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Husband in rehab
| 4molly |
Husband in Rehab
My husband has been in
rehab for 21 days today. He is doing wonderful. I fly out for
family week on Jan 1. I am excited.
It has been hard as we have two small children. This probably
seems strange, but I do not know how to live in the peace. I
have lived in turmoil for so long that his recovery just seems
plain strange. I am reading books on codependency, but I feel so
detached and strange because I don't know how to feel.
How do you change and learn to live normal again? My patience
with my kids is still nonexistent. I am still really frustrated
by everything, and yet I am so THANKFUL that my husband is
seeking help. What is wrong with me? |
| Replies... |
Bent
But
Not
Broken1 |
Re: Husband in Rehab
Molly-
Quote:
but I feel so detached and
strange because I don't know how to feel.
You don't remember "normal" but you do
still know how to feel. You love your kids-that's feeling. You
get frustrated-that's feeling. You get happy-that's feeling. You
feel peace-that is feeling.
His struggle isn't over yet, rehab is just the start. That's why
I emailed you that file. I felt it would help you along with
your CR materials. Keep looking up and you'll have the best
guidance around on how to deal with things-moment by moment,
day-by-day.
Are you feeling just a bit lost this Christmas with him gone to
rehab and no contact? Christmas is stressful for so many
anyhow-so the holiday could be part of it too. New Year's is
coming up...will he be home by then? Are the kids going out with
you?
Molly, with all you have taken on like a true warrior, look at
how far you've come in the battle already. Time flew by. You are
strong and you are going to do fine and so is he.
Just for today...
Focus on now, and not so much the future. Face things as they
happen. Keep your knowledge up-to-date on how he might be
feeling and doing. When you go visit at rehab they will be a
great help also.
I'm proud of you Molly and your husband. You know my prayers are
going to continue for you all.
PS: Try and gratitude list/journal. Also, because you know the
peace of God, you do know peace....I see you know thankfulness.
You know more than you think you do already. This is some nerves
setting in.
|
kmb
2006 |
Re: Husband in Rehab
Absolutely nothing is
wrong with you. Remember, there are 2 people in recovery in your
relationship, and you have to treat yourself like you are in
rehab too.
Drama withdrawals? I know them well. You get so used to
functioning in chaos that you begin inventing chaos. Turn the
focus on you... I know, it's hard. Your mind is still on him and
the kids.
When my husband went to rehab in August, I kept wandering around
wondering what the h3ll I was going to do with myself now. I did
everything to keep myself busy, and dropped the stuff I didn't
like. I'm teaching myself to cook. I painted the entire interior
of my house and learned to patch drywall (got the holes covered
up before he came home to see his wreckage).
Impatience with the kids... I'll get back to you on that. But,
it has gotten better as I've begun lowering my shield and
weapons.
There is life after meth... for us loved ones too!
Oh, and congrats to hubby on his 21 days!!! |
See also:
Husband being released from rehab - Any advice?
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