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When does it become rock bottom?

dbkrjk1 When does it become rock bottom?
When dose it become rock bottom? I have not posted for sometime because I was blind or I had hoped that my son was not using. Wrong- over the past weeks I became aware of things and began noticing his whole attitude changes- To mean, mean. This is not the child that I gave birth to it was a monster I have never met.
Please understand that over the years I have supported and yes,  if you want to call it I enable him to buffalo me.
Tonight I decided to do the home drug test even though i knew what I would find. It became a mess in this home. He was angry mad and did things that i have never seen before. Reluctantly he took the test after a struggle or two. I told him that I hoped that he was right that he was clean. Please throw that in my face and I would gladly take the punishment of accusing him. I really did not want to see my 27 year old son totally naked and insisting that i watch. Which I did not. As I guessed it was hot.

He still denied the fact and insisted that it has been over a month since he did anything. Please tell me the amount of time it stays in a person system? I would like to believe that these test are at least for the most part accurate. After another confrontation he left. He may or may not come home. I told him that I love him and want to see him become a great dad and makes us proud. He now wants to talk or at least that is what he said. What words can I give him .

Please give me good advise to handle this better than what I have in the past. I know in my heart that he can be the person I once knew and he is in there somewhere. I did not give birth to this monster.
Loraura Re: When does it become rock bottom?
Meth is detectable in urine tests for a max of 3-5 days.

False positives are possible, but not probable unless he was taking medication that is a known false positive risk.

Amphetamines - Substances or Conditions which can cause false positives
Ephedrine, pseudoephedrine, propylephedrine, phenylephrine, or desoxyephedrine
(Nyquil, Contact, Sudafed, Allerest, Tavist-D, Dimetapp, etc)
Phenegan-D, Robitussin Cold and Flu, Vicks Nyquil
Over-the-counter diet aids with phenylpropanolamine (Dexatrim, Accutrim)
Over-the-counter nasal sprays (Vicks inhaler, Afrin)
Asthma medications (Marax, Bronkaid tablets, Primatine Tablets)
Prescription medications (Amfepramone, Cathne, Etafediabe, Morazone, phendimetrazine, phenmetrazine, benzphetamine, fenfluramine, dexfenfluramine, dexdenfluramine, Redux, mephentermine, Mesocarb, methoxyphenamine, phentermine, amineptine, Pholedrine, hydroymethamphetamine, Dexedrine, amifepramone, clobenzorex, fenproyorex, mefenorex, fenelylline, Didrex, dextroamphetamine, methphenidate, Ritalin,pemoline, Cylert, selegiline, Deprenyl, Eldepryl, Famprofazone) Kidney infection, kidney disease, Liver disease, diabetes

(The above information can be found at www.erowid.org/chemicals/...ting.shtml)

I would check the manufacturer's website of the test you specifically used for more information.

Honestly, isn't your gut already telling you all you need to know, though? 
dbkrjk1 Re: When does it become rock bottom?
Thank you for telling the facts on the drug. You are right about gut feelings and I now have to face the fact. I was hoping that the 12 step program and the NA meeting were getting through. He did so well for sometime in both of the programs and seemed to be learning and healing inside.
I know I must learn to deal with the pain of this addiction. It is funny we always think that it would not happen to us but little do we know it is closer to us than what we know.
Every waking moment I will wonder if I will get the call that he is no longer here. I pray to god that will never happen and he will wake up and see that there is something more out there.

The funny thing is I can not turn my back on him but I understand that I can not control what is happening. So I feel lost and helpless as a parent. i am sure this evening he went to a place that he will find the comfort that he feels he needs and it is not here. Unfortunately he doesn't realize that the comfort he is seeking out will kill him.  He has lost everything at this moment including his daughter and I have to hope that she will be his will to clean up. The only thing we have not done at this moment is change the locks and I feel that it is the last option that we have. It will be the hardest thing that I have ever done in my life and I am scared that it will do no good. It is like he is on a fast train and there are no brakes to stop it. I am sure that I am not the only person who has felt this way. I also feel so angry I want to go out and just beat the crap out of the drug dealers and the people who he deals with. I want to get in to my car and search street by street for him and bring him back home. But I would know what I would say. The sad thing he is and can be a great person and father and he is throwing all this away for a fix. Something that makes you feel good for a short time and the rest of the time you feel like crap.
Thanks for listening and if anyone has any advise please write ready to listen.

Sfj Re: When does it become rock bottom?
There is a search feature on the main page of this forum.
I would suggest that you read the Tips from Cassandra.
They are excellent IMHO.
May I strongly recommend the book, "Crystal Meth They Call It Ice" by Dr. Mary Holley, she is also the founder of "Mothers Against Meth."

Do's and Don'ts 
Re: When does it become rock bottom?
J, the tips from Cassandra is for when you are staying with your "recovering husband addict".

Re: When does it become rock bottom?
J, the tips from Cassandra is for when you are staying with your "recovering husband addict".
Not really....I found useful points when dealing with my step-daughter too.

Re: When does it become rock bottom?
I read your message and feel your pain. I know exactly what you are going thru. I thought tough love at one point in my son's life was the right thing to do, now I'm not so sure. My son Austin, who turned 22 in April of this year took his life in August. He had a 10 year struggle with drug addiction and a 6 year love affair with crystal meth. I miss him so much. His father and I tried everything. It was his choice in life to use. Read his life story. Visit his memorial, share with your son. You do not want it to end this way. www.austin-hesse.last-memories.com

dbkrjk1 Re: When does it become rock bottom?
Thank you for responding. It is the most difficult decision I have ever had to make. As a parent you want to make all the pain go away and this time it is not easy. I can only pray that something will get his attention before it is to late. I can only hope the he will realize that there is so much life out there.

I am so sorry for your loss and send you all my love and prayers.

Re: When does it become rock bottom?
Sfj gave you excellent advice and I do hope you read the articles of Cassandra's, the link, and the 2 books he suggested. All the anger in the world isn't going to help your son get clean or stay clean. That anger is understandable, but it's only eating away at you and making you unhealthy at a time when you need to have a clear and level head so you can focus on helping your son.

I'm not saying enable him...just take a deep breathe, read all the info. Sfj suggested, and look for your "window" and his moment of clarity when you can speak with him from the point of love. He will calm down and come back home, even though he may be using again. He can always make a clean start again just keep the communication open.

Remember, as long as there is breath, there is hope! We do recover!

I'm praying for you and him. Please keep us posted and vent anytime you wish. We aren't going to blame you or throw past actions in your face. KCI is full of so much wisdom, support, and care for active addicts, addicts in recovery, and those who love them.

dbkrjk1 Re: When does it become rock bottom?
Thank you and I will read them. I will come back often for advise and sanity.

I realize that he will come back but i only hope that he will be willing to talk. There is life out there without drugs and i pray that he can see that.

I must go to work for now because I have realized that sitting here thinking about all of this is not going to cure the problem and there aren't any easy answers. Thank you for listening.

Re: When does it become rock bottom?
It's frustrating that there isn't a specific remedy for this situation. What I want to suggest is that you love him, but you definitely let him know that what he's doing is unacceptable.

I firmly believe that the problem with many men I've known is that no one ever told them that what they were doing was wrong. Their parents just let them walk all over them. Perhaps it was fear. I don't know.

Your family will be in my prayers.

See also:

Does this mean he is getting closer to the bottom using meth?

How to help a Tweaker / Tweeker Topics

How to help a meth addict

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