Meth and sex - connected obsession?

doctajohn

Meth and sex - connected obsession?

http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/2005-11-24/news/meth-and-sex/

Some excerpts from a fascinating article on meth and sex.

This article comes with the usual warning of the dangers of sex and tweaking - a higher incidence of unwanted pregnancy and AIDS, but it also tells the personal stories of tweakers and sex:

"I was always high, and I was always having sex," says Theresa, who -- like the other meth users in this story -- asked that her last name not be used. "The two just went hand-in-hand."

Not just sex.

But the kind of uninhibited, disconnected, sometimes violent, and often unprotected sex that tweakers obsess about, hunting for orgasms as they would a gram of meth.

Then there was this comment:

"If you talk to the users," says Richard Rawson, the UCLA researcher, "meth becomes sex. It actually stimulates the same part of the brain [the dopamine receptors] that controls sexual arousal. The chemistry of sexual arousal and the chemistry of meth become the same. That's why it's so uniquely different from these other drugs we associate with sex."

And this one by Randy, a man who has been in recovery for over 2 years an is learning to become friends with women, and has passed up opportunities for sex during recovery:

"Beyond that, all I remember is that I needed to !*@*. I was just looking for a receptacle to put my d!ck in," Randy says. "Pretty much everyone I had sex with was just a receptacle."

The sex and the meth were both addictions.

Ralph Earle, a sex-addiction expert who runs Psychological Counseling Services in Scottsdale, agrees.

"Patients will say that the only time they act out on their sex addiction is when it's in combination with crystal meth. The two of them go together. When they're sober, they're much more careful than when they use meth and cross that line into inappropriate sexual behavior.

"The meth user who is also a sex addict is either incredibly, highly motivated to make a change or there's nothing we can do in therapy," Earle says. "There has to be a reason the patient has enough motivation to come to us. They have to hit the bottom."

So while there is a strong connection between meth and sex, I imagine not all meth users could possibly also be sex addicts but both can be overcome. Randy is a prime example.

Randy wants what Theresa has. She's in a committed, monogamous relationship, and is learning what is and isn't "appropriate sexual behavior" on a daily basis.

"What I want sex to be is a communion," Randy says. "I worry that I'll never feel an emotional attachment again.

A committed monogamous relationship where sex comes with a healthy emotional attachment - sounds like Randy has the right idea.

Sfj

Re: Meth and sex - connected obsession?

http://www.kci.org/meth_info/msg_board_posts/010106/Meth%20and%20Sex.htm

robert
borges

Re: Meth and sex - connected obsession?

It"s hard to get most addicts to talk about the instand gratifacation that we use meth or other stimulant drugs...But I don"t care anymore.
If a meth addict says they use for anything other then sex..I would find it hard to believe..Even In a group environment or at meetings the
subject is not discussed openly.Mostly in a round about way...

But remembering that first time using.I can still recall..and this happened with two diff.drugs..First was free baseing..First time I hit that pipe
I wanted to jump howevers bones there were around...But my wifes long time friend a guy that was there who turned me onto it and my wife were
both present..She had just walked from our bedroom and saw what I did(hitting the pipe).She slammed her arm against the wall and started
screaming.She had a bruise for a month..

Then there was the first snort of crank..That was done a year later.With my wife included..We would use and go till the sun would come up.
So thru the years I had to have it to keep my drive going..But of coarse as the years went on that got to be less and less.
To were it wouldn"t work anymore...I"m sur that has to do alot with me being done with it and why so many have a hard time
stopping.Because the sex was great at one time...

Robby99

Re: Meth and sex - connected obsession?

Sex and meth are my two demons and they ALWAYS go hand and hand, I think of sex then I think of Meth as well.. and it keeps me stuck in same circle

Sfj

Re: Meth and sex - connected obsession?

Here's another angle:

http://www.gay.com/news/roundups/package.html?sernum=7394&navpath=/channels/health/sexuality/

robert
borges

Re: Meth and sex - connected obsession?

So this topic is in a rerun stage.The readings from kci sure answer what I was posting today...Some of us are slow to learn,,
But hey we are on the right path if we learn from our mistakes..Thanks Sfj....

Sfj

Re: Meth and sex - connected obsession?

Hey, it's all good.

Almost all topics have been repeated many times over.

When new people come to the forum, it is good to discuss things that they may not have seen before.
There are newcomers to this site everyday.
I'm sure you've read posts where people say, "I've been reading this site for months but never posted before," or words to that effect.

robert
borges

Re: Meth and sex - connected obsession?

