doorsfan |
Violence
and meth
Hi
everyone. Just stumbled across this board and have read some of the
post. They sound all too familiar. My daughter is divocing her
addicted husband..finally!!!! My question is...will the violence
continue to escalate? Any response will be appreciated.Thanks in
advance |
Replies.. |
Haley79 |
Re: Violence and meth
Hey
Doorsfan,
Can you be a little more specific as to why you ask? Happy to offer
my advice, just don't know enough about the situation. |
unwise |
Re: Violence and meth
more
specifics would be good. my son becomes very violent. i am terrified
of him. from what i have learned here, it's when they are coming
down. tell us more. someone here WILL be able to help you. |
Penelope |
Re: Violence and meth
I love
the Doors!
Will the violence continue to escalate - you just never know. We're
a nosey bunch - do you want to tell us a little more? |
XOutlaw
Woman |
Re: Violence and meth
It has
been my personal experience that all domestic violence escalates.
It continues to get worse each time. I was married to an alcoholic
who slapped me around and a meth user who emotionally and mentally
abused me. It got worse the longer I stayed and got better when I
left! Good luck to your daughter. She has made a wise decision to
leave. |
Sfj |
Re: Violence and meth
Again, I
think meth gets too much credit.
Meth usually has a tendency to exacerbate things. It will make
something more than what it is without meth. If a person is
reclusive, meth will make him more reclusive. If he is violent, meth
might make him more violent. If he is horny, he’ll end up like the
rest of us.
Many meth addicts have a tendency to withdraw and isolate, but there
are a few who become increasingly more violent. They are not the
majority. Liquor and meth is guaranteed to be a bad combination. Pot
and meth is less harmful.
Those are my opinions. |
unwise |
Re: Violence and meth
Sfj,
I thought the violence was when they were coming down. Is that
wrong? Are you saying the violence is there to begin with or they
would not be this way? My son does smoke pot. My friend told me you
smoke pot with meth to take the edge off? Is that right?
Just for the record - I DO value your opinion tremendously! |
Sfj |
Re: Violence and meth
Both
cases, yes.
The violence, if present will definitely be more prominent on the
way down. On the way up, the user is usually feeling very good,
happy, and everything seems wonderful.
If the violent tendencies are not there to begin with, using meth is
no guarantee they will arrive. In fact, quite unlikely.
Thank you for the confidence. |
XOutlaw
Woman |
Re: Violence and meth
unwise,
a lot of users say pot takes the edge off. I would use it when
coming down to help me relax. If I smoked it while wired, it made me
plum looney!
Or should I say, loonier! |
joplinburns |
Re: Violence and meth
I cant
speak for everyone...but in my own experience when I left my x he
became more violent then in the past...he is now in prison for that.
He would stalk me, sit outside my childrens school....sit outside
the college and even sit close to my house to know my every
move....even with a full order of protection. I was scared honestly.
Phone call after phone call and text message after text message
finally the cops put a stop to it all by revoking his bond till
trial. So my answer is yes to your question....keep your selves safe
and file for a temp order of protection and then go to the court
date and get the full order...i know that it is just a piece of
paper but he can be arrested if he bother either of you.....good
luck. |
doorsfan |
Re: Violence and meth
Thanks
for all the input.Here's the story.Daughter is now 23 and has a 3
year old daughter. She has been married for nearly 5 years, however
she has been with her husband since she was 15. We knew the guy was
bad news from the beginning but I'm sure ya'll have heard or maybe
said the same things..He's not that bad..It's someone else's
fault.blah blah blah.The abuse started as emotional{head games}and
turned into physical the last year of their marriage. She moved out
and filed for divorce in March. She relocated nearly four hours
away. As soon as she moved, he moved to Florida{both are originally
from texas}. Court orderded temporary sole custody to my daughter
and his visit had to be supervised by his mom{another nut case..but
that story is for another day}.On his second visit, he threatned his
mom with a gun while my granddaughter was present.He was arreasted
on a charge of felon in possession of a firearm. He returned to
Texas yesterday for a court appearance on Wednesday.He showed up at
his moms house and choked his sister-in-law. As of right now there
is an all points bulletin out for him. He called my daughter today
and told her he was going to talk to his daughter one way or the
other.He was violent before but it seems like he is ready to snap.
