This drug destroys my life and has wrecked havoc for me over the years so why do I miss it so much.. I relapse and then am grateful to get clean again but miss the high and the life.. I always said I would never smoke it and did that and then said I would never shoot it and have not but so am craving to do that right now.. when does it end?? Why can"t I just let it go ?? I am away from it now, back home in Nicaragua where meth does not exist but when does it stop trying to run my life.. seems it always is there waiting for me to give in..

When???? When you take back control of your life and turn it over to a higher power. It can be simple...Don't pick up and you won't get high....Period.....Get real with yourself and stop the insanity. Get help....Go to meetings.......

^Co-signed!

Honestly, I haven't had a true white-knuckle craving for meth for at least 15 years.

I see how miserable just abstaining can be, so I choose to remain active in my own recovery, as well as reaching out to others :)

Edited to add: Once you start sticking needles in your arms, you've most likely signed your death certificate. I was one of the fortunate few who escaped that lifestyle. My ex-husband died last year at age 47. He contracted AIDS while sharing needles.

Yes it is scary because I have borderline and am so impulsive.. I live in latin america and there are no meetings.. are there online meetings ?? I know people do not believe when I say that there are no meetings here but there really are not..Live in a village..

It only takes two to have a meeting that can be Totally Supportive!

luv

Yes there are online meetings....If you want it bad enough you can find help. You found this place....Stick around and don't use.....There you go.......Madness goes away...You also must find out why you have that empty hole inside of you that needs to be filled Meth instead of life and happiness...the insanity can stop if you want it too...godd luck its a #@%%% but it was the best thing I EVER did for myself....YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!

Paul

it never stops...for me.
....you gotta be strong.

eye of the tiger rocky

sorry but i have to ask.......did your baby die because of you abuse? if so...isn't that enough to want to stop?

no...
...it would make you wanna use, if I may be so bold.
it would make you wanna crawl in a hole and die.

but don't....
...you do have pupose.