KCI The Anti_Meth Site

I need advice on staying clean

gregwant 2quit	I need advice on staying clean in 16 years the longest time clean was 4 months (this past summer). then the craving just took me again. i hate it. don't want 2 lose my family! i am losing hope. can't afford treatment, dshs said i basically have to be high to get their help. where do i turn, my wife doesn't want to love me anymore. that is killing me.
Replies...
So much guilt	Re: I need advice on staying clean You have to want this for yourself. I think you've taken the 1st step in admitting that you need/want help. Please visit the websites that KCI has posted for help with meth addiction. There are programs out there for you. The main thing is removing yourself from the temptation to use, your surroundings, your friends. Read stories, focus on your family and especially your children. Keep trying to get treatment. My 22 year old son took his life this past August. Visit his memorial website, light a candle, read his story. Use his story to gain strength to overcome your addiction. Share this with your family. You are in control of changing this. Meth is the devil drug and be prepared for a fight, keep working on it. Take God into your hands and fight this. You do not want your addiction to end the way my son's did. www.austin-hesse.last-memories.com Please keep in touch with me and I will help you. I have knowledge of resources available to help you, but I need to know where you live. If you want to share, I will help you. You're in my thoughts and God Bless You!
teqa peq	Re: I need advice on staying clean Having you been working a program for 16 years? I worked my program for 5 years and then got complacent in my recovery. Life was good, I had two young children who were now in school and there was little league, and soccer, and I was den mother, I was involved with my church, I worked full time and I let my program slide. Fortunately for me I had built a strong foundation and had a lot of faith. However it was not enough. When the kids hit the teen years I lost it. I couldn't handle it. I was plagued with anxiety and depression and of course with this came the thoughts of using. I got involved with another program, and once again started working on me. This was 3 years ago. I no longer have the desire to use but realize that I must stay plugged into recovery.
Imget inrite	Re: I need advice on staying clean *Quote:* don't want 2 lose my family! That is a good place to start. Fear of loosing your family...and yourself. then the fear of losing them becomes stronger than the desire to still use, then you will be on your way my friend. There are different ways that have worked for people. Some do NA meetings, some do inpatient rehab, others do church. You have to find what works for YOU. If you try something and it doesn't work..... then don't give up... try something else. If your family is important to you..then you will do what you have to do to keep them. Use that as your strength. Kicking your habit is going to suck. What you need to keep in mind is that the stuff you will go through at first, will pass. It will be worth it in the long run..... I wish you the best and please keep us updated
gregwant 2quit	Re: I need advice on staying clean thanks for caring enough 2 reply. this crap is everywhere. i work in construction, and 9 times out of 10 every job i get there is at least 1 person who uses. it is just so hard to stay away from it when it is the norm in the framing and building trade around here. that is why i relapsed after 4 months. i started working for a contractor that had someone that used working there. its easy to spot a user (takes 1 2 know 1). once the subject came up all bets were off. that was the end of that job.
nineyears clean	Re: I need advice on staying clean *Quote:* can't afford treatment, dshs said i basically have to be high to get their help. where do i turn, my wife doesn't want to love me anymore. that is killing me. Rehab wouldn't accept my insurance, so after 13 years of pretty much non stop using, I turned to the fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous to help me get clean. It is free. There are meetings daily. I have been clean over 10 years. It is a hard thing indeed, to stop using this vile drug, but make no mistake, the longer you wait the harder it will get, and if you wait too long, you may die. Coming here is a great start. Keep coming here, and look into programs that are free of charge, like NA.
lax2	Re: I need advice on staying clean Greg........ You CAN DO THIS... I KNOW you CAN!!! I used off n on for over 16 years 1985-2001, and have now been clean for almost 5 years... You CAN DO THIS GREG.
Loraura	Re: I need advice on staying clean What have you tried already?
gregwant 2quit	Re: I need advice on staying clean i have tried a couple of support groups. bottom line there was the majority of people there, were only there cause they had to because they got busted. they had no real intention of quitting. most of the group discussion was about how to pass a urine test and what to take to do so. or just basically talk about anything but what the purpose of being there was for. the few people that were there to actually quit never returned once they realized nobody was really serious about cleaning up. that is why i quit going. the group leader at 1 was not using meth, but was usually half drunk. it was ridiculous!
danimal 55	Re: I need advice on staying clean I don't think you are "losing hope" Greg, you're here and that takes a LOT of courage, strength and hope. You DO have recovery options, one is 12 step recovery, it's free and it daily where you live, I know... I'd tell DSHS that you ARE high, you are aren't you? Make an appt. for a drug and alcohol assessment, be 110% honest and you'll be surprised at the doors that open to get you well. If you've been high for 16 yrs. [-4 months] your wife doesn't even know you, you've been an imposter to both her and to yourself...maybe it's time you both meet the real you. We'd like to meet you too Make this forum a DAILY habit, you won't be sorry. There IS a LOT you can do to end this, but only you can make the first move...and time IS a wasting'! And Greg, the cravings don't "just take me", a lot of planning, AKA Euphoric Recall, takes place in the shadows of our mind, long before we use.
nineyears clean	Re: I need advice on staying clean *Quote:* ...maybe it's time you both meet the real you. I second that Dan. And Greg, do make this forum a daily habit. Learn from those who have taken this path to recovery before you. Your own best thinking got you to where you are today. It's time to rely on others who have learned how to live their lives free from meth. You'll learn too, but you have to first trust; trust yourself with the positive steps you are taking just posting here, and trust those who have fought this addiction and won. If this tiny, feeble old lady could do it at 40 years old after 13 years of non stop use, I think you're going to be just fine. Want it with all of your heart, and be willing to do anything to recover, and you shall. This is a GREAT start.