KCI The Anti_Meth Site

Why are meth addicts always gone?

lynne	Why are meth addicts always gone? that is something i still don't understand: why do meth addicts always disappear for hours and then days? what are they doing when they say they'll be gone 15 min. and it ends up being forever? i don't understand what they do with all that secret time away. like one lady said on a recent post: he said he would be at a church meeting then he never showed and was even gone all night. why do they just disappear? and where are they? i asked this before but meth addict's lives are so secretive that there is so much i don't know.
Replies...
Sfj	Re: Why are meth addicts always gone? I know it is not one bit funny, but I chuckled a bit when I read your post. The simple AND honest answer is that they are tweaking. That means that the user’s attention has gone wayward. He is focusing on something bizarre and unable to bring his attention back to anything that is really important. Tweakers, meth users, often lose focus on reality and get totally enthralled in something else. Please read: How Meth Addicts Think and Feel The following is an old post from "What Is Tweaking?" Tweaker or Tweaking It can mean different things to different people. It is one of those street terms, colloquialisms, that has a number of generic definitions. Some common ones include but are not limited to: Repeated rapid movements usually accomplishing very little. A meth user. A meth user feeling the effects of meth. Tweaking is a feeling like an obsession to do things requiring fine motor movements. Some tweakers take things apart, like VCR’s, Computers, and Motorcycles etc. Some tweakers get into doing projects like cleaning the bathroom and end up deciding to tear all the tile out and re-tile the entire room, but never finish the project. Masturbation is a very common tweaker activity - repeating a movement over and over again. Tweaking can also be jaw clenching and teeth grinding, Meth users often have bad dental health. Things that require very little mental analysis or intelligence, but a lot of meaningless movement. Washing dishes, Computer games, making projects that never work and never get completed. Taping duct tape, aluminum foil on windows. Crawling in the carpets and rugs looking for dropped dope. Some tweakers pick at their skin. Some women spend hours combing and brushing their hair. Some tweaker jokes; How can you tell a tweaker in the supermarket? A. He has the shopping cart turned upside down and he’s trying to fix the wheels. What does the tweaker girl say when she is at her normies friend’s house and it’s getting late? A. “You just go ahead, go to bed and get some sleep and I’ll finish cleaning your house.” Writing answers like this.
lynne	Re: Why are meth addicts always gone? so that's what they do but where do they go? the common complaint is that they are never home but they'll be damned if they ever say where they are. where are they for all that time?
Juliett55	Re: Why are meth addicts always gone? More questions not answers. Why do they ether check email and call obsessively or do not check their email for a month and do not call back forever? Why do they one day tell you you are an angel that fell out of the sky, and the next day tell you that you are a villain that prosecutes them?
Rachel sue76	Re: Why are meth addicts always gone? *Quote:* why do meth addicts always disappear for hours and then days? Because they are wrapped up in the high, the getting high and the getting more to get high. *Quote:* what are they doing when they say they'll be gone 15 min. and it ends up being forever? Getting high or scoring. One time when my husband was gone, I listened to him drive around our lake all day and all night long. I knew it was him because I knew what his exhaust sounded like. That was his secret life. Getting high and driving around and around. Sounds fun doesn't it? *Quote:* Why do they ether check email and call obsessively or do not check their email for a month and do not call back forever? Keeps you hooked doesn't it? *Quote:* Why do they one day tell you you are an angel that fell out of the sky, and the next day tell you that you are a villain that prosecutes them? Your the angel when they want something. You are the villain when you stop giving it to them. They often act like a little spoiled brat that stomps their feet in the store when their mom tells them that are not going to get any candy today. "Please mommy, your so nice." " No honey, not today." "I hate you mommy. You are the meanest mommy in the whole world."
vctry7	Re: Why are meth addicts always gone? *Quote:* so that's what they do but where do they go? Any place where they get high without being bothered. Sad, isn't it. They could be home with the people that love them and they choose to leave. *Quote:* the common complaint is that they are never home but they'll be damned if they ever say where they are. It makes sense to lie and say they are somewhere nice or doing something productive. The alternative would be to tell you they are sitting at the dope house getting high, running around looking for dope or just being high, or going through dumpsters. Then you would be mad at them. *Quote:* where are they for all that time? Looking for dope or making deals or tweaking. Also time flies when they are high. A person can think only an hour went by when it has actually been 10 and the sun is starting to come up.
Penel0pe	Re: Why are meth addicts always gone? *Quote:* Getting high or scoring. And then hanging out somewhere so you can use where you aren't going to be bothered. So true. My ex used to use too - but sometimes, I didn't want to be around him - so I'd say I was going to the store... and go to the connections house. Maybe I'd call, maybe I wouldn't. Usually he'd track me down - but I'd tell whoever to tell him "She just left," and then I would hang out some more, or maybe on a good day, I'd go home (with a bag of dope - the one I intended to share, not my private stash that was hidden in the car) and acted like I was doing him a favor. So you see, even AMONG tweekers we are jerks. With my current hubby, we always did everything together, so we were a "Team" of jerks, and people didn't understand the things we did (Where ARE "they?") We were inseparable and when one or the other went to score, there was a magnetic field that pulled us back together, so there was rarely much distance between us. Then we'd run out of dope, money, and fronts, and spend the next several days trying to kill each other. Pretty fun stuff.
soso confused	Re: Why are meth addicts always gone? My husband disappears for weeks and months at a time. How come there always seems to be someone that takes him in? He doesn't work yet he always seems to have a place to stay. I struggle with paying all the bills and keeping up the house and kids and he skates! The anger I feel is enormous, I don't feel the need to help him anymore. He feels no need to even worry about anything I have to do. How much can it be the meth and how much is it him?