I have read that before..Sometimes my wording sounds like a smart as remark..But I meant it in a god way.
I found myself going back thru the months just now..Reading some really good posts from some that have left and
from some newbies like me..Great pics of you and pen and I think suzette..

forget
suzette

Re: Meth and sex - connected obsession?

it's not hard to get me to talk about it.
how it was...

........memories! may be beautiful and yet, much to painful to remember! that way it waaaaas!

the pain threshold thing is incredible!

I remember once i woke up in blood.....
.....my ex pierced my nipple with his thumbnail.
I did even KNOW it, and went to sleep, right afterwards.

my nipple was crusted with blood! and the whole top part of the bed....
......I did'nt NOTICE???

I'd damn sure notice now!

.....I guess it's good i woke up 1st.

my ex woulda thought he killed me, laying in a big pool of blood.

LOL! .....I still don't belive it.

I still carry certain perversions from meth...
......still love abandoned buildings, alleys, and prefer sleezy motels to 5 star hotels.

I don't remember if this was a "meth thing"
.....I usta take my ex to the alley alot.

It might be an exhibitionist thing, that I've always been.

.....but, being slapped with a belt during sex is reasonably new, and started on meth.

(I'm non violent, I've never hit anyone in my life, and yet, i find it's quite enjoyable during sex

I think I'm desensitized or something.

.....I don't mean repeatedly.

but, a good slap makes the area tingle.

I better shut up.

Eve au
naturel

Re: Meth and sex - connected obsession?

Suzie, I too enjoy a good spanking during hanky panky. Just enough to tingle. Anything beyond that is not my cup-o' tea.
But to each their own.
But I'm under the opinion that anything that two consenting human adults do together might be "normal behavior" for them... even if would seem weird (or worse) to mainstream society.
Sure there are some things that when I think about them turn my stomach, things that would not be right for me or be in my comfort zone.
But I'm not the sexual morality (or sexual mortality) police.
I've never been that big on political correctness.

I will share this at the risk of seeming like a perv in mixed company.
Meth did make me crave group sex...
although I never found a suitable group (to the best of my recollection.)
I still long for it, and in my fantasies meth is always involved,
giving me extra spunk and desire for oral fixation.

Guess I'd better shut up too!
Never know if a youngster might be reading this.

Blushed with modesty and flushed with lust,

Smile
wasmask

Re: Meth and sex - connected obsession?

...........odd.

Robert says:
*If a meth addict says they use for anything other then sex..I would find it hard to believe..*

The whole 10 years that I was addicted to meth....
I only had sex with one.....my one and only.

One time we went for 91 daze...
Living in the same house....
Getting high most every day.....
On meth....
and we were not nekked once.

It is not cuz I am a prude....
It is because we used meth to work.
To chop down trees ,
To split and stack wood....
To weed the garden...
To stay up all night ...waiting for the cows to calve...
To fix the truck...
To cook breakfast , lunch and dinner for fellow methaddicts WHO
Were ALWAYS around.....
And I can't forget about the thousands of magazines that I had to cut up.....
My rocks had to be washed and sorted and put into the right piles....
I had to process the mulberries
And I had to sort through my piles in way weird places...
Not to mention greeting all the peeps with way weird faces.........
....then there was The Ting Thing Project.

Sighs.........so much work......and so little time.........

If we wanted to have sex...coughcoughormakelovecoughcough.....
We not only had to hunt each other down.....
*Come out, come out ,WHEREVER you are....dearie....come herey.......................*
But after we found the other ....we most oftentimes had to TRAP each other...to get us to hold still!

Can it REALLY be that I am the odd one EVEN in this my posse of fellow *black sheep*????
Tell me it ain't really so....

edited to write:

.....not nekked TOGETHER...at the same time.....
he and I both took showers....after tending to the cow babies and such......hehe....sometimes very COLD showers for me.........

robert
borges

Re: Meth and sex - connected obsession?

No family member.
My statement was meant for the response of people for me to see why they use.It should have been a question instead. Bob only knows bob and his perversions..I"m sure the largest percent fall into a sexual category though. Or am I the odd one?

Sfj

Re: Meth and sex - connected obsession?

Most of the millions of meth users get hyper-sexual. ( to say the least )

The others say they didn't. Both of them have posted here.

forget
suzette

Re: Meth and sex - connected obsession?

