Mother of 3-together 12 years. I have been separated from my husband
for bout 7 months, I just learned of his addiction a few months before
that, now I look at it I was in denial my self due to being 7 months
pregnant. After making him leave here he was bouncing round place to
place like all the rest I read bout here. He was recently busted for
making it and I was in shock...guess my story like the rest "Good man,
had it all, etc," What the hell is happening to my life?
Since his bust 1 month ago he has been staying at cousins house (2
years clean) went through all the detox and back to better than
normal... what I want to know is where do I go from here. -To start he
would beg me back and lie bout being done....knew that was
lies...stayed away...would talk once weekly -got busted and ran
straight home where he was not allowed and was picked up.... -went to
cousins and showed up at moms one day while detoxing...looked awful -I
have only seen him that once till yesterday... was I surprised to see
a fat, (well fatter) healthy, funny, SMILING, socialable man. After
using bout 2 years and bout 7 months heavily.
I am wondering if this is normal for such short time? Is it possible
for him to stay clean now? Should I give him any hope of coming home?
Do I leave him be and let him recover? How long and what is happening
to him?
I have no knowledge of crank or any speed. Never been round it till
now. All I know is what I have read here in last few days. Thank you
all for being so open!!! I really have no idea what I am doing or what
to say here...
- wife n mother
Pat -
Dear wife and mother, Welcome to the message board. I am the mother of a
meth addict who passed away recently, so all I can say is for you to
learn all you can from the different sites on the web about meth and
where to go for help. There are experts here who have been and are where
you are who will offer great advice and support. Did you say you have
only seen him once in seven months? and that was recently? how do you
know he is clean? Is he telling you? Sounds like he's running out of
places to go and unless he is on a road to recovery, personally I would
not take him back and go back thru all that hell meth addiction causes.
Is their life after meth? You are about to get a lot of answers real
soon, but first you consider your life and the lives and well being of
your children. This just comes to me from the heart. I hate to think of
all the pain my daughter-in-law went thru thinking my son would quit for
good and giving him chance after chance. But his death was due to him
trying to come off of the stuff by himself and overmedicating. If you
want to be supportive, tell him you will be there when he is clean, if
the two of you agree that's what you want (to preserve your family) and
until then you must go on with your life. A lot of this I have learned
on the different websites. I never in my life thought I would be right
here talking to someone about this subject, but God must know what he's
doing cause I have received a lot of help and you will too. You will be
making a lot of tough decisions, but you stay strong ,learn all you can
and TOUGH LOVE WORKS> Your friend, Pat
Charlie -
I am so sorry you are living this bad dream. I would not wish it on my
worse enemy. I have been on this same road for about a year and a half
now, but I have been marred to my husband for 21 years and he started
using when he was 42 years old. we have 5 children together and this has
wiped out a whole family. As far as your question, Is there life after
myth? I wish I could tell you yes, but I have not found it yet for my
husband or myself. The best thing I can tell you to do is take one step
at a time and take care of yourself and your children. One thing I have
learned is meth is much stronger than love of a family, stronger then
your health, stronger then the power of god, and stronger then love.
Take care of yourself.
S -
If he's put on weight, he's almost certainly cleaned up.
Two years of meth use, 7 months heavy? That's not very long, compared to
a lot of the former addicts posting here (myself included). I think that
if I had cleaned up at that point, I could have done it more quickly,
and without even a fraction of the hell that I've been through. Mind
you, I used for 10 years, and spent the final 2 years burning through
quantities that could kill someone who hadn't built up tolerance
already.
Be safe - administer drug tests. Be open about it - make it a condition
he has to agree to. Take care of yourself and your kids first and
foremost. If you see him relapse, don't give him ANY slack, boot him out
immediately. Good luck
texas -
Of course there is life after meth. it's what you make of it that
counts. it can be better, or it can be worse.
Hey - he looks healthy, staying with people he trusts (and you
trust)....but it's you who has to trust him. I have been away for 7
weeks now and we are going through counseling because I just can't trust
him. I want to so badly, but he broke that...and he has to rebuild it.
It's a long road - just be prepared. It's not all wine & roses because
he says he has quit. Also know that all the attention is usually focused
on the addict and you are left with you hands in the air saying "what in
the world happened here". Like you , I knew nothing of drugs and felt he
used that to his advantage. Look at the pictures on crystealrecovery.com
soon. Little things will make sense. Hang in there, gain knowledge and
you too will become strong. We are here for you.
Tammy -
Wife n mother, you are the only one that can decide what you have to do.
Just remember that the happiness of you and your children are JUST as
important as his happiness. You are the only one that can be responsible
for your own happiness, and the same goes for him. You didn't make this
problem, and you can't fix this problem. No matter how much love you
have for him, love isn't enough when it comes to battling meth. In my
opinion, you should stay on the path that you are already on, and move
forward with your life. He will catch up when and if he gets ready to.
God bless.
wife n mother -
I thank you all so much for your reply's!
I was getting on with my life and taking care of things very well...now
that he is showing improvement, my ice cold heart is melting. I guess
hope is creeping back in.
I spent the day with him and he was the same man I once knew...Just
didn't think that was possible. SO...now I am right back to having
feelings again, wish I could stay the ice-cold bitch I was few months
ago...It was working so well...lol
Thanks again all of you.
