KCI The Anti_Meth Site

Is there such a thing as recreational use of crystal meth?

dissappointed wife	Is there such a thing as a recreational use of crystal meth? I just discovered after years of suspecting that my husband has been using meth for six years and successfully hiding it from me and everyone around him. He was also helping with the manufacture of the drug by dissolving the tablets in our garage... right under my nose. He CLAIMS that he isn't addicted to the drug, and can quit anytime he wants. He CLAIMS that his use was only once a week maybe every two weeks. But the fact still remains that there was only a 2-3 month period when he was not using for the entire six year period. From all the information I have read, he is either a minority meth user or he is lying. He doesn't fit the "stereotypical" case of a meth user. He works a regular job, he eat regular meals, he sleeps at night. At one time I believe he fit more of the typical descriptions, but he doesn't now. I asked that he go to a local drug assessment center, which he did on Monday. However he walked away from the place saying that he didn't have a problem, and could do it on his own. The person who assessed him disagrees. I don't know what or who to believe anymore. He CLAIMS that he chooses our family over the drug and he is done with it. I love him and desperately want him to be able to quit on his own. I have asked that there be not drinking or drugging or I'm leaving. It has been one week today that he hasn't drank anything that I know of, but who knows about using. I was never really sure of whether or not it was going on in the first place. I'm stuck sitting her and wondering what do I do with this information? Do I believe him or I move on and get away as fast and as far as I can? So now that I have spilled my life’s story here, my question is… is it possible to maintain as a recreational user? One that can either have it or not? Can someone help me PLEASE understand....
Replies...
Sfj	Re: Is there such a thing as recreational use of crystal meth? Ok, I'm going to answer your questions I just discovered after years of suspecting that my husband has been using meth for six years and successfully hiding it from me and everyone around him. That is common. He was also helping with the manufacture of the drug by dissolving the tablets in our garage... right under my nose. That is also common. He CLAIMS that he isn't addicted to the drug, and can quit anytime he wants. He CLAIMS that his use was only once a week maybe every two weeks. But the fact still remains that the was only a 2-3 month period when he was not using for the entire six year period. His claims should probably not be believed. From all the information I have read, he is either a minority meth user or he is lying. One guess, (hint: the latter). He doesn't fit the "stereotypical" case of a meth user. He works a regular job, he eat regular meals, he sleeps at night. At one time I believe he fit more of the typical descriptions, but he doesn't now. That is the stereotypical user. Most users go to work, eat, and sleep, after they’ve been addicted for awhile. I asked that he go to a local drug assessment center, which he did on Monday. However he walked away from the place saying that he didn't have a problem, and could do it on his own. The person who assessed him disagrees. I don't know what or who to believe anymore. Believe the person that did the assessment, that person was probably a professional. He CLAIMS that he chooses our family over the drug and he is done with it. This is the big point, He really probably wants to choose his family over the drug. I would believe him on that point. Quitting isn’t anywhere near as easy as it seems to the non-user. I love him and desperately want him to be able to quit on his own. That is very noble and honorable, more power to you. It can be done, if you are willing. I have asked that there be not drinking or drugging or I'm leaving. Why? He is sick and needs help. Remember the phrase from marriage vows, “In sickness and in health”. It has been one week today that he hasn't drank anything that I know of, but who knows about using. I was never really sure of whether or not it was going on in the first place. He’s probably using. I'm stuck sitting here and wondering what do I do with this information? Do I believe him or I move on and get away as fast and as far as I can? Are you a quitter? So now that I have spilled my life’s story here, my question is… is it possible to maintain as a recreational user? Yes it is, but he is not a recreational user. One that can either have it or not? Recreational users exist, but they are extremely rare. It will be more common to get hit by lightning. They will not post on a website like this under any circumstances. People on this forum will generally deny that they do or even could exist. Can someone help be PLEASE understand.... Yes, I have a lot more info, resources, and support if you are still interested after reading the replies to your post.
angieNcali	Re: Is there such a thing as recreational use of crystal meth? NO
dissappointed wife	Re: Is there such a thing as recreational use of crystal meth? I understand he is sick, but I don't have a clue how to help him. He believes he can do it on his own. And says that he doesn't want anything to do with "those people" that he isn't one of those people. He says I'm trying to make him a statistic, that this isn't a problem for him. I say when he started using he became a statistic. Now we just have to find a way to deal with it. He has completely isolated himself (and us) from the rest of the world, which I understand is common. He says it is because we are raising children. BUT there has to more to life... our children aren't little babies any more. They are 6-1/2 and 5 years old. They don't understand what is going on, and I'm trying to band aid everything together. It just isn't working any more. He to my knowledge doesn't associate with the people that are using and selling the drug. They are not people who he works with, they do not call or come around our house. I babbling I know, but I don't know where to start to help him. I DO NOT want to destroy our family. I told him the day I discovered his stash, that I love him, and I believe in him, that he is better than this and it ALL has to stop. I still have two concerns... how do I help him, and how can I ever trust him again? Six years a lot of lying, denying and deceitful activity... How do you ever get past that?
