KCI The Anti_Meth Site

Daughter in meth detox, should I establish contact?

My 19-year old daughter is a meth addict (for about 2 years, give or take). She went to rehab for 8 months, came out and relapsed less than a month later. This was last year (May 2003). Since then it's been a downward spiral. Currently I think she is in a detox unit. I guess I am looking for feedback on how involved do I get (should I call the detox unit or just wait and see if she calls me?), and how did any of you finally come to the point of "enough". Thanks for any input.
-Katie

Replies

S -
   My family did not involve themselves at all until I came to them and begged for it. If I'd spent the prior years of addiction running away from my family trying to help me before I was ready, then maybe I would have had a harder time turning to them when I was ready to quit.
   There's nothing you can do for an addict until they ask you for help. Anything you try to do before that point will just push them away from you, and make them resentful. It will hurt the hell out of you too. Be careful. Q. Did you come around sooner because your family did not seek you out? S - 6/12/2004 No, I didn't come around sooner... but when the time did finally came, I was able to go to them without having to cut through the shame of admitting I was wrong. Without feeling guilt about all the times I'd pushed them away, etc..
   They never forced me to push them away. They never forced me to confront the problem before I was ready to. Because of that, when I DID confront it, I was able to turn to them. I'm not bullshitting when I say that I might very well be dead if it weren't for that.

Andy -
and now for some feedback..... EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE It's hard to force recovery on someone me thinks, kind of comes when we are ready to "accept it". If she went to detox on her own, that's a good sign.

Angie -
   I would wait for her to contact you…try and keep your hands out of it as much as possible…let her do this in her time and on her own…don't allow yourself to get sucked back into all the hope and desires you'll have for her ... because the truth is you don't know how long this will last .... just wait and see how it goes

KATIE -
   Thanks to all of you for your feedback. You have NO idea how much I needed it. Actually you validated what I had been thinking: step back and wait for her.