She has a protective order and she is staying with my other daughter
whose husband is in law enforcement. How violent should we expect
him to get. My daughter is terrified. Thanks for the time. Any
insight will be great. |
XOutlaw
Woman |
Re: Violence and meth
In Texas
you can legally carry a concealed handgun if you take a class and
pass background checks. I suggest she sign up for a permit ASAP.I
think it is a good thing she is staying with a law enforcement
officer, but he has to go to work sometime. She needs full time
protection on her. I know I will probably catch hell for this, but
that is okay. It is perfectly legal to use deadly force to protect
your life and the life of others in immenient danger in the state of
Texas. Sounds like this guy is a ticking time bomb waiting to
explode. |
Sfj |
Re: Violence and meth
Sometimes we have to do things that are extreme, unusual and even
illegal. From reading your post, I’d take no chances. The guy could
lose his remaining sanity and go off the deep end in a heartbeat.
There’s no telling. We’ve all heard and seen TV reports about
someone violating a restraining order and going on a murder rampage.
A piece of paper is no match against a raging, insane, violent
murderer. I don’t care how many courts sign the stupid thing.
I think that sometimes, getting a handgun and learning how to use it
properly is actually the only choice we have. The old saying, “I’d
rather be judged by twelve than carried by six.”
I’m just curious, how many good law-abiding citizens on this forum
have enough faith, confidence, and trust in a restraining order to
keep them safe from harm? |
XOutlaw
Woman |
Re: Violence and meth
I have
no faith what so ever in a slick peice of paper. First of all, if
they violate it, you have to be physically able to get to a phone.
By the time the law gets there, if you can call them, it is too
late. The perp has either already done the deed or run off. I have a
lot of faith in Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson. |
Tender
Heart77 |
Re: Violence and meth
I have
no faith in a piece of paper and my ex is a police officer. He will
even tell you it is hard to protect a person all the time. But I
would get it so in case he does and they catch him harassing her
they can do something about it.
I don't own a gun. But I can tell you if I felt the need to protect
me and my son from someone like that. I would get one. I would KILL
anyone over my son..Flat out no question asked to protect him from
harm..I actually have been to the firing range quite a few time with
my ex. Believe it or not I can aim and hit my target at a closer
range than him. Damn I am good So I do believe if you need one get
it but get the training to use it properly. I live in Texas also it
is nice that we can carry a gun if we choose.... |
XOutlaw
Woman |
Re: Violence and meth
If it
does come down to proving your life was in danger, I think the TRO
or protective orders may have some bearing in court.
T.- most women are notoriously better shots than men. Something to
do with our eyesight. It is always a good feeling to be confident
that you are protected by your own hand. I would never recommend for
anyone to use a firearm without proper training and safety classes.
Texas is a great place to live isn't it? Just think, if guns were
outlawed, only outlaws would have guns! |
Just Ol Ma |
Re: Violence and meth
A U.S.
Marshall once told me the exact same thing the local county Sherrif
told me. If you must shoot, do so to kill. If you only incapacitate
him/her, they can sue you for damages. That was lesson one.
Lesson two is either shoot once and make it count. Or empty the gun.
Lesson three is make sure the blood is on the floor not outside the
door.
All three are firm indicators of self defense, with justifiable
force.
Old lessons but always applicable. |
doorsfan |
Re: Violence and meth
Thanks
for the replies. She has a gun and knows how to use one, but this
dude will come in the dead of night. Update on the court appearance
he was to appear at today..No show, so there is a bench warrant out
for his arrest. He told my oldest daughter that he is leaving for
Florida today. He knows how to work the system. He knows that Texas
wont extridite him from Florida{the guy is 26 years old, has been
arreasted 18 times and has only served 6 months in state
jail....trust me, he knows the system.} Our hope know is that he
stays in Florida. The sad thing is his daughter really misses her
dad, but my daughter knows she has to stay strong to protect that
precious little girl. My prayers go out to all of you because I know
what everyone has gone through...the lies, the manipulation, the
cons, the lack of sleep, and on and on. I want to thank everyone for
their input. It is a comfort to know that ppl arent alone in dealing
with a problem that can destroy some many lifes. Peace to all of you |
colibri |
Re: Violence and meth
I have a
restraining order and have not enforced it enough. So what I need to
do is call police whenever my exbf breaks the restraining order.
It's good to read it over and know exactly what it says. He
threatens me and puts me down every chance he gets.
Second, I had my home burglarized as an act of revenge by my ex. If
he knows where she lives, he might vandalize, burglarize or set her
house on fire. She needs to think of something to do in this
respect.
