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When your child is a Meth addict

Kathy as
When your child is a meth addict
There are no words to perfectly describe the feelings a parent has when their child is addicted to drugs. It doesn't matter if the child is a minor or an adult. During my 7 year experience with my daughter I must admit I have felt all the following emotions:
Shock, hurt, fear, hopelessness, shame, anger, depression, hope, happiness, disgust, attacked emotionally, verbally and physically, detached, attached, loneliness, desperation, feeling as if nobody understands, clingy, letting to, holding on, confused, hatred at this drug, mood swings, crying spells, heartache, love, protection, secretive, grief and a sadness in my heart that only loving an addict can bring.

As loved ones, we allow all these feelings only to realize we can't fix our addict. We want to protect and nurture only to find out we are enabling. As we are doing these things we justify it by saying we are doing it out of love only to look back years later and realize it is harder to let go than it is to hold on. How many times have I let go? So many I can't count. To this day I can still feel my daughters pain. As she sits in jail right now my heart is heavy but I am at peace. Isn't that what parents are supposed to do? Not in the case of this drug we call meth and meth addiction. I must say there is no right and wrong and each person's situation is different. What works for one may not work for another.

For TODAY, I choose to love my daughter from afar. Should she choose to get clean and stay clean, I will be there for her. For today, I cannot accept her collect calls anymore nor can I subject my innocent granddaughter to the neglect my daughter's addiction has caused.

For those of you who are new to KCI, welcome. Whether it is your child, spouse, brother, sister or any other family member, loving an addict is like the scariest rollercoaster ride you have ever been on. Hold on tight. Or better yet, don't get on.
Re: When your child is a meth addict
My Dear Friend, Kathy

You and I are the light at the end of the tunnel for two precious, endearing little girls.............and don't you ever forget it!!

Hang tough Mom, we're gonna make it
pcejp Re: When your child is a meth addict
I couldn't have described the feelings of a parent any better than you just did. The isolation I felt from everyone was so incredible.

My 17 year old daughter just celebrated one year of being meth free. Even after a year of her sobriety I look back to the past and can't believe what meth has done to our lives and how it has changed our entire family.
Re: When your child is a meth addict
I read your post often but don't reply much because I just don't know what to say.
I'm sorry. I wish I could help ease your pain but I can't. My children are small and I hope and pray that in the next 10 years that meth is a thing of the past. I can't relate with your pain but in my fear I imagine it and it scares the hell out of me.

I want you to know that I'm thinking of you and praying for you, your daughter and granddaughter.
Re: When your child is a meth addict
Can I ask you a question. I just spent a weekend in rehab supporting my husband (meth/crack cocaine). Has lots of education on addicts and the way addiction works. Me and my husband have decided that not only will we sit down with our children and educate them on this (my husband comes from a long line of addicts and I have several in the family that are addicts) but that we will start early to hope to prevent what might be inevitable. I know I can never stop nor start my children (15 & 17 yrs of age) from trying and cont. drugs. But I am hopeing with this education on addiction and for sure having boundries and consequences early I may help save one or both of their lives. If you had all the knowledge you have now would you have done things differently?
Kathy as
Re: When your child is a meth addict
You can always look back and see where you could do things differently. I think it is an awesome idea to start educating your kids early. The fact that your husband is willing to use himself as an example is good. My daughter didnt really get into drugs until she was 19. I have a son who just turned 30 (daughter is 26) and he has never touched a drug in his life. They were both raised by me. Their dad is an alcoholic and I told both of them growing up that they had an increased chance of becoming adddicted to something since it ran in our family so the best thing to do is to obstain from even trying. The only difference I can pinpoint in my children's lives are that my son got involved in sports at an early age and continued through high school graduation. He had a male role model through his couches and mentoring through them. It also required a great amount of discipline to stay on the team. My daughter could never find her "thing" although she tried several different extra curricular activities. I believe the more activities your children can get involved in the greater chance of creating higher self esteem and at the same time diverts their idle time to productive time. Just advice from another mother. Hey, good luck to your family!
Re: When your child is a meth addict
Good post, I think as a mother of an addict it's hard for people to understand the position. It's not all cut and dry just like an addict's life is a daily roller coaster ride.

An analogy probably wierd but here goes: we nourish our children like growing a tree. We plant it. Water, feed it, stake it up and it may still get infested with insects or diseased. We might be able to treat it, or it gets difformaties in the plant or even dies. We just hope that after all the care it'll make it.
Re: When your child is a meth addict
Thank you for putting your thoughts in to words. I admire your strength and understand your sorrow all to well.

See also:

Being a Parent of a Crystal Meth Addict

How to keep your kids from becoming addicts

Loved ones of an addict, which one are you?

Back to Crystal Meth & Methamphetamine Questions, Answers & Advice

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