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Why does my boyfriend love me today and hate me tomorrow?

sadinca Meth addict behavior or mood change question...
My BF can care about me one day and be nice and easy to talk to and then after we have a little disagreement or for whatever reason ABSOLUTELY HATES me the next day! What is going on? Is this the drug or is this his true feelings? Of course you don't know him so you don't know his feelings for me (12 years together and 2 kids) BUT have you experienced this at all? Does this even make sense?
Re: Meth addict behavior or mood change question...
Welcome Sadinca.

Yes it makes perfect sense.

Before my hubby got deep into his using - he was happy and a joy to be around one day (when he would use) and a complete ass and blamed me for everything the next (when he was coming down).

It's one hell of a roller coaster loving an addict. I'm sorry you're having to go through this.
hyg436 Re: Meth addict behavior or mood change question...
I wonder the same thing sometimes. My experience with this is that I know that meth has made my BF very edgy. He would lash out at me over the smallest things. I never understood until I found out he had been using. I guess the tweaking just made him into something he wasn't. He was normally nice, even tempered...then he gradually became more and more ill and I just couldn't do anything right it seemed. I look back on a road trip from h#$$ and realize now what caused the screaming that seemed to come out of nowhere and lasted for miles. I don't know if this helps at all, but I do know that it changed his personality, especially towards me. Maybe that's why he's acting that way towards you??? I just know that it's not a "nice" drug. Not for long anyways.
hyg436 Re: Meth addict behavior or mood change question...
Thank you NEWLYWED. That explained my BF's behavior to a tee recently. It's at least nice to know why it all happened. Moodiness is not a fun aspect of this at all. It's incredibly hard to bear.
sadinca Re: Meth addict behavior or mood change question...
Sorry about that -- I'm just so frustrated! He is not in recovery. He uses more now than ever before. Of course I don't know how much and it would all be lies if he tried to tell me anyway. But, I see the difference in him. The loss of weight, the isolation, the irritability, the total lack of caring, BUT what I just don't understand is the HATE that seems to come from him sometimes. Oh, and just for me. So I guess that's what I'm asking about -- is it a characteristic of a meth addict. I believe he was a meth addict when I first met him - I just was so naive and didn't know anything about it. I do know now though that this is the worse I have ever seen him. But still caring one minute - a total evil a** the next!
vctry7 Re: Meth addict behavior or mood change question...
is it a characteristic of a meth addict.

Yes. It is the cycle. When you are high, especially on the first day or two, everything is good and right in the world. When you are coming down everything is wrong.

He takes it out on you because he can. His drug buddies might not want to hang around with the next time they have some dope if he goes off on them. He can't do it to the stranger in the store because he might go to jail. You are there and you are willing to take it. Only you can break the cycle for yourself.

Re: Meth addict behavior or mood change question...
meth is seriously robbing your addict of a brain chemical that allows the feeling good--dopamine....thus the moods and different personality.

Loraura has a great article on dopamine and the brain on meth. welcome to KCI & I'm sorry your addict is so controlled by this drug.
Re: Meth addict behavior or mood change question...
That type of behavior was one of my signs that he was again using.
Happy one day, taking on the world, then...
So down, so angry, hating himself and everyone else.

That's Meth, and, I do agree that Meth gets way too much credit, like if he's prone to being an A$$hole, then Meth will make it worse.
But under that. there is still an A$$hole to contend with...


Good Luck!
Re: Meth addict behavior or mood change question...
First of all, I am certainly no expert. But I CAN tell you that my guy is almost the exact same way. When he is coming down (or whatever you want to call it) he is hell to live with. We fight, he yells, everything is MY fault for at least a couple of days. Then (the part that drives me crazier than anything) he acts as if NOTHING happened at all!!! All the while, my feelings are still hurt & I am still mad. Now days, he pretty much just stays in the bedroom for a couple of days until he feels like coming out. I don't know if that is better or worse, but at least he isn't yelling at me. Anyway, I would say that your man's behavior is fairly typical. And like it has been said to me over and over ... you don't have to live with it. You can tell him to get clean or get out. Don't let it run your life like it is running his. (Easier said than done...I AM an expert in that department.) Just know that you aren't alone. That has helped me more than anything.
Re: Meth addict behavior or mood change question...
meth doesn't cause you to hate someone but it does cause you to not love them. i have borderline personality disorder but meth made it a 100 times worse.

meth causes you to really not care about anything or anyone. if your SO can't deal with something, you're like ah well, next. if you don't want to do something, you just don't do it because you could care less about the consequences. it's a false sense of peace that pulled me in for a long time. thankfully, losing a lot finally woke me up.
Re: Meth addict behavior or mood change question...
I asked him today if withdrawing from me and abandoning me, which hurts me, helps him feel better when he's "depressed".........

He said, "no" but he also said that he's not trying to hurt me even though he knows he's hurting me with the rejection....

See, it's crazy-that is NOT NORMAL and that sends me back to thinking "it's his disease-sickness"----it's HIS. What we non-users think is hateful-is not what the addict's think is hate.

Psychologists should be free to meth addicts and lovers of em!

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