danimal55	Re: Is there such a thing as recreational use of crystal meth? A six year addiction is far from recreational use. IMO meth and re-creation have NOTHING in common! He attempted to bluff the counselor... it didn't work. We ALL think we can quit on our own, very few do. We are D E L U D E D. Meth addicts lie, and lie some more to cover the preceding lies. Denial is second nature to us as we safeguard our addictions at any cost. Self betrayal and self deception precede the deception and betrayal of others, especially those who love and care for us the most. Soaking pills is, by law, MANUFACTURING METH [BIG trouble] not something a recreational user does. A pill "soak" is potentially highly explosive and he stands a good chance of incinerating himself, and/or others. It happens frequently! Make this forum a habit and you'll get a good understanding of this madness. You have a LOT to recover from yourself, the wonderful people here can help make that happen.
draftmolly	SFJ Why? He is sick and needs help. Remember the phrase from marriage vows, “In sickness and in health” Are you a quitter? I find these two responses from you so offensive I have to say something. This is exactly like saying, "you made your bed, you lie in it"... well I'll tell you from a "wife's" perspective it's NOT that simple. I am NOT a quitter, I am a SURVIVOR!!! To stay in an unhealthy marriage when your own health, safety and sanity are at risk is suicide and TRUST ME... I was there! I was suicidal because I thought "in sickness and in health".. my mother said, "you made your bed you lie in it". I just about committed suicide rather than simply ask for a divorce. I know your situation and that your wife stood by you and supported you through your recovery but to call someone a "quitter" just because they might consider divorce their best option is very cruel. This poor woman is looking for advice, not condemnation of her possible choices. JMHO!!! ... standing here, ALIVE today because I made THAT choice!
dissappointed wife	A six year addiction is far from recreational use Thank you for the information... I assumed he was lying again. Why wouldn't he? What kills me most is that the "stuff" was within reach of my children, and right in plain open site. We all come and go from our house through the garage. He says that dissolving the pills was his part in the gig. I do have a LOT to recover from, I'm just stuck figuring our where to go. I can't stress enough that I do not want to destroy my little family. BUT if he isn't able to admit that this is a problem, then how does he possibly began to quit the habit? I feel like I'm missing something that is right in front of my face. He can't understand what my struggle is about, and is walking around as if nothing is wrong... literally. He brought a dozen roses to my work this morning. Which is NOT something he would normally do. I wanted to hit him with them, but he had my child in the car with him. So I had to be the bigger person and accept them with a smile on my face, because my daughter was with him and so excited that Mommy was getting the rose she helped pick out. I feel like I've got so little emotion left in me, that I could sit and stare at the wall all day. I know I can't stay in the stupor, but I don't understand how to move on. I don't want to live the rest of my life wonder if he is being truthful or if he is using. I done too much of that all ready. I want the power this drug has taken from me BACK!!!!!!! and now.
sillyveronica	Re: SFJ I third what draftmolly said. I've been sitting here trying to think of a nice way to put it, but had to keep deleting what I typed. I'm sure some people can stand by their addicts (and my hats off to them, because I know it had to be pure hell) ... but to look at the big picture for so many of us and the harm that we were in ... I'm insulted by your post, SFJ.
guest	SFJ-Come ON! *Quote:* Why? He is sick and needs help. Remember the phrase from marriage vows, *Quote:* Are you a quitter? DUDE , what about love honor obey, won't steal from lie to cheat on, abandon, ETC in the vows? Oh wait, you get the crutch of the 'disease'? give me a break! Oh, you make me livid sometimes!
katelin24	Re: Is there such a thing as recreational use of crystal meth? *Quote:* He to my knowledge doesn't associate with the people that are using and selling the drug. They are not people who he works with, they do not call or come around our house He is associating with them or else how would he be buying it? You also said he's involved in some form of making it so he has to sell it right???? How would he be contacting them if not by phone? Sounds a little fishy to me...
katelin24	Re: Is there such a thing as recreational use of crystal meth? Disappointedwife- don't ever feel like you HAVE to stand by him- he destroyed the marriage vows by his meth use. Also- if you feel at any time that you're in any sort of danger from him, LEAVE. The hell with putting your life in danger to uphold vows that he hasn't upheld. Add that to the fact that it's been in reach of your children, who could have DIED if they had put it in their mouths, and you are under NO obligation to stay.