---

Eve au naturel wrote:

I will share this at the risk of seeming like a perv in mixed company.
Meth did make me crave group sex...
although I never found a suitable group (to the best of my recollection.)
I still long for it, and in my fantasies meth is always involved,
giving me extra spunk and desire for oral fixation.
Co-signed^

I usta draw group sex pictures alot.

...still do. :)

...ever go see your dealer, and he never stopped masterbating?
said its on the table leave the money?

some people could'nt stop...but, most speed freaks realize, it's an obbsessive
... compultion.....that could'nt be helped by the individual....
like I'd loose my mind, and cut my hair.....I could'nt help myself.
...and everyone I knew, KNEW I was doing speed when I'd be sporting my sonic hair do.

we just sorta accepted people's quirks, as just that....
.......quirks, being inflated by meth.

cymonne

Re: Meth and sex - connected obsession?

after using meth for 17 yrs, oh ya the sex is great at first, but as you continue its not so great anymore, you finally use up all your dopamine , and cant get off on sex or the meth anymore, im 4 yrs recoverd and now enjoy a healthy sexual relationship with my hubby, monne. remember what goes up, must come down ....

forget
suzette

Re: Meth and sex - connected obsession?

it all turns on you.
.......women can't orgasm, and men can't get an erection, when you finally strip your screws.

robert
borges

Re: Meth and sex - connected obsession?

At 75 days. I don"t have a sex life...Maybe It’s me But or maybe it’s not....

j4friends76

Re: Meth and sex - connected obsession?

Meth and sex went hand and hand. At first meth was a club drug the fastly became meth and sex.. I loved the way I felt on meth when I had sex. I was never one to use condoms from the start but when it came to meth and sex together I was a wild person. Pnp parties was top of my list to find. If I was not high and having sex I was not happy so I thought. When I would pnp I would not care if the person was HIV poz or neg I would ask but did not care. As long as I got my high and someone was having fun with me in some way. Now that I am sober I still love sex but I don't know if I am scared to have a hook up becouse that is part of my old ways or that I truly worried about going back out again. When I feel the eargr to want to have sex with someone I tend to tease then don't follow thro. An example last night I was in a chat room talking to 2 hotties asked me to come over. Teasing I talked to them some more. Then I found out they where high on meth and coke. They wanted me to join them. Its was that's nice I have to go to bed have a good time and then I loged off. Feeling like I want sex is a very dangers time for me. But I know that I don't need to go into the lions den to be eaten alive. My HP don't want me to go out and kill my self any more. My HP wants me to be happy. I use to drool over the fact that someone had meth and they waned sex now its like that's nice good luck with that then I leave or block them from taking to me. I am so glad that I have a HP in my life and people that I can turn to if I need them.

FYI over 236 days and counting and at lest 3 months from the last time I had sex.

Pnp aka party and play.

Broken down party is meth or drugs. Play is sex . Pnp drugs and sex. Most pnp is with meth. Used in chat room is someone asked do you pnp there looking to have sex and use drugs. Also another thing they use BB do you BB as in do you bareback broken down do you have sex with NO condom. if someone asks how to you do meth and they say they slam they shoot up meth.

smile
wasmask

Re: Meth and sex - connected obsession?

...thank-you j4.....i couldn't , for the life of me, figure it out......
...and by the way, I am very happy to read that you have found your way out of that world!
Sounds like it is a tough one to break free of.
I hope Robbie is doing OK............

j4friends76

Re: Meth and sex - connected obsession?

Thanx it was and at times still hard. Kind of funny but the biggest battle for me with this very subject sex and the the conect with drugs. I could go out in the word see people getting messed up and be very happy that is not me but when it comes to sex with the drug that's if I am not grounded with my HP my mind can get going about it. My mind wants to remember all the good time not what happends. When that happends the only thing that stops me from picking up is God or my HP.

j4friends76

Re: Meth and sex - connected obsession?

Pnp was what I lived for when I was out. Get me high and let's play if your not up to the job let's go online and find someone that will do the job. It was like more, more , more , more , more with the sex and drugs until. There was no one left to play with or no more drugs to do. Then it was crash and burn time. What I did to help me sober up was to stay away from hook up sites and porn online or any kind of porn. In 2004 the first time I tryed to sober up I throw out 100's of vhs porn. I found that I can watch porn some now But if I see a gas mask or any thing like that in the porn I have to turn it off. Old thoughts come up. It took me over 4 months to even be able to watch any kind of porn.

smile
wasmask

Re: Meth and sex - connected obsession?

