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Can I help my daughter when she will not admit she has a drug problem?


con
troller
1971
Can I help my daughter when she will not admit she has a drug problem?
I haven't been here in awhile. I think I thought if I tried to lie to myself, all the pain would go away. My daughter appeared to be doing better, however, just recently I went to her house to see her and her children and after I entered the front door, I could not go any further. There was NO place to sit! Junk, and clothes four feet high! Clothes all over the couch and floor and I am not over exaggerating! She sat on a little stool and acted like nothing was wrong! She is so skinny, she looks like a walking skeleton. We did go and eat and she ate like she was starving. She has plenty of food because she is on food stamps. She doesn't work...Can I do anything to help her when she will not admit she has a problem?
     Replies...
up
against
thewall
Re: Can I help my daughter when she will not admit she has a drug problem?
My concern would be for the children. Is this any way for them to live? Prayers for you hon.
babee Re: Can I help my daughter when she will not admit she has a drug problem?
I agree with the OP. What kind of environment can it be for children? How well can they be possibly be cared for by a person who does not care for herself?

What is usually done in this kind of situation? Should child services be called to get the children into a grandparents home till the user gets straight? If so, how long do the children stay before being returned? Thx.
sierra
nights
Re: Can I help my daughter when she will not admit she has a drug problem?
My son is the same way. Clothes everywhere, dirty dishes everywhere, stuff strewed here and there. And yeah, he sees nothing wrong with that. Now I understand he is a boy and boys are generally not all that neat. But, to me, his mess is a bit on the "call the health department" side. He doesn't seem to care one bit. Only bad thing about this is it's my house. I moved out and I may have made a huge mistake there. He's trashing the place.

As far as doing anything to help him, I haven't figured out a thing. Like your daughter, he has no problem. According to him, the problem is mine. Okay! When, and this is rare, he does clean up, I do try to really praise him. When he looks like he hasn't been using, I make a point to tell how good he looks. It's all I know to do.

In your case, I would be concerned for the children. I'm sorry we have to live this with our beloved children.
TnSkye Re: Can I help my daughter when she will not admit she has a drug problem?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but

Quote:


She has plenty of food because she is on food stamps
this does not mean she has food. Around here people sell their cards for cash for drugs.

Definitely, your concern should be for the well-being of the children.
Terry
Ca
Re: Can I help my daughter when she will not admit she has a drug problem?
I can relate to you so much. My daughter is the exact same way! Help her, what problem. Love, pray and praise them when we can.

Mine lives in a studio I've got. She is really finally getting kicked out by me (I think I'd almost rather die). But there are no children yet. It would be harder to kick your daughter out since the children are with her.
Ldy
Lesa
Re: Can I help my daughter when she will not admit she has a drug problem?
Welcome to our little club of mothers (or step-mothers). My step-daughter would always be cleaning....but the problem was that it never showed because she was organizing everything. So as she was cleaning she was creating piles of clothes and such. Not really cleaning...just moving it around because she was organizing. In her mind, she was taking care of things. But she wasn't.

Family called child services...they started investigating. She couldn't handle that they were checking in on her and told them to place her son with family. We are now raising my grandson and are grateful that we can. Its hard to watch the grandchildren go down with the parents. The things they see and hear (and smell) should not be in their lives. Don't wait until its too bad.
x2
weeker
girl
Re: Can I help my daughter when she will not admit she has a drug problem?
There but for the grace of god go I....

Once upon a time, I neglected my children, staying up night after night, locking myself away while they played outside for hours....as long as they didn't bother me while I was getting high, all was okay. I've traded my food stamps for dope, a time or two or three. I've had a messy house and never noticed how much junk we'd collected until we were getting kicked out (again). It wasn't until Children's Services stepped into my life that I began to get the hint that I might have a problem here. And it wasn't the first time that they came a knocking', it took me almost losing them before I got the picture. It takes what it takes, and boy was I Pissed! But I can HONESTLY say that today I am forever grateful that someone who was able to care for my children did, when I clearly could not.

Sometimes, doing the right thing feels wrong, but if it means that the family will get the help it needs then it seems necessary.
nine
years
clean
Re: Can I help my daughter when she will not admit she has a drug problem?
Good to see you again sweetheart!

Her house sounds like my house looked when I was active in my addiction, and like all of the people I used with houses looked.

I'm having flashbacks lately, I posted about it, and your description put me right back at one of my dealer's houses. WOW. And we sat around, like nothing was wrong, with piles of junk and clothes and junk all over the place.

I'm sorry, but I'm with everyone else. The children would be my foremost concern. I would want them out of that house. Believe me when I tell you, I have BEEN to that house, I have been IN that house. IT'S NO PLACE FOR CHILDREN.
micole Re: Can I help my daughter when she will not admit she has a drug problem?
You may not be able to help your daughter at this time, but please help the children. Cindy
Guene Re: Can I help my daughter when she will not admit she has a drug problem?
Good to see you sweetie, food stamps, will I know Jamie sold them for drugs and anything else. I think that the most important thing here is the grandchildren and is she ok to raise them right now????? Children need love and a safe home, living in a home like that is not good and how do you know they are eating well?? I don't know grandma but I think you might want to help out with your grandkids. I'm so sorry about your daughter, I know what your feeling and I wish I had some words to help, but I don't, they have to want to change.

See also:

Daughter is Using Meth Topics

In denial about my daughter's use of drugs

Is there any talking a meth addict into quitting?


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