danimal 55	Re: Why are meth addicts always gone? Yup! Like that^ Meth tells us we're having sex whether we are or not, our brain still thinks we are. Guys will mysteriously disappear and find a secluded location to get a grip on themselves, i.e. to spank the monkey. When that ceases to provide any further "enjoyment" and we realize that we're beating a dead horse, we'll find something to "fix", typically something that still works...but we'll make it work better. In a tweekers mind if we're doing something "productive" we find a sort of twisted/deluded justification for our mental state and extended absence from our loved ones and the major inconvenience they can be to our addictive behaviors. Always BUSY trying to stay one step ahead of the tsunami of guilt, shame, remorse and fear that is barking at our heels. We'll say and do Anything to get away and tweek without interruption and/or confrontation. That's really hard to do while locked in the bathroom at home...eh? That's why. And where do we go? Anywhere you're not!
Lisa	Re: Why are meth addicts always gone? confused, Part of it is the meth, and part of it is him. I fully believe meth won't make you do things you would never dream of doing when you're clean. I believe it will not change an avowed pacifist into a deranged killer. But it WILL take whatever qualities you already possess and amplify them a thousand times over. So if your husband has an irresponsible streak in him, no matter how small, meth can take that and BAM!...he disappears for weeks at a time.
Rachel sue76	Re: Why are meth addicts always gone? *Quote:* How come there always seems to be someone that takes him in? Because he always has such a sad story about what a rotten mean person his wife is and how hard he has had it. If only someone would give him a chance then he would not have all these problems and his life would be wonderful. It certainly cannot be the meth that is the reason that his life is all jacked up. *Quote:* I don't feel the need to help him anymore And what is wrong with that? You are one step ahead in the game. You have to worry about helping you and the kids.
luve piphany	Re: Why are meth addicts always gone? *Quote:* So you see, even AMONG tweekers we are jerks Thank you Pen That's really all we ever really need to know. I've watched the tweak parties-catered them (food wise) even. They act the same wherever they are. What does it matter if it's the meth or them IF THEY ARE ON METH-THEY ARE METH-period. Sad as it is, there is a HUGE black hole/universe between a using addict and a sober recovering loved one. A huge ocean between an addict in early recovery and a recovering loved one. A stormy sea between a longer term recovering addict and a loved one. And as one gets healthier, the sick one moves further away...Heartbreaking, but true.
lynne	Re: Why are meth addicts always gone? all these replies help a lot. luvepiphany: can you embellish about these tweak parties? what goes on , the hours they take place, who is there? my man had such a secretive life. i still crave knowledge as to what his dark life is all about. i know nothing about all those hours away since he lied or would not say. thanks!
Kell happy	Re: Why are meth addicts always gone? I was always with other tweakers. They didn't want to stop me from getting high. They didn't tell me I was doing anything wrong. They wanted to be high just like I did. And then that whole thing happens, tweaking, and time begins to do weird stuff. Sometimes 1 minute takes forever, but more often, for me anyway, time just flew by. One minute it'd be morning, and then the sun would be coming up on the next day already. I was "gone" from my family for most of 2 years. The only really functional thing I did was go to work. Had to earn money to keep buying dope. Other than that, I was doing something dope-related.
SOS 1988	Re: Why are meth addicts always gone? they're tweakin....very time consuming, you can clean for days... talk for days.....think for days....hell you can even have sex for...days.......next time you wonder "where's he at?" well he's probably gakkin doing something that, if sober he'd feel ashamed of or "dirty" just my opinion...could be wrong but that's right in a lot of....no actually most cases
luve piphany	Re: Why are meth addicts always gone? lynne, I don't know about the ugly stuff that goes on other than the personal fights I've started with a meth addict that progressively got worse. I never saw any other than the lack of the ability to say no to meth. Sure they must do a whole lot of crime stuff, but they only do that with fellow users. You've seen the tweaking-they do that wherever they go. They go places where they have the least resistance to their drug use. Tell em they are doing wrong and the ugly begins. Eventually, as you get more in the know, the wall becomes so huge that unless you make a little window for them to pop in, you won't see them... At least that's my interpretation. In alanon/naranon, I learn ways to stop the obsessing because it's not doing anyone any good-and it's hurting me. I gain tools to stop asking why. It's recovery for me as well. Do I want to stay sick or do I want to heal? Same question the addict has. We need you to heal. The more recovering loved ones in the world, the more recovering addicts there will be. Try for tonight to put away the "why's and where's"-I am trying with you.
mspickle 42	Re: Why are meth addicts always gone? It's unfortunate that your man has become scandalously indecent and also shamefully uninteresting Most men know little and don't care very much about it. Superficial flirts, to get laid -- no chance at real love. Hell -- it's a joke! Try to ignore shitty thinking. Unfortunately, you're obliged to struggle with the rest of the world. Good Luck.
lax2	Re: why are meth addicts always gone it is easier for them to be away from the disapproving eyes of nonusers...
Brn7 more	Re: why are meth addicts always gone This sounds like a good question to me... One time I remember I was at this empty house looking for some matches to lite a cigarette, hiding from every noise I thought I heard...until it got too dark to see anymore! HaHA I never did find any matches, I had to go to the gas station to ask for some...I was sooooooo scared to go in and ask?????? A lot of times I used to go in abandoned houses and stare at the shadows on the wall for hours!!!! Or stare out the window waiting for someone to come??? Yes, a very good question........