KCI The Anti_Meth Site

My Boyfriend and Meth - Please explain!

Bradens light	Boyfriend and meth I have never used or been around drugs. My boyfriend was in jail before I met him for meth manufacturing. He told me when he met me he was done with that and never wanted to go back. We were fine for at least 7 months then he started never showing up on time and would work odd hours. By this time I was pregnant with our son. He would tell me he would be home at 6 or 7 and it may be 1am or 4am before he would get home. When I delivered my son everyone wanted to know what my boyfriend was on. He had lost weight and he looked sickly. He swore he was just taking stackers (the diet pill) and not doing anything else. But I started snooping and would fine white powder in little bags and when I would ask him about it he would say goodies powder and that was it. His mood torwards me changed also in the beginning he told me he loved me and would call me all the time and leave me letters and cards and roses. Later on I could not get him hardly to come home from his friends and when I did he would not spend time with me he would sleep or be sick or go out in the garage all hours of the night. Eventually it got where I could not even go in my garage there was so much junk in there and I started snooping through all of it and there were mason jars (which he stole of my grandmother) clear tubing, foil, containers with liquid in them and lots of hospital stuff (gloves, mask, scissors). Finally he and his buddy cleaned my garage.(I was still pregnant at the time). Then about 2 months ago he had been in the garage all night and he came in to feed our son and fell asleep. I went out to the garage and there was a heater set up with white powder on a tile. I asked him about it and he told me it was nothing so I went to through it away and he fought me over it. I ended up with both my arms black and he hit me in the head several times, I kept a headache for a week. I told him to get out and he told me I would regret it and he would burn my house down with me in it. He left about a week later he showed up and said he was sleeping in his truck and he was hungry and that he was sorry and cried. I still didn't let him back in and asked him to go to rehab he refused because he is still on probabtion. Now however he tells me everything is my fault because he doesn't have a place to live and he can't be with me and doesn't love me anymore. He is mean to me when he calls and tells me he is moving in with another girl and having sex with her. He tells me that I won't loan him money when he needs it and that he has been sleeping on the streets and I kicked him out and he can't stand me. However, some does he tells me he loves me and his son and buys me presents. I guess it is from the drugs...I know he is making it too. He said he likes the power of everyone looking up to him and thinking he is the man. Also before he left he had tons of porn but before I would always want too and he said he was tired. He would sleep for days and he was sick all the time or he would stay up for days on end and work in the garage on flashlights and such. I need some help understanding this and I still blame myself. I keep thinking if I give him another chance he will change. What is the connection with porn and meth? He has lost his family, his truck and the only thing he has left is his drug friend and meth girls. Please give me your opinions and experiences on this I need to understand and try to move on for our sons sake.
Replies...
Rachel sue76	Re: Boyfriend and meth Hello and welcome to the board. I am sorry about your situation. It is really sad. It sounds like he is back at it full swing. Just take his words lightly. Yes, they are hurtful but unfortunately that is the way it goes. Meth and porn seem to go hand in hand.
robinrue	Re: Boyfriend and meth SO IS HE SLEEPING IN THE TRUCK? OR MOVING IN W/OTHER GIRL? YOU NEED TO MOVE ON -MOVE HIM OUT AND TAKE CARE OF YOU AND YOUR KIDS --##1
Savedin illinois	Re: Boyfriend and meth I'm sorry, but are you talking about my life?!? This is my life story. My pain ended about 4 yrs ago. This is what you need to do. Get rid of him. Wipe him out of your life and out of your son's life (until he decides to clean up). You are only hurting your son if you allow this to go on any further. From my experience, and believe me I do have experience, your son is better off with no father at all than to have one who manufactures and uses drugs. The only difference between your story and mine is that I was a user also. I never made it, but I reaped the benefits of having a manufacturing boyfriend. Not only is his behavior dangerous to you and your son, the manufacturing is extremely dangerous. Meth labs blow up all the time. Don't wait for something horrific to happen, get him away from you and your son!! If he doesn't want to stay away, get the law involved. I really hope you take my advice. I've been there and I know. I'm praying for you!!
Bradens light	Re: Boyfriend and meth Thanks for your advice. I know the best thing to do is to stay away from him. It hurts me because I really love him and I know the person he can be with out the drug use. I do not want my son around any of that and I have a home, nice car and everything and I do not want it taken away from me because of him. I guess I just kept thinking he would know what he was losing and straighten up. Do you think that will ever happen?
