My son is lost to meth...

mom

Well, It has been awhile sense I have been here to talk. A lot has happened to my family in the past little while. I have watched my son go from a loving carefree young man and turn into someone I don't even know. I would like to thank each one of you that responded to my questions before and all the info and advice. My son has gone from a 36 around the waste to a 32 and losing. My brother goes to N.A meetings talked my son into going with him last night. He has not said one word to me about it, but at least he stayed home last night. He has not been staying home. He lost his job the company he works for done a drug test on him and fired him. He has wrecked his truck two other people were in the truck both were hurt. he had a court hearing on that yesterday. I feel so worn out with this whole mess I am not getting any sleep My brother tells me that I am going to have to let go, but I can't this is my son. I had one of my friends to tell me to put him out, I also can't do this when I was a sinner God did not turn his back on me so I am not about to turn my child out. if any body has any advice I would sure appreciate it. I am praying for every one of you.

gillian
marie

Re: My son is lost to meth...

Everyone told me to let go of my husband...keep praying that's what helped me through. Follow your heart. I did and God returned my husband in His time. He's been home with us for 5 months clean and sober! Miracles do happen...the road along is not always easy though!

micole

Re: My son is lost to meth...

Mom, let him go, give him back to God. He is the only one who can help him now. He's still your son and you are still his mother, but right now, he needs more than you can provide.

Letting go does not mean you don't love him, it means you love him more when you give him up for the help he needs.

Another Mom

Guene

Re: My son is lost to meth...

Hello Mom, I too have a daughter who was doing meth and other drugs and drinking too. She lead us on a roller coaster ride for 8 years, we did everything and she did what she wanted, she didn't care if she broke our hearts or not.

This year we said enough is enough and we sold our house and moved to another state. We helped her get a place, gave her our small truck, and said grow up, we can't do this anymore. We let go and let god, in other words we let her take on her own troubles, we let her start growing up. letting go doesn't mean that we don't love our children anymore, it means we love ourselves enough to let go. Believe me nothing you say or do is going to make him quit unless he wants too.

I could tell you some stories about my daughter that would just shock you, let me tell you one, two weeks after she graduated she went to a party, did drugs and was drinking, a guy who was messed up too asked her to drive, well my daughter didn't ever know how to drive and didn't even have a Lic. But she did drive and she lost control and ran into a tree head on, almost died, had to have her whole face rebuilt, after she got out of the hospital I thought god please let this be her awakening, NO, she was picked up 2 weeks later for being drunk in public, the cops called me to come and get her, I said keep her and they said we don't have room. So I could tell you more but I won't.

This is something you must decide, but we couldn't take her stuff anymore and letting her live with us, well she knew she had a safe place no matter what. Well she seems to be doing good, has a job and a new boyfriend and is planning on coming to see us for Christmas. The thing is we knew we were holding her back and she was just killing us inside with all her wrongs, so this worked for us and for her. Hugs.

eyes
open83

Re: My son is lost to meth...

i just thought i would share a little of my story regarding my mother and what she went through.....

i lived at home for a lot of my using, I would take my possessions to the pawn broker and my mom would always go down and get them out before i lost them...then i would do the same thing...i would say i was going to work and not come home for a week...i would lie and manipulate...
she never put me out...
she always stood by me and loved me...

the day came when i told her i was addicted, I started going to NA and today i am almost 10 months clean...
I'm still at home...

she is so happy and she does not need stress at night, she actually sleeps these days she tells me...it can happen for you too....pray, keep your faith and rely on it...
GODS time is a hard thing to handle sometimes...but we must trust that god will care for us...you and yours will be in my prayers...

do you think that your son might come here and talk with us?

much love and concern...

jes78

Re: My son is lost to meth...

i can't imagine a mom's pain, now that i have one of my own. alanon helped my mom so much. she learned she really couldn't do anything for me. good luck and god bless

ian

Sorry to hear about your daughter, it's a real hard situation to put you in and completely unfair.
Unfortunately, she's still your daughter, in a way it's hard and easy at the same time to just let go and wash your hands of the whole situation, I'm sure you heard a whole lot of horror stories about what people who do drugs do.

You can't keep her from doing what she does and you can't control or fix her, that's something she has to do by herself, but when she does decide it's time she'll probably need your help and maybe right now you are completely different people but you can't let this relationship drift apart even more because of it IMO. Not that means that you should 'enable' her or cover up for her or whatever, a part of using and quitting drugs is the lows and consequences, but it's not worth losing a lifetime relationship with your daughter and hopefully she will find her way sooner than later.

A lot of chemically dependant individuals do change, it's hard work and it usually gets worst before it gets better but don't give up.

I made a lot of mistakes in my life and hurt a lot of people that cared about me, I don't want to get into too much details but after 9 years of pretty hardcore heroin addiction mistakes me and my parents both made left us apart probably and torn the family apart to a point we don't meet or talk really and keep in mind this is a long lasting consequence a lot have changed in my life since, I went back to school, got married and we're planning on starting a family someday. Don't let it happen in your family, I don't think it's worth giving up on. I'm sure one day she'll get sick of being sick and tired, maybe not today or tomorrow, but keep the relationship alive somehow.

That's just my experience though, seems that a lot of people had completely different ones.

Good luck to you both and take care,

lori
T007

Re: My son is lost to meth...

You know I felt the same way when my son was using. I had soooo many people tell me kick him out, quit enabling him etc.... I thought I can't kick him out he will die. So the longer I kept him under my wing God couldn't do what he needed to do. I had someone about 3 years ago in the chat room ask me if I wanted to keep Gods blessing from my son. Of course i said No she said that's what your doing by not letting Go. Letting go doesn't mean loving less it means we TRUST God to take it from here. OH!!! believe me it isn't easy but necessary. Its a hard place to be I know, its wearing, you feel hopeless. I do know one thing God loves your son more than you do, let him have him. Don't stop loving him, don't give up on him, just set some guide lines stick to it. If he falls let God pick him up then when God says there ya go mom then take him.
((((((((( hug)))))))))

sickids
gurl

Re: My son is lost to meth...

I wish I had advice for you but i don't.

You'll be in my thoughts.....

Keep on keeping on-

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