Third, if her car is parked somewhere where he has access, I would
move it into a garage so he can't mess with it. I was afraid my ex
would cut my breaklines or put sand in my tank or something.
Fourth, if my ex sees our child, he makes sure to brainwash her by
saying bad things about me and disagreeing on anything I try to
teach her. It's a nightmare. Physical violence is easy to document
and prove and prosecute. These other forms aren't. Meth sucks out
all that is good in someone until there is nothing left. |
Penelope |
Re: Violence and meth
I have
Mister Mossberg 12 gauge shotgun. Mr. Mossberg is handy - you don't
even have to aim.
Just point and click. |
Christina1 |
Re: Violence and meth
I also
have a Restraining Order. I call and call... file Report after
Report. He stalks and Stalks. 5 years ago while comming down he
shattered my jaw with one punch. I have read Law Enforcements
Guidlines when dealing with a Meth Addict. They approach with
caution. I think as the Addict loses more and more control over
their enviorment the angrier and angrier they get. They are so used
to feeling in control and Powerful. Keep filing Report after
Report... Leave a Paper trail a mile long if ya have to. They can
run, but in time they will get caught. They get sloppy after awhile
and get picked up for simple things that nail them for bigger
warrants. |
joplinburns |
Re: Violence and meth
I felt
the same way about the piece of paper but, the bottom line is that
they can be arrested and out of your hair if they violate it....and
like my x it eventually turns into aggrivated stalking which is a
felony. You also have to protect yourself though...one night my x
broke in my house and i didnt hear him i woke up because i felt
someone stairing at me i had a ball bat beside my bed and a butcher
knife in between my mattresses, i went after him with the ball bat
and forced him out of the house then called the cops and then my x
was picked up on violation of protective order. He had to sit in
jail for 20 hours and then was able to bond out....overall last year
in bonds from him violating the protective order he spent over
14,000.00 . He had no job...you tell me how he came up with that
kind of money....my point is something is better than nothing so
have some faith in our legal system they maybe slow but its because
so many abuse the order of protection and then return to their
boyfriend or girlfriend. If an officer is constantly responding to
an indidvidual that follows through every time they know its a real
threat.....hang in their and keep me posted tell your daughter their
is a light at the end of the tunnel just protect herself as much as
she can. My x has been locked up for 5 months so far and his release
date is Feb 28, 2009. |
kell |
Re: Violence and meth
You are
one of the lucky ones. I am glad everything worked out for you. I
also think of the many women who were not as lucky and had that
piece of paper only to be murdered. |
joplinburns |
Re: Violence and meth
I thank
god everyday---I had the gun in my face once and my house was even
shot at but, with every situation i became that much more strong and
the higher i went in the police department....if it wasnt for this
awesome detective maybe i would be a statistic but, i didnt!
following through and going through the chain of command at the
police department is the way to go.....and protect yourself!!!! dont
be afraid thats what they want tell them to get the hell out of your
house, dont answer their phone calls and report them every
time....... |
dot05 |
Re: Violence and meth
I love
your reply ma!
It is always so sad that it is the children who suffer the most.
One of my husbands meth friends passed me on the highway. It was
like a movie, he made a gun with his hand put it to his head and
acted like he shot. It was meant for me. I came home wrote the
incident up called the sheriffs office and placed the incident on
file. This friend is on full mental disablity, takes about 5
psycotrophics, steals his moms valium and is a meth head and cook. I
do not have a restraining order but I did get my CW here in
Oklahoma.
I cannot believe how stong your daughter is to be so young. I cannot
imagine what is like for the parents out there who deal with this.
The angels are with you. |
Lives
With
Wolves |
Re: Violence and meth
I know a
young man (early 20's) that seemed quiet, mild-mannered and sweet,
he is my neighbor. He was doing Meth one evening (don't know his
addiction history) and became paranoid. An argument escalated and he
tried to attack and kill his mom. The boyfriend/step dad stepped in
and was stabbed repeatedly by the young man. He was able to escape
to his truck and drive to the firestation where he was air-lifted to
a hospital in critical condition. Mom was able to run out a window
and go to a neighbor to call 911. What is scary is that the
boyfriend/step dad is 6'5" and 265 pounds and the young man is 5'5"
and 140 pounds. I am convinced that Meth messes & distorts your
mind, creates paranoia in you, and if you mix alcohol - look out. |