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Son getting out of rehab and I feel helpless


Kathy Son getting out of rehab and I feel helpless
My son is soon too be getting out of Rehab. He has been there for 6 months. It has been a long journey for him and us (his family). I am feeling very scared because so much has happened. Can anyone help me? Why am I feeling so helpless and scared toward him. He really has come along way. I guess part of it is the trust. I am so mixed up.
     Replies...
RIP Re: Son getting out of rehab and I feel helpless
Hello,
I don't know much about your story to offer any suggestions.
What did you do for yourself while your son was recovering?
Possibly you could look into some support for yourself.
Trust is like love, its a gift other people give to you.
Give him some time to show you through his actions that he has changed and is willing to try to live a clean and sober life.

I wish you well.
Guene Re: Son getting out of rehab and I feel helpless
Hi Kathy, I know that feeling so much, and it is scary to have to wonder if things will go back to the way they were or will he do what needs to be done. Just take it one day at a time and watch for signs. Try to be supported without be accusing at the same time. Just be yourself, and keep your guard up without letting him know or feel it. Hugs
kathy Son getting out of rehab and I feel helpless
Hey thanks for the reply.
Rip my son is 24 years old was into meth since he was 18. In and out of jail, this last round he was picked up for having pot in his car, he was clean but it was a probation violation. He asked his PO if he could go to rehab and she let him. Part of it is he had no choice because he was looking at jail.
I just have to learn to keep my mouth zipped. We want them to make changes but we also have to. I will take your advice. Enjoy!  I have been coming here for four years. The past year just lurking. My advice doesn't help me so I usually don't like to give it to other's. I will say you all have helped me a great deal through out the years. Thanks for the hug.
michelle
inwa
Re: Son getting out of rehab and I feel helpless
Hi Kathy,
Congratulations on your son completing rehab!
My son, Michael (25) is in jail waiting to go into rehab. (He's also used drugs about the same amount of time as your son.) =(

I can understand completely your nervousness and being scared (and hopeful) all at the same time!
Please continue to post,  would love to hear how things are going.

Take good care of yourself!
Kathy
as
cmom
Re: Son getting out of rehab and I feel helpless
Kathy my friend,
I know your fears. I know your hopes for your son. I really miss talking to you. All you can do is take it one day at a time, ya know? You know what to look for. Neither of us have just begun this journey. We've been down this road so many times before. I'm HERE for YOU if you need me. All you have to do is call.
Your friend
dells Re: Son getting out of rehab and I feel helpless
My daughter went into a clean & sober living facility for her recovery, she was there for eight months. After her first month her child & I visited once a week. During those visits I remained on guard, was somewhat "cold" to her, did not let little one get too attached.

Her last month at the facility I finally let her have my address, and then let her come to my home, I didn't even go get her, made her travel almost 2 hrs on the bus (let's see how badly she wants this).

Finally in April I invited her to come live with me & little one, drawing up a contract for her to sign. So far she has kept to the agreement, she goes to meetings twice weekly & church regularly. Her support group in NA is not only for her but me as well.

This last week I let her borrow my car, a big step for me in trusting her! The possibility of relapse is always in my mind, but if she's going to, it is out of my hands. Just as I hear the addicts say "one day at a time" that is what I tell myself, and days grow into years, and that's what I am praying for.........every single day!

I can't say how long until I feel a complete trust of my daughter, but just for today I am confident that it will happen.

Congrats to you & your son!
nine
years
clean
Re: Son getting out of rehab and I feel helpless
Hi Kathy. I can only imagine how scary this must be for you. And yes, I think trust is a huge issue for you at this point in time.
Thankfully, we have other moms here to give you sound advice.
I can only say as a recovering addict that some of us do recover, and if you've been lurking then you know that.
It's really all up to him. If recovery is what he wants, then he shall have it.
I guess ACTIONS will be the key. What he does when he gets out will tell you all you need to know.

My prayers are with you, and him, and your family.
kathy Re: Son getting out of rehab and I feel helpless
Thanks everyone for your in-put! What it all comes down to is the Trust. When they have screwed us time after time it is hard. I will take one step at a time and make rules. It is my home he is coming too, my castle). I really appreciate all, your time to answer. C-mom I will call you. I have had to work all week filling in for a girl on vacation. I have been gone at night until 10:30p.m. I hope your feeling better and not so overwhelmed.

See also:

What was most helpful in your recovery?

Question for loved ones of a meth addict in recovery

What is "normal behavior" the first month of recovery?


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