JDP	Re: Boyfriend and meth Hello and welcome to the board. Keep reading this board. Read the stories that are written here. You could waste your whole life waiting for him to change. You have children and they should be your number one priority. It is hard to let go, but not as hard as the crap he will put you through. It isn't likely that he is ready to quit anytime soon, especially since he has already spent time in jail and that didn't stop him for long. It sucks, I know, but do not let him back in your house to live with you. If he got busted there making meth, you could lose your child, he isn't worth it. You deserve better
green eyeangel	Re: Boyfriend and meth Please don't think this is your fault. Another chance is not going to make any difference except the fact that it may cause you to end up going to prison for conspiracy to manufacture since he is using your garage for some or all of the process, not to mention the fact that CPS could take your son. Manufacturing is an addiction within itself. Once you get the "I'm the man" syndrome like you said your boyfriend feels that makes him so important to all of his friends and "bag monkies" (meth girls) it is really hard to stop untill you end up dead or in prison. By letting him come back you would be putting yourself and your child in danger. He is not going to change untill he want's to. Welcome to this board and you will find you can get alot of support here. I have lived in the world your boyfriend is living in and you really need to stay away from it and most of all keep your son away from it. When he hits his true bottom he will either make the decision to get help and stop or more than likely he will go to prison. God Bless
CONCERNED NANNY	Re: Boyfriend and meth Honey, I really do feel for ya. I know your pain. I hope putting this scenario in your head will help you. "You let him come back he seems ok for a while (they always do). One day you find your son face down on the floor - DEAD - he has somehow gotten a hold of some of the meth daddy dear had, now knowing what it was." I know that may be harsh and straight forward, but think about it honey. Who is more important right now? You need to make sure you and most of all your son are safe and ok. Please do not put that little boy in danger!!!!
no more mething around	Re: Boyfriend and meth Cooking/dealing/doing - all addictive behaviors. You da man !! Everyone is always happy to see the dealer - like when you run out of gas and someone pulls over to help ya fill up. You know this isn't your fault...good for you throwing him out. Don't let him back... he won't change until he wants to. I caught my roomate cutting and rerocking 5 lbs of meth in my backyard workshop. I confronted him, told him to get out or I would turn him in. A day later, I was kidnapped, tortured and begging for my life. Do not let him back in. Your baby deserves clean air to breathe. Protect him - be strong on that one - check your garage for any lingering chemicals - do not underestimate the danger of this situation.
sabino2	Re: Boyfriend and meth I agree, don't let him back unless he is willing to change. As many people on this board can attest to I was the MASTER of denial. Everything was my wifes fault... and talk about being able to lie and hide, I am still shocked at some of the stories I told and how many people believed them! I feel lucky, I am getting a second chance but I had to come clean, be honest and realize that it is no ones fault but my own. Using is a choice, a decision it doesn't just happen. I can say personally, no one ever tied me up and forced that pipe in my mouth. I did it all on my own. You can't save or change him, he has to do it for himself. Just my 2 cents
Freedom Fighter25	Re: Boyfriend and meth Look I am a ex addict for 10 yrs Im 25 and started using when I was 14 I was 15 helping my dad make the @#%$...Im proud of myself to a point beceause of the various ways I know you can 'cook'....The best thing you can do with a friend or family member who chooses to continue using is walk away...No amount of begging or tears should keep you there helping to fuiel the addicts life...An addict can only change if they really want it...forget all the hype of devil drug an @#%$ .....Its purely a concious choice made with the sickend mind of an addict...
25 years but no more	Re: Boyfriend and meth Hi Bradenslight - Welcome to the board. Stay as far away from him as you can!!! The only thing that he can offer you and your child at this point is misery. If making meth makes him feel like the big man, then the likelihood of him quitting anytime soon is slim and none. I am a firm believer that ANY physical abuse should be reported. I would have called his probation officer. If he has bruised you once, he WILL do it again! Be careful.
Barncats7	Re: Boyfriend and meth We all know how much you're suffering. YOU will get past this, keep reading, get as much information as you can and do the right thing for you and your child. He will come back into your life if it is mean't to be = but the BEST thing you can do is stay away from him while he is venturing out. Nothing you say or do is going to stop him. STOP worrying about him and take care of yourself and your baby. K8 has really really great information - look for her threads and please read them and then read them again.