KCI The Anti_Meth Site

I think my baby's dad is using and or selling meth

Nishi	Baby's dad using and selling meth? I think my baby's dad is using and or selling meth. I've gone through this sht with him for years. I'm tired of it. Sometimes I just want to move out of town to get away from him and the drama, but he doesn't have a job and I have a good paying one. I'm the only one supporting my baby so it'd be hard for me to just up and leave. Though I fear that's what it's gonna take. Earlier he was suppose to be working on a car but he was at a party. When I found out he hung up on me. I thought ok I'm done, but just a second ago a preacher I work with handed me info on a rehab that he can probably get him into free(since he says he has no money) so should I call and tell him? He's been suck an a* to me today and he's lying. Earlier he told me he hasn't called me cause he lost his phone on the highway and didn't find it till today. We were in tornado warnings all day yesterday so his phone would of been in the rain all night. He expects me to believe that his phone just magically works after sitting in water for over 12 hours, right. Or should I just let him be, let him fck up his life if that's what he wants? I wish I could just forget I ever knew him, but that doesn't really work! sorry if this is confusing and crap. I'm just mad at him and tired of the bullsht!
Replies...
JDP	Re: Baby's dad using and selling meth? I am so sorry for your pain, I truly understand it. Don't call him. You won't get the response you need or want. If you really want him to know about the rehab, leave the info on his car or even mail it to him. My guy has been to jail and to rehab (rehab 3 times). And he is full on sick in his addiction again. If I could give you any advice it would be to WALK AWAY, but I know that is so easier said than done. Just know you are NOT ALONE.
jeninoz	Re: Baby's dad using and selling meth? I also know where you are. If you like read my earlier post (from Jeninoz). I have 2 young children. It's such a mess. I don't know if I even love him anymore or if I'm just codependent. I also have a good paying job and own the house we're in. I'm really thinking of asking him to move out. I've kicked him out before but always had him back after a week or two. I'm in AA myself (sober just over 7 years) and now in Alanon too. That's helped.
channa2	Re: Baby's dad using and selling meth? maybe some help for yourself at Al Anon or Nar Anon family groups might help. You didn't cause it... and you sure can't cure it. Focus in your own life with help, and you might be a lot happier. To thine own self be true... Peace to you both channa2
imlostinky	Re: Baby's dad using and selling meth? Lying is par for the course with addiction. Expect it. Does he expect you to believe his lies? Sometimes, sometimes not- either way it doesn't matter. What matters is the next high. Period. He has made his choice- Now the ball is in your court. Your choice- Live with it or live without it. Period. You can not change him- You can change you. How do you want to live your life? How do you want your life to be? What kind of home do you want? Are you getting it with him? Can you get it without him? There you go- It isn't a matter of you LETTING him f-k up his life- He will do as he is period. With or without your permission. You don't let him use- he uses period. Now you can control how much his addiction and he uses you- that you can control. I said this before - I think it is a good one worth repeating. Just for today HIS addiction will NOT control me. Start there- I think it is a good beginning.
Guene	Re: Baby's dad using and selling meth? I agree, He is the only one who can change and if he doesn't want to, then you asking him is not going to change him. Sorry I know this sucks, but you have to ask yourself whats more important you and your kids happness or living with someone who puts his drug ahead of you. Hugs and love
Hemetchik	Re: Baby's dad using and selling meth? move on with your life...
danimal55	Re: Baby's dad using and selling meth? Until he's actively involved in a daily ritual of recovery, history will repeat, or get worse. Guaranteed! Expect nothing but more of the same. These pages are laced with the stark truth of what recovery involves, there is NO easier/softer way....we've all looked for one, nodda! To concur with the others, move on, if he decides to recover fine...don't expect it. Hope for it, but do it from a distance. As you know by now, in his eyes, you're the crazy one, or so he'd like you to believe....don't buy it for a second! Being stuck with a tweaker, witn no desire to recover, is no place to be...you deserve better. Dump him...until he's ready to stand accountable and own up to his BS and lies. Many of us have to lose everything that is sacred and dear to us in order to "get it", if we ever get it at all. If nothing changes...nothing changes. No recovery = No recovery.
TnSkye	Re: Baby's dad using and selling meth? *Quote:* I'm the only one supporting my baby so it'd be hard for me to just up and leave Who are you trying to make believe this??!! I had not worked in over TEN YEARS when I left my husband. I've now managed to keep our heads above water for almost a year without a dime from him. If you are already the breadwinner, then all you need is to get rid of the excess which is draining your funds. I'm not saying you SHOULD leave him, but looking for excuses to stay is no help. Make your decision and learn what you need to do to keep your sanity and stay strong. Here's what I did and what I advise others to do-make 4 lists. List #1 Pros of Staying List #2 Cons of Staying List #3 Pros of Leaving List #4 Cons of Leaving