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How do you let go of your guilt because of Meth?


pleasehelp How do you let go of your guilt because of Meth?
how do you let go of your guilt? mom has alot....and i feel that her guilt caused her to go back to using. any helpful hints?
     Replies...
robinrue Re: How do you let go of your guilt because of meth?
Hi, i think she went back to using because she is still an addict-not because of guilt, sorry to be so honest with my opinion.
angieNcali Re: How do you let go of your guilt because of meth?
Sometimes we like to hang onto our guilt ... it becomes a pattern and an excuse for us to do the things we do and have a reason for it.

She has to want to let go of it.
pleasehelp Re: How do you let go of your guilt because of meth?
i just hate this drug! it has screwed my whole family up...my brothers are having such a hard time! My older bro is with a girl that uses meth and my little bro(17) has moved out with some people that, i dont think, are looking out for what is best. i want to help them and change everything but it is the way things are and it is just not fair! i know i sound like a little kid but that is how i feel. i hate what meth has done to my family and all the other families it has messed up! i pray everyday that it would just go away and it would be a bad dream but it isnt is it. i wish i could stop dwelling on this crap....
angieNcali Re: How do you let go of your guilt because of meth?
Trust me when I say - I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. I wish my mom wouldnt use either- it worrys me, makes me sick inside, i have spent nights crying myself to sleep, i have voiced my opinion - fought about it, shouted about and had my heart broken over it ..... Until I realized I had Done everything i could .... and Now I had to do what was best for me and my own peace of mind .... and just have faith that this is her life and her journey and accept I HAVE NO CONTROL over it ... NONE.

So I have distanced myself ... and had to stop carring around her problems and my brothers problems like they were my own ..... I was letting it all bother me WAY more then it was them .... So I stopped and started taking care of me ..... that really is ALL I can do.
pleasehelp Re: How do you let go of your guilt because of meth?
so your mom is an addict too? how did you do it....get on with your life? she makes me feel like if i dont see her she thinks i hate her or something. she says she wants to kill herself and i just could not loose her. do you think she is just "playing" me because she knows how much i care? should i call her bluff? what do you think?
angieNcali Re: How do you let go of your guilt because of meth?
I was the addict first- Then my mom started using my last year in my addiction and then she got clean after using for about 6 to 9 months and then I went into rehab shortly after and at about my 2 year sobriety Mark she went back to using.

I am now almost 3 1/2 years clean. We Dont talk.

I think you may need to go to some alanon or some type of counceling.

What she is doing isnt right. Controlling you and mentally verbally abusing you by threatening to kill herself.

Why not try some type of intervention.

In her being sick and you allowing her to have so much control over you .... you are getting sick right along with her.

Take care of you. And in doing so maybe you discover the best way to help her.
 
pleasehelp Re: How do you let go of your guilt because of meth?
some alanon or some type of counceling sounds great i know i need it. i have thought of doing an intervention but i have been in fear that what we have to say will push her over the edge you know. now that she is in a controlled environment (rehab) i feel like we could with out the fear of what she might do. so that is an option i would like to test. wish me luck!
angieNcali Re: How do you let go of your guilt because of meth?
Oh Okay I wasn't aware she was in a rehab ...

is it court ordered ?

How long has she been there ? How long will she be there ?
Has she gotten a sponsor ?

How old are you if you dont mind me asking ?
pleasehelp Re: How do you let go of your guilt because of meth?
is it court ordered ? YES for the second time

How long has she been there? almost 2 weeks

How long will she be there ? 3 months i think all in hopes that she wont go to jail.

Has she gotten a sponsor ? i bet not

How old are you if you dont mind me asking ? i am 20
angieNcali Re: How do you let go of your guilt because of meth?
OH I feel for ya- this must be so hard on you.
Your so young - how long have you been dealing with this?

You need to stop playing her games. If she is threatening to kill herself I would tell the rehab she is at. Dont make things easy on her ... dont let her have the power to continue to pull her into her crap over and over again.

You owe to you and her to take BACK the control.
pleasehelp Re: How do you let go of your guilt because of meth?
BIG HUGG back to ya! i have been "mom" for about 7 or 8 years now. well i guess that i should not feel bad when i end up talking to her like she is the kid huh! i will let the rehab know! for sure! and you know what else is funny.... i have a wedding to plan! all on my own and pay for all on my own. i just am so mad that she picked meth over me and the wedding.... it is in june and she will not be able to make it now because of her selfish actions. but i will get back in control thats part of why im here...
angieNcali Re: How do you let go of your guilt because of meth?
That is funny . . . not really funny. But I also had a wedding to plan all on my own. My mom wasnt locked up in a rehab or jail or anything like that she was busy using and never once called me or checked to see how it was going & I planned for over a year. She didnt participate any of the projects, she never said cognrats, or NOTHING. So I know how it feels. it Sucks and it is unfair. But for us it is a fact of life ... and something we have to deal with do ....

CONGRATULATIONS !
chrisgonz
 
Re: How do you let go of your guilt because of meth?
Pleasehelp,
I've done just about everything on my own too. We don't even get cards or nothing from my mother. Never have, never will.

I'm 44, and just quit giving a @#%$ about 6 years ago.

My mother never used drugs, she's just a really mean and ugly person, very bitter, about what.. I have no clue. She's got money to burn.. she got it dirty though and I think she just hates herself and everyone near her.

Get on with your wedding plans, make it great.

Love and Live lady!!!

Love yourself most, you're soul is all you can take with you when all is said and done. Have inner peace, down to your soul.

changed everything to just about everything... I've had help from other family members.

See also:

Getting off meth; the shame, the hurt, guilt


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