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When is the best time to leave a meth addict?


blue
rain141
When is the best time to leave a meth addict?
My addict used on Tuesday (he denies it) and was high as a kite until Wednesday evening. The come down started that night as he got more and more irritable. By Thursday he blew his whole pay check gambling. His meth psychosis lasted Fri- Sun... We live in the same building but not together (I put him out a year ago). I'm now considering moving because I can't take the verbal and psychological abuse anymore. It's been 5 long years. He can only say that it's all my fault and I deceived him all of this time, led him on. He takes no responsibility for his actions.

My question to all: When is the best time to leave an addict? When they're up... or down... or off... or just run like hell and hope for the best. I am afraid that he will make my life hell. Should I move and then end it. Should I do it all at the same time. If I didn't have family close by I would escape to another state and start live all over, in hiding.
     Replies...
vctry7 Re: When is the best time to leave a meth addict?
Could you please explain what you mean by psychotic episode? I am asking because I am not familiar with your situation.

My husband was like a monster out of some nightmare for a few days when he was coming down, but he wasn't psychotic. The psychosis happened later and was a whole different scene.
Quote:
When is the best time to leave an addict? When they're up... or down... or off...

If you think that he will get violent then there is no good time. You just need to leave - the sooner the better. He will eventually come down and get mad about it anyway. Do you really want to prolong the misery by staying in a relationship with someone you are scared to break up with?

Trying to wait until he is not high is like flipping a coin. Heavy addicts usually aren't thinking real clear for a while high or not.

 

luve

piphany

Re: When is the best time to leave a meth addict?
Bluerain, I personally don't think it matters a whole lot as to when, how, why or even that we leave the addict if it doesn't bum their high or the money they need to get it. Sad, I know, but think about it....if it mattered to them what or who we were, they wouldn't ever touch the shyt again.
And then, there's the issue of ....
1. We didn't cause it
2. We can't control it
3. We can't cure it
and if we think we can....we keep getting sicker

So, if what I write is the truth to you, then whatever and however you can find peace with in your heart, then that is the right way, right time for you and you are the only one that matters right now to you in the relationship
blue
rain141
Re: When is the best time to leave a meth addict?
Let's see how would I describe these episodes...

It usually starts with how I say something, he hears it as an attack. If it's not that, it's the fact that I've asked him to repeat something which turns into "you never listen to me..." That quickly snowballs in " you don't respect me, you think I'm stupid, you're a liar, I hate you- you f'ing @#%$."

That's the anger and verbal abuse. After screaming for a while he will go to his apartment (located near mine) and start throwing things and slamming doors and screaming on the top of his lungs. He literally makes the whole building shake. I'm surprised that no one has ever called the police. In between that he will call me, screaming and sobbing and the same time... telling me how he hates me, I'm a @#%$, it's all my fault and he's going to kill himself because no one care- especially me. Usually during these episodes, he's paranoid and forgets details about things that have happened- if I correct him or explain something he falls apart even faster- claiming that I think I know everything just because I'm sane and can still remember things.

It's hell. Does it sound familiar?
Penel0pe Re: When is the best time to leave a meth addict?
Quote:
When is the best time to leave an addict?

I see this as similar to what SFJ says about when we addicts will quit using:
When the pain of using exceeds the pain of getting clean (or something along those lines..)
So, the best time to leave?
When the pain of staying exceeds the pain of leaving.

JUSTCATS Re: When is the best time to leave a meth addict?
Quote:
My question to all: When is the best time to leave an addict?

Please be careful if you are going to leave him. Addicts can become very dangerous, if they are whacked out on meth.

I tried to leave my addict one weekend. I told him I am finished and I walked to the door. He flew off of the balcony and had me on the ground strangling me, before I even made it out the door.

If it were me, I would be hush-hush about moving, until you are ready to move, or move without letting him know. But then again, that is just the freaked out loved one in me speaking, from a very bad experience. 

vctry7 Re: When is the best time to leave a meth addict?
I always left when he was asleep, always. The many times I tried to leave when he was coming down and after the fight started, it always ended up real bad. I was choked unconscious during the last episode. I was six months pregnant.

I tried leaving on the first day a couple of times. He always convinced me to stay. One week later, I was wishing I hadn't.

If you live in the same building and don't want to move it's going to be hard to just break up with him and it be over. I would strongly suggest to find another place to live (don't let him know where) and then break up with him.  
Macy
stiller01
Re: When is the best time to leave a meth addict?
Quote:
When is the best time to leave an addict?
Not when is the best time to leave an addict? But when is a good time for you to leave? You need to leave on your terms and when its good for you. Not what's good for him.

See also:

Boyfriend meth addicted: How do I save our relationship?

I love a meth addict and I'm miserable

Left your Meth addict? How did you move on with life?

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