.....while porn just does not do it...or anything......for me.....
....I understand the feelings that you have.....
*It took me over 4 months to even be able to watch any kind of porn.*

My idea of a good time , when I was high on meth was to have my table all set with my supplies....glue, exacto, piles of books to cut up....
And MUSIC......I could be lost for hours...for daze.....at my little table.....sometimes I would just burst into spontaneous dance...all by myself....
IT FELT SO F-CKING GOOD....
to dance until my heart was just racing....
I imagine that the adrenaline rush from dance and music is really not so different than the adrenaline rush from pnp.....
And guess what?
I could NOT listen to ANY music for ,like the first year,
It just made me feel so sad.
But after I came here to kci....and i felt the love....and support....
I hopped on a link to broken's myspace....
And suddenly I remembered music.
And it was OK !

.....maybe it is not so much the pnp....but the adrenaline from it....
There are so many other ways to feel the rush.......
I would say to you Robbie....to start hitting the gym with grumps...........
I hope that today is easier for you than yesterday.....

Jamie
J1979

Re: Meth and sex - connected obsession?

I started posting here two years ago when I first got clean. I'm a recovering heroin and cocaine addict. At the time my son's father was using crack and meth and he was experiencing sleep dep induced psychosis and many other mental health issues due to using uppers all the time. Life was not good at that time. I found out I was pregnant and stopped using and I had to move in with my mother. I was very alone and very scared. This site really helped me out. My ex was consumed by porn. The thing is I worked in the adult entertainment industry until I got pregnant. I've lived in LA and done mainstream porn. I've had a couple boob jobs. I've always had a nice body. Since I had my son I lost all but 10lbs of the weight I gained. I weigh 120lbs currently and I'm almost 5ft 4inches tall. I want to be 110. I have a training session at 10am this morning. I am working out and I started a small class that teaches you to use weights so I can toned up some more. I think my ex thought being with a stripper/porn actress would be hot just like in the movies but life is just life and I think he was sorely disappointed. He was very toxic and totally manipulative and abusive and I'm happy we've been broken up for over a year and a half.

I'm now in an awesome relationship with someone who is amazing. He is 44 and I'm 29 but we are a an excellent match. He is educated, successful, loving, thoughtful, sexy, and I'm so in love with him. Our sex life is SO WONDERFUL. There is life after dope. I know meth is different but it takes time. I've been in therapy and outpatient drug treatment. I'm a full time student studying business. After I earn my degree I plan on moving on to law school. I never thought sex could be so good but with my man it's great. We are kinky as hell and we are so open with each other. Nothing is taboo. We are planning on going to the Bunny ranch in NV for some fun. THe girls are tested and it's legal so we don't have to worry about any trouble with the law or getting a disease. We will use protection of course but still. I think a lot of people think that sex can never be as good as it was when they were using. I find this to be totally false. With the right person and if you are totally open and able to get kinky without being all doped up. I was a heroin addict mainly so sex wasn't really something I did while high, and cocaine made me HATE sex. So my sex life wasn't good at all when I was using and I started using hard around 18 so I never had a decent sex life prior to drugs. Now that I've been clean two years and really comfortable with my partner anything is possible. I love it. He has always had a rich fantasy life but never acted any of those fantasies out with his ex wife. She was very uncomfortable with being creative at all and would only do it in missionary position in the bedroom. That's it, end of story.

We have known each other for 4 years but just started dating the last year. Things got real serious within the past few months. I think that since we were friends first and our connection was so strong and we were willing to be open with each other our sex life has just blossomed. My ex was diagnosed with HIV four weeks ago. I was freaked when I first found out but then I got tested again and I'm negative. We haven't had sex in a LONG LONG time and I haven't lived with him in years. He still uses drugs and engages in risky sexual activity. He told me he got it from a man he was staying with who was HIV positive and has been for the last 20+ years. He is gay. My ex is gay for pay or in exchange for dope so I don't know it he got it through sex or by sharing needles. He claims to have shared needles but I find that hard to believe. Have you considered seeing a therapist that specializes in sex issues to help you get through this so you can go on to have normal healthy sexual relationships? How do you feel about that?

forget
suzette

Re: Meth and sex - connected obsession?

it's an addiction, within an addiction.
....speed makes you horny, staying up makes you twisted.

it stimulates your body.

.....if feels good when you rub it, and porn is always fun.

there's no mystery about it.

.....since you have no saliva, you can't really kiss, it's like kissing a mummys butthole,

so you jack off and watch the weirdest possible explotations you can find....
.....stuff you would never usually think about..


stuff that makes you wanna scrub your brain clean.