When do you give up on an addict?

Captain
24

So those of you who read my story know that I have a severe addict living with me, one besides myself.

When I met Bob he was married and I was also in a serious relationship. All four of us often hung out. Bob's wife and my boyfriend ended up sleeping together, and leaving for Vegas with each other. Bob and I were good friends through all of this, we talked everyday, we were both in the same situation. I had always had a little crush on Bob, but never acted on it. Months later we both ended up trying to forgive our exes.

Bob seemed to have everything, a wife, two beautiful daughters, a house, a really nice car, and a good job. I started hearing rumors that his wife had kicked him out on the streets for being a drug addict. She did. He was living in various motels with his tweeker friends, he was staying up for 10days, the only thing he had left was his car. He must have pissed off the wrong person because in August when he was standing outside of a motel, he got sucker punched in the jaw. He was careflighted out of the scene. He was unconscious for 5 days, jaw broken in 5 places, skull cracked open, and had a 20% chance of living. He woke up to his wife standing over him her first words were "You would have been better off dead". After this he moved out of state to stay with his parents because he was unable to take care of himself and his injuries.

One day I was bored and decided to test his phone asking if it was still his number. It was, and we talked practically non stop from then on. He was sober because he had no drug connections where he was living. We talked 6 hours a day, he told me how he never wanted to go back to that life, how he missed his daughters, and how he always knew he wanted to be with me. He flew out here to be with me. It seemed perfect because we had been friends for so long. It was great when he first got here, we were using but we were always together, he came home every night. I have always had an image in my mind of the stereotyped "drug addict", never actually seeing it. If you saw Bob you would think he had been using for years. Not true. He only first tried crystal meth one year ago. He was a bit of a coke head before that. I had just first tried it too, and I was there when he first tried crystal, he didn't even know how to use the pipe. A year later I still have everything I had then plus a lot more, I have accomplished a lot in one year. He has lost everything, his marriage, his daughters, his house, most of his friends, his job, even his car was impounded.

I took a picture of him on the first day he got here and I took one of him yesterday. IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THE SAME PERSON!!! He is soo skinny, his face is extremely sucked up. He is exactly what I thought a "drug addict" would look like. We have been getting high off and on since he got here, but have been on a semi-regular sleep schedule. This time he has just refused to stop, he wont go to bed. On about his 6th day of being up he stopped coming home, I am suddenly not allowed where he is going, there was weird text msgs on my cell phone that he had been using. I have tried to talk to him but then I am "trying to be his mother, trying to control him".

Its hard for me to see him as this kind of person, because I have seen him when he is not like this. Do I just give up? If I completely kick him out, he will be back to living on the streets like he was months ago. He was my friend for a long time before we were ever anything more, do I just abandon him? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

vctry7