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Does meth take away feelings or compassion?
LLounge |
Does meth take
away feelings or compassion for another human
being?
Your ability to be compassionate and
sensitive towards others? I just returned from a trip to
GA where I met a friend of mine that I've known for 23
years. He'd relentlessly pursued me for 2 months and I
agree to fly out to see him. When he picked me up from
the airport, he gave me a quick kiss. After that, that
was about it for any affection. I got to GA on Friday,
and by Sunday morning he was wanting to take me to my
mom's house. His reasoning was "I just can't handle this
right now. I've got too much going on in my life right
now." I was absolutely flabbergasted! Not meaning to
sound vain, but I don't think it was my looks as we've
known each other for so long he knows what I look like.
During the entire 45 min. drive to my mom's house on
Sunday morn, I couldn't stop crying. It wasn't a
"sympathy attempt" either. I was just so
disappointed and sad as I didn't know what I had done to
cause such an about face. And he never would tell me
either. He was just so cold, so calculated, so
unfeeling! He even said "I don't have a heart anymore.
No, that's not true, my heart is 5 times its normal size
due to the 20 yrs of meth use."
PLEASE someone enlighten me! I'm still devastated by all
of this. I'm a very caring, compassionate person and
this has hurt my heart tremendously. I've wondered, "Was
it me?!"
(BTW, what prompted him to take me home was on Saturday
night while he slept, I went to touch his leg as he was
uncovered and I wanted to make sure he wasn't cold. I
barely was able to feel his leg hairs before he was in
my face and screaming at me to "Not ever sneak up on him
like that again! I've had guns, knives pulled on me in
the middle of the night... don't EVER f*ckin' do that
again!" It about blew my hair back how violently he
reacted!)
Sorry for all the rambling... guess I got a bit carried
away.
Anyway, is it me or did the meth take away his ability
to have any feelings or compassion for another human
being? He certainly wasn't the person that I've known
for all these years. Thank you in advance for your
input. |
Replies... |
forget
suzette |
Re: Does meth take away feelings or compassion for another human being?
it's not you.....he can't do his dope
with you there.
he's a nice enough guy to not try and get you strung out
too. he's embarrassed, and ashamed....... the
speed is covering it. |
SOS
1988 |
Re: Does meth take away feelings or compassion for another human being?
has he been using meth for 20
years?....daaaa&&&mn surprised he's still alive...yeah,
meth will make you something you're not, makes you
crazy and oblivious to everything....well save
one...more meth....everything besides tweeking is in the
background....not real....sounds like someone's lost
their mind |
imlost
inky |
Re: Does meth take away feelings or compassion for another human being?
Quote:
Anyway, is it me or did the meth
take away his ability to have any feelings or
compassion for another human being?
Yes. In my experience, yes.
You say things because they are the right thing to say-
the expected thing- you act because that is what you
know you are supposed to do- but mostly, you are
the walking dead. That is the best way I can describe
it. You don't feel - not as someone who isn't
using would. Everything is distant.
About the only time you feel alive is when you are
scoring, you are screwing, or you are angry.
At least that is how it was for me. The rest of the time
is just there. Nothing is felt. |
LLounge |
Re: Does meth take away feelings or compassion for another human being?
He told me that the last time he used
meth was on the 4th of July, except for one slip-up in
Sept. Am I blind? Maybe he is still using, I don't know.
I believed him when he said he was straight, but I
wasn't looking for any signs that he wasn't. But he
certainly was "oblivious" to any feelings that I had and
couldn't seem to get me out of there fast enough.
I guess there's absolutely no hope of any sort of
relationship there. How tragic, because he certainly
used to be such a wonderful, kind and caring person. |
Loraura |
Re: Does meth take away feelings or compassion for another human being?
Does it really matter WHAT the reason
for his behavior was?
He is who he is, and who he is now is @#%$ scary.
So don't be a volunteer for more misery. |
luve
piphany |
Re: Does meth take away feelings or compassion for another human being?
Yes, his heart is gone and sounds
like he can't find it right now...may take years.
In short, forget about him. I'm not being coarse or
uncaring-believe me, I've got double size heart these
days and it's sooooo touchy that I felt your sadness in
every word because I experience the shock of the "lost
heart" syndrome in an addict I love everyday-when I
think there might be a speck left...I'm blown away to
find that there is none. |
vctry7 |
Re: Does meth take away feelings or compassion for another human being?
Quote:
Does meth take away your heart?
Yes. I could feel hate, but I
could not feel love - at least not like I was supposed
to.
I could not feel others pain. It was either that or I
just didn't care. I'm not sure at this point.
I didn't care what people thought about me, either. |
trying2
bme |
Re: Does meth take away feelings or compassion for another human being?
Quote:
Does meth take away your heart?
No, It just makes it so you can't
hear or feel your heart.
And what is worse.....is ( for me ) you will never feel
it the same ever again. |
lynne |
Re: Does meth take away feelings or compassion for another human being?
it DOES matter that you understand
what happened to you!
if you understand WHY he was this way you will feel
better about yourself! some said forget why he was this
way run. but you are hurt and an explanation may make
you feel better about what was a terrible experience.
it was not your fault.
meth addicts are this way! the ex i had would have the
coldest look in his eyes when dealing with me sometimes.
i was chilled. deep inside he was a sweet man who loved
his grand nephew and had compassion for animals. but
when he and i lived together and he was back deep into
meth, he could not get rid of me fast enough! and HE had
been the one asking ME to live together.
i am on this board slowly healing from being "had". he
pursued me and then when i fell in love and moved in
with him i was something to be gotten rid of in the end.
only be glad that you suffered just a weekend and not
more.
i am sorry you experienced this. my ex used a long time
too and by then i think they feel their life is ruined
and everyone can screw off. their emotions and maturity
are stunted and it just ends up sucking for the non user
trying to establish a healthy intimate relationship.
it was not you. it was him. the jerk asking you to come
all that way then being a dick. you poor thing. |
Guene |
Re: Does meth take away feelings or compassion for another human being?
Quote:
Does meth take away your heart?
Sad but so true, My daughter
turned into someone I never knew, she became mean,
yelling all the time, hateful, not the girl I knew, I'm
so sorry, it's hard to see someone you care about or
even love become someone else. Hugs Bobbie |
soso
confused |
Re: Does meth take away feelings or compassion for another human being?
Hi Hon,
I understand your pain, I have felt it. My addict and I
have 30 years together, and a marriage and kids. I
thought I knew him very well. Some of the things he is
capable of doing now amaze me. He was almost the
complete opposite of the person he is today. I don't get
it. I hope it is the meth because I don't want to accept
that he is this person on his own.
Good luck to you and I would advise you to stay away if
you can. My life is a living hell wanting this man to be
who he was before. I know he will never be and it hurts
so much.
You didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't
cure it. |
Pink
Anne |
Re: Does meth take away feelings or compassion for another human being?
Does meth take away your heart?
I think it does. I know it did to mine.
My heart changed and gave up on loving the only man I
ever fully loved and cared since childhood. I knock him
down from the pedestal where I held so up for almost 25
years.
It was not easy. The hellish rollercoaster of emotions
he put me through the years. The humiliating situations
that robbed my self esteem. And the most funny, my
willingness to give up and be an addict like him. And
how funny this meth is... not even when we were
together, I NEVER felt the "oneness" with him-- the very
essence I was looking for. Not even with intense mind
blowing intimacies. I almost got destructed. Luckily
there was enough saneness left for me to realize and
bolt out.
Now, I would be lying if I don't admit to "craving" once
in while. The triggers (thanks to reading and lurking
here, I know and can identify them now ) are just there
and often so hard to resist. But for 5 months now, I'm
proud to say, " I'M CLEAN ".
Reading someone here said that you can never be the same
after Meth scares me though. First and foremost, for me;
I've become very irritable and depressive. And the
constant headache ( is this normal?). I used to love
books and read like crazy--I lost that now. Is that a
change of heart ?
The addict that I loved ? He become cyclical manic
depressive. Evasive and blaming everyone around him.
Which is too bad, he used to be so smart, loving and
faithful. I wish he can be the same when he finally
turns around. Not for me, but for his sake cause no one
could ever love him now as he is -- a meth head. |
LLounge |
Re: Does meth take away feelings or compassion for another human being?
I can't thank you all enough for your
feedback. It has helped me to realize that it "wasn't
me". I don't have the highest of self confidence anyway,
so to walk away (or better yet, be pushed away) not
knowing was murder on me.
And for all of you who have experienced this personally,
my God I don't know how you did it! One weekend for me
was hell. You're stronger than you know!
And for all of the ex-meth users, my heart goes out to
you. Positive thoughts and sincere well wishes sent your
way. In addition, you TOO are stronger than you know!
Thanks again! My heart is a bit lighter today than it
was yesterday. |
lynne |
Re: Does meth take away feelings or compassion for another human being?
some of us chicks are a bit frail and
sweet and we really care too much about people. so when
we get jerked around like that we are so hurt and
confused.
some people are tough. they shrug it off. hey he was an
ass----. but some of us are not that way.
we get sooo hurt cause we care sometimes too much. we
are way too sweet. then we blame ourselves automatically
as we think not enough of ourselves, i think.
it was him the meth and had nothing to do with you, to
reiterate. |
trying
2bme |
Re: Does meth take away feelings or compassion for another human being?
Quote:
some people are tough. they shrug
it off. hey he was an ass
I have read alot here in in the past
few days, and I would like to bring up a point.
Guys are not the only addicts that are cruel and mean.
My Ex wife did the same cruel things as men do, and men
might not show it.... but it cuts us just as deep.
And for me.... Its a wound that will never heal, one
that I carry in every relationship I have been in since
our break up. Woman are not the only ones that get
emotionally beat down......We have hearts also |
Meth
Phobia |
Re: Does meth take away feelings or compassion for another human being?
Hello there...I am so sorry to hear
your story and I can feel your pain...
But meth is a horrible horrible horrible (x1000) thing
for anyone - both the addict and their loved ones...
And it NOT only takes away your heart...it takes away
everything - even death.
Educate yourself and know what you're getting yourself
into should you decide to ride this out...
Love and strength to you... |
LLounge |
Hey, trying2bme?
I absolutely concur with you! This is
not a gender specific thing. It can and does hurt men
just as much as it hurts women. Just so happens, my
experience was a male addict hurting me, a female
non-addict. But that doesn't lessen the pain when the
tables are turned.
I'm deeply sorry for the hurt that was caused you, and
the fact that you're male certainly doesn't diminish nor
lessen your ability to feel just as much, if not more,
than we do. |
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See also:
Hard time having compassion for the addict
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