draftmolly	Re: Is there such a thing as recreational use of crystal meth? I don't understand how to move on. I don't want to live the rest of my life wonder if he is being truthful or if he is using. I done too much of that all ready. I want the power this drug has taken from me BACK!!!!!!! and now. The best thing I can suggest is to find some counseling for YOU. HIS addiction will remain his to deal with.. YOU need to learn to deal with YOU. Drug counseling for you (as a family member of an addict) will help you to understand that you cannot control his addiction you can only control you. The hardest part of being married to an addict is learning that it's YOUR choice. Stay or go, it's up to you. His addiction cannot make your life a living hell unless YOU allow it. Whatever you decide to do it will be right for you but look after your health, your sanity and that of your children FIRST... he is an adult and can make his own choices about his health and sanity.
danimal55	Re: Is there such a thing as recreational use of crystal meth? Dissolving the pills is the part of the gig that he's admitted to, in actuality he IS, by all accounts, the "people" making, selling and using the drug. He is placing you in great jeopardy! You aren't the one destroying the family, NO WAY! You are the person that can save the family, with or without him. But you need help, the kind you'll find here. He has a drug that tells him "nothing's wrong" as he does his best to make you as insane and delusional as he is. I wouldn't let your child ride in a car with him, my absolute worst driving was on meth. And who knows what he's hauling around with him?
blondie	Re: SFJ I agree with draftmolly...I was also suicidal because I thought I should stay in the marriage. Leaving the marriage saved my life also, and was the best decision for me and my children...
Time4 Change	Re: Is there such a thing as recreational use of crystal meth? Lets not get too upset with SFJ. Everyone is entitled to his/her opinion and on his side of the fence his wonderful wife stuck by him and they prevailed. Good for them!! I don't believe this is possible for everyone. I'm not a quitter by any means and I too thought about my vows "in sickness and in health" But it was that type of thinking that didn't help me or him. In staying for those reasons with an active addict in denial I was continuing to enable. Don't get me wrong I'm no where near where I need to be .... I still fall backwards. You can't wait forever for them to decide to change... I've waited almost 6 months plus the X number of years prior to figuring the whole thing out. I don't know how long a person should give them to come around. I guess as long as you can take it and your not enabling their behavior. The continued manipulation, blame, lies and mind games wear a person out. It has to end somewhere or like draftmolly pointed out you lose yourself and can end up suicidal. Nothing is worth that... not in sickness or in health. Love Ya SFJ - just need you to maybe rethink/word your opinion on the quitter/sickness thing.
draftmolly	Re: Is there such a thing as recreational use of crystal meth? "You can't wait forever for them to decide to change... " Amen to that! You have to do whatever it is that makes YOUR life happy, healthy and sane. If it includes them, great.. if not... that's ok too.
nineyears clean	Re: Is there such a thing as recreational use of crystal meth? *Quote:* Is there such a thing as a recreational user of crystal meth In my humble opinion: *ABSOLUTELY F()^&'ING NOT!!*
another family messedup bymeth	Re: Is there such a thing as recreational use of crystal meth? You want to believe he's not using, but I think you know the truth. Who risks their children's health, their job, their family for a drug if they can quit it any time they want?? No one, imo. Most likely he will continue to use, especially without admitting he has a problem and seeking treatment. He'll just get better at hiding and lying and you'll go crazy wondering. You can buy a drug test at any pharmacy, surprise him with it and don't let him out of your sight until he pees (right in front of you). Then you'll know for sure.
Sfj	Re: Is there such a thing as recreational use of crystal meth? If anyone feels the need to escalate a dispute between addicts and the family members, I guess it is your choice. She came here asking some questions, I tried to help by providing answers, and once again, I get misquoted, dissed, B*tched at and told that I offended some people. If you read what I say, instead of what you think I say, you’ll see it differently. Actually, I’ve grown used to it and I’m coming to realize that in order to do some good, some one else is going to take offense. To those who have left your husband, not all marriages are like yours. I know you may find it difficult to believe, but some marriages are worth saving. Would you even consider allowing them to try or is it automatic that you tell the wife to leave if the husband is using? I see plenty of complaining about the fact that I attempt to give honest answers, and yet, those who complain the loudest are often among those who offer little in the form of workable solutions. There are a few who attempt to provide some real answers and solutions, but far too often, I see the opposite. A sign of the times, “If you don’t like what’s happening seek a divorce.” How common is that? I know that many of you are hurting, and for years, I have tried to form alliances to help you, but as soon as I tell the truth, or ask a question, or even make a statement, the “offended brigade” jumps aboard. I’m not here to offend or insult anyone. I’m hear to help and to be honest. I fail to see why that is so grossly misunderstood. Someday, I wonder what would happen if I quit trying to be nice.