednesday and he is full of energy from morning to bedtime, so this grandma runs full steam ahead. Please do not let family and/or friends who have no understanding of what you are going through influence your love for this granddaughter. Sending blessings your way that this innocent little victim will find her permanent home with you soon.
You have disabled your PM or I would send you some other helpful websites. Take care and hang in there.
Re: Adopting granddaughter from family of meth users
Wow, that's amazing of you to do this.
Good luck!
dells Re: Adopting granddaughter from family of meth users
Congratulations, you have a lot of blessings coming your way!!
For almost 4 years I raised my precious granddaughter, my daughter is now 15 months in recovery & both she & granddaughter are with me.
Many times other family members injected their negative thoughts, I like to think they were only concerned for me.
You may be in for a lot of work, but all her hugs & kisses will be worth it!!


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