Sex after Meth addiction

Sfj

Sex after meth addiction

This is really puzzling to me. Most agree about the intensity and the detachment that is often present in meth induced sex. But what about sex after meth addiction? Certainly, it can be as good as it was before meth addiction and often it can be considerably better.
I'm not talking about promiscuity here. But the loving exchange and sharing of mature, natural affection.

"Recovery is not sexually transmitted, but relapse is." But people who have relationships also have a responsibility to keep the glow or flame of love and lovemaking in a proper part of living. Don't they?

What is missing? Do some folks have the wrong partner? Have some people found themselves lacking in romantic involvement? Is their technique in need of an overhaul?

Sex is very messy, awkward, crude, and vulgar, That is, if you're doing it correctly.

Sex is also normal, natural, healthy, and exciting. If it isn't, maybe you're doing it wrong. Sex can also increase the love between two people when caring, erotic participation is shared.

Is there a problem with the attitude?

Should we include another step in recovery? Something like Step 4A? Take an inventory of our sensuality, courting skills, and alluring methods of seduction?
(probably not)

What happened to the urge to merge? Sex is a gift from God.

How can we look at the future of humanity, love, and propagation of the species when we find people who would prefer a cheeseburger, French fries, or chocolate to sex?

That almost saddens me.

Replies...

still
catest

Re: Sex after meth addiction

This has been difficult for me. I didn't experience any abuse during meth addiction, but the sex was one of the biggest attractions to it I had.

It opened me up to the crazy, nasty and bizarre, which were always in me, but didn't feel like I could pull off. I LIKE those parts, and the meth gave me the confidence (drug-induced) to do things with my husband I never felt sexy enough to do.

Now in recovery, I learned how to MAKE LOVE, which honestly I had NEVER done in my sexual life. It was always sex/f*&king. ALWAYS, even with my husband. I never knew there was a difference, and people who "made love" were either lying to themselves or wusses. Today I CAN and DO make love, as well as get dog-dirty when the time is right.

I still feel inadequate, un-sexy and HIDEOUS. That is sort of a seperate issue I am working on spiritually and mentally. But it does affect how I feel as a sexual being. Only because it is done with love between my husband and I am I able to be free enough to enjoy it. If I was in the dating scene, I think I'd be celibate.

forget
suzette

Re: Sex after meth addiction

...yeah it's better.

Kell
happy

Re: Sex after meth addiction

I think sex is better now for me, because it's more honest. It's actually me having the sex, not "drugged up me"....there's definetly a difference. It might not always live up to someone else's standards I guess, but my main standard is intimacy, and being able to fully "be there" makes it much more intimate for me.

My hang-ups now are, probably, much the same they would've been before drugs, although I guess some of the insecurities could be "root causes" of my addiction, if you subscribe to that idea.

The circumstances of my life were a lot different when I was using. I was in my mid-20s, I was single, and had no children. Plus, I was up all the damn time, had lots of time to have sex all the time. Now I'm 35, married to a man who does 40 hours of construction (concrete even!!) and 20 hours of commuting every week, I take care of our house and baby. When both of us find a moment we're not exhausted it's a miracle. I hear this is very common in the first year after having a baby. We like sex. It just doesn't happen often enough. At least we miss it, I'd feel worse if I didn't care at all, or if he didn't.

forget
suzette

Re: Sex after meth addiction

it took me a long time to even acknowlege the thing I was "achieving" as an orgasm.

it's so fast, and anti climactic and I'm so desensitized..
....it took me awhile to get my groove on again.

whats funny is...
...new relationships make you want to do meth to get that "POWERFUL" sexual demeaner.
...love em real good, for days...stuff like that.

and it ultimately destroys every relationship you throw it into.

the thinner i got, (thinking I was a sex monster) the more I had sex alone.

imlost
inky

Re: Sex after meth addiction

Quote:
But what about sex after meth addiction?

For me , much better.
When I was using, I could never get satisfied- always on the verge but then go nowhere, just stuck there.
So I quit having sex when I was high.
For hubby, when he went back to using, it wouldn't work- so no sex again.

Since quitting , everything works like it should- it may not last as long as it would before when we were using but it is much more satisfying.
and it really depends on the mood we are in whether it is love making or down and dirty.
I don't need meth to get wild- my imagination works just fine without it.
And after 21 years of marriage, I am not in the least bit shy to have my husband see me naked.
Like I told him, if you see anything you haven't seen before, shoot it.
I promise I will
The body is beautiful- a work of art. Nature at it's finest.
No shame here.
The only things now that will spoil the mood-
16 hour long work days or booze.
Thankfully even the booze is diminishing.
Clean sex is the best sex- it hits all the right spots.Heart, mind, and body.