KCI The Anti_Meth Site

Is he still using meth?

quietlonely alone2003	Is he still using meth? I would like advice, suggestions, and comments from anyone who'd like to reply. My boyfriend used to make meth in Iowa, till 2002, when he was caught and given probation. When he entered my life in 2003, he told me he didn't do it anymore, and like an idiot, I believed him. I had never been around meth, didn't know anything about it (still don't, only know what I've read.) He has days when he is wonderful, fun, loving, easy to get along with. Then he has days when he is Satan himself. The past five days have been like that, you can't talk to him, he is grouchy, uncommunicative. He wants to sleep a lot, his face is all broke out in big acne like pimples. However, his appetite never diminishes. He has always had a big sex drive, and the only time that seems to change is when he is "really tired" such as the past couple of days. He holds down a job though, and he is drug tested once a year, which he passes. I have not been able to find any drugs, thanks to your site I have searched drawers, ink pens, the car...everywhere I can think of. He also never takes money with him to work, I pick up his check and I am always with him when he gets gas or anything he needs money for. Am I being just too worried---is he just a naturally moody person (as my mother suggests), or is it likely he is back on meth (or hasn't stopped)? Also, his teeth are awful, he has already pulled 2 himself (they just basically fall out), and he has 2 more loose and ready to fall out. But could this be from past meth usage? Any advice you can give would be helpful. Thank you so much. I forgot to add, that he "chews" on his cheeks constantly, and he has these "leg spasms" of some sort when he is asleep. Every minute or so, his legs "jerk." There are some nights this doesn't happen, some nights it does. Are these signs? Also, WHAT IS TWEAKING?? I keep hearing this term, but I don't know what it means.
Replies...
imlost inky	Re: Is he still using meth? He could be or he could not be. Really what you have described could indeed be from past meth use. Hard to say. If I had to guess, as he has you pick up his check, as he is not hiding money from you, you are not having money missing, nothing pawned from the house, I would guess not. Very well could be damage from past meth use. Tweaking is when you get wired for sound and fixate on some kind of activity- coloring, cleaning, tinkering, sex, whatever. You get one thing and stay with it for hours.
luve piphany	Re: Is he still using meth? Could you perhaps suggest he go in for a full physical? If he has these problems from past meth use, he would be best served if he had some medical treatment. 2003 was 4 years ago....that's a long time to have side effects. A long ole time to have acne... any adult who has acne should look at having some tests done. How did he get clean? The chemicals to make meth definitely can cause a lot of problems...haven't heard of anyone who cooked the demonbastard drug that didn't use it but suppose that's possible. He would probably have a bit more money if he was cooking...of course, then he would have access to dope without you. See if you can't get him to a doctor.
mel	Re: Is he still using meth? Have you explained your concerns to him? Maybe he would agree to go to a doctor if you explained why you are worried about him. See what kind of reaction you get. That will probably tell you which path to follow.
quietlonely alone2003	Re: Is he still using meth? No, he won't go to a doctor! I've asked him to go get a physical and he gets mad and gives me the silent treatment for a week. I'm sure he isn't cooking meth now, because he's always around here when he isn't working, and I keep VERY CLOSE eyes on what he's doing. We don't drink coffee so we don't have coffee filters, which I understand you have to have, we don't use cold medicines which I also understand you have to have.....maybe it's just me, it's just that from what I've read and the way he acts, I'm worried. This isn't anything new, this has been going on since he moved in in 2003. He has such a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde personality, the skin break out, the teeth, the sucking on his jaw, it just sounds like everything I've read about meth use.
quietlonely alone2003	Re: Is he still using meth? I forgot to ad, he HATES to talk about his past drug use. Anytime I try to ask questions about it, he gets mad. I know he has used pot since he was in high school (he's now 50), but he supposedly hasn't used that since 2002 either. I don't know how he took meth, all I know is that he decided if other people could make it he could too, so he started making and using it himself. Then he got caught when he went around to too many stores to get the cold stuff needed to make it, he was caught on camera, they alerted the cops, who stopped him, and that was that. But probation was all he got, and he was caught with the stuff to make it, and he got caught lying to police! Convicted on 3 different charges, got probation! His brother who lives in the same state also got caught with the stuff to make it, and he got probation as well. What's with Iowa anyway?? Don't they care???
mel	Re: Is he still using meth? Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde, I definitely get that one. That's how my ex was, when he was on meth. I was convinced he had bi-polar disorder and he even got on meds for it. I later found out he was using. I'm not saying he's not bi-polar, but I believe his meth use was the big cause of his D. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde personality. Either that, or the result of all his previous years of meth use. It's a tough call to make. I wish I could give you better advice. He never had an acne problem though and his teeth are not in too bad of shape for a 38 year old. But he always used needles. I don't know if that makes a difference or not. I could always tell when he was high. His eyes looked different and he bounced from one thing to another, never completing anything. He would stay up late, or even all night. Then the next day he was mean, then depressed, then all he did was sleep.
quietlonely alone2003	Re: Is he still using meth? After this last week of hell, I have decided I am going to keep a daily diary of his behavior, see if that tells me (or someone who knows about this stuff) anything. Today, for example, he came home from work at 2, ate some food, and went to bed. Woke up at 6:30, had a cup of coffee, and went back to bed at 7. He's in bed now. The past week, he was AWFULLY grouchy, cranky, smart mouthed, he went to bed normal time (and I'm so stressed from worrying that I fall asleep and don't know for sure if HE was asleep). But he hasn't lost any weight, his appetite never seems to change.
mel	Re: Is he still using meth? Good luck to you. I wish I had the magic answer for you. One thing I can say is pray. Praying for God to show me the way is how I got through many tough times. Try not to obsess on this. Try to turn it over to God. You will be in my prayers.
imlostinky	Re: Is he still using meth? It could be he is just a grouchy old man. He could be tired. What kind of work does he do? I know this cold weather, being out in it all day really takes it out of my husband. The jaw sucking thing- that is a habit. My husband has been clean for 2 years now and he still does that. The leg jerks, kicks- it could easily be were his muscles are tight and cramping. My husband experienced that while using and while clean. How I could tell is - clean I can massage them, they loosen up, and the jerking stops. Using nothing will make them stop. For me, the best way I can tell my husband is clean is his attitude. He is a different man when he is clean- even tired and grumpy, he is still present- there is still life behind the eyes. You know, if you are following him around staring at him all the time, that could be contributing to the grumpy. You can't stop him from using. You can't control his use. He is grown, he is going to do as he chooses. Maybe a better thing to do would be to keep a journal on you, focus on you. That way you leave him to take care of